Orgasm is an overpowering emotion sensed between your ears, not your legs. The brain is the only organ that can provide reactive feelings like intensive orgasm. Orgasm is the point at which all the tension is suddenly released in a series of involuntary muscular contractions that may be felt in the vagina, uterus, rectum… Male orgasm has duration of 3 to 5 seconds, female orgasms last a little longer, 5 to 8 seconds. To achieve orgasm, erection or ejaculation is not required; orgasm, erection and ejaculation are separate, independent functions. Orgasm is a psychological fact, an exclusively energetic process, a rush of intensely pleasurable sensations and emotions that needs only a healthy and functional brain.
When a woman is having an orgasm, parts of the brain that govern fear and anxiety are switched off and as she climaxes, an area that governs emotional control is also heavily deactivated. During orgasm, the cortex, the part of the brain governing conscious action, is not activated, so to have an orgasm, women need to not be fearful or full of anxiety!
The pleasure of sex is a great gift we receive as a human being, but it needs to be created with intelligence, responsibility and careful planning. When both sides understand that the brain is the biggest sex organ they will be happier and the brain won’t be relaxed if you don’t practice safe sex! Your partner won’t be able to feel pleasures when she is worried about diseases or pregnancy!
Why orgasm is difficult for many women? About 15% to 20% of sex therapy cases involve women who have never had an orgasm, and there are probably many more who have not sought therapy. Many factors can influence a woman’s ability to have an orgasm. Physical, emotional, and social factors play a strong role in determining whether or not a woman experiences an orgasm. Physically, women usually need more stimulation than men to achieve an orgasm. The clitoris is the center of physical sexual arousal for most women. However, the clitoris is not located in a place that is particularly likely to be stimulated during vaginal intercourse, and it is difficult to get adequate stimulation from most positions. Practice and communication are important to find out what is most effective in leading to a woman’s orgasm, in addition, having a kind, caring, and experienced partner is certainly of benefit.
These days, every healthy woman should be able to have orgasm; furthermore, the majority of women are capable of multiple orgasms, if they wish to have them! What happens in a woman’s body during a climax is very like what happens in men’s body when they ejaculate. A feeling of increasing excitement, building up to a point where everything blows in a great blast of ecstasy. This orgasmic period is characterized by surges of contractions in the sex organs, occurring almost every 0.8 seconds. (Note that some women do experience orgasms without contractions.)
The major difference between male and female orgasm is, after the first climax, many women achieve orgasm again, often within a minute or two, but this is extremely rare in males, and only few young women can achieve multiple orgasm, because it has to be learned, and with the help of a skilled lover, most women can eventually achieve the capacity for multiple orgasms!
As you have your own taste in food, fashion, and sex, your lover has her own taste in what turns her on sexually. Unfortunately many women have a very vague notion of what turns them on sexually, or are only familiar with few things, and for this reason, men’s duty is to help woman to discover as many things as possible and use this information to increase the sexual pleasures.
But in fact, men can not give an orgasm like an aspirin tablet; they help women achieve one, if only they have the correct data to make right things. You have to spend time with yourself to discover what gives you pleasure, and share this info with your lover to make things happen. Working by yourself you can learn how to orgasm in new ways that will make it easier to accomplish with your lover. Two of the many ways for women to orgasm during intercourse are either via additional stimulation to the clitoris during intercourse, or finding a way to directly stimulate your g-spot. These techniques can take time and effort to be learned and practiced by your lover, but if you spend time investigating the possibilities by yourself you’ll be better prepared for success.
Most of the times, creating the same pleasures that they feel by themselves, is a problem to solve with their lover, and the only way is transferring the right data through a nice channel. Avoiding any criticism, any offensive approach is highly important, and being very careful is a must! You may use a method of telling him you want to show what you do in private when you are thinking about him? Most men love to watch while you do a show and tell. You can even ask him to help by giving you additional stimulation.
There are two major types of orgasms a women can have, clitoral and vaginal orgasms. When masturbating, women usually learn to orgasm using their clitoris. There is nothing wrong with that, but it leaves the world of vaginal orgasms virgin. Many women are unable to climax during intercourse, as they aren’t familiar enough with the stimulation to enjoy it to its fullest extent. And coitus, commonly known as vaginal sex, can be one of the clumsiest ways to stimulate a woman, if done without thought. While it does provide an atmosphere that can be highly arousing, emotionally satisfying and erotic, the degree of stimulation to the woman’s clitoral area is nothing compared to masturbation or cunnilingus, so manual stimulation to the clitoris during intercourse may be useful.
How to achieve orgasm during intercourse
The missionary position (with a full pelvic tilt): This position enables the penis to reach the g-spot, the part of the clitoris that extends into the upper side of the vaginal wall. Lie on your back, beneath your partner, and tilt your pelvis upward by putting one or more pillows beneath your buttocks, or ask your partner to rise up your buttocks with his hands.
The woman on top: This position allows the woman to adjust the position of her pelvis so she can better control the friction of the penis against her g-spot. This position also allows deep thrusting into the vagina, which can stimulate the cervix and trigger an orgasm, and will be much better with your partner sitting in the bed, his belly rubbing your clitoris!
Strengthen the grip: During intercourse, many women flex their pelvic floor muscles to give both partners greater pleasure. The stronger the muscles, the better you can contract your vagina and create greater friction against your partner’s penis, leading to more clitoral stimulation. Try squeezing down throughout intercourse.
Keep your legs together: You can create friction from the penis and lead to a clitoral orgasm. When your partner inserts his penis into your vagina, squeeze your legs closed and have him place his legs outside yours. Your partner can then squeeze your legs further closed with his thighs. It may help if he can shift his pelvis forward to cause pressure and friction on your clitoris.
In reality, orgasms are very individualistic things and there is no one correct pattern of sexual response. Whatever works, feels good, and makes you feel more alive is the most important. What if you can’t orgasm? Then you just can’t for the moment, and that’s no big deal. Sex isn’t about orgasm, it’s about pleasure, and it’s hard to experience pleasure when you’re trying to get past the finish line with little care for running the race. As people say – it isn’t if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game? Sex is a process, not a product!
Amy Guven is founder partner of Vitalinfocenter.com since 2000 and author of “Amy’s Tutorial – Reshape your Womanhood”. Containing all vital sex tips, techniques, pro methods including intensive orgasms, and being highly successful as a reference book, Amy’s Better Sex & Relationships Tutorial aims to help people have a better life and relationships worldwide.