Bondage Radio

Most people find it hard to describe themselves and in online dating personal ads or profiles, they are even worse. Daters tend to mention things in their profile which they would otherwise never reveal to someone upon first meeting. A search through any personals ad website will make it clear that singles do not talk about the important and relevant items for choosing a date or partner. A typical online dating ad is littered with points such as these:

• Subjective self-descriptive phrases such as “I am honest, creative,
  and spontaneous, “ignoring one important question: who doesn’t think
  that about themselves?!
• Incessant rambling about a favorite TV show, baseball team or rock band. Would you REALLY choose a partner based on that?!
• Sexual innuendos: I like full body massages from my girlfriend/boyfriend, like kissing in public, and so on.

Online Dating Profile Tips

Here are some tips on how to go about writing a great online dating profile. Tips that you should discuss in your profile that highlights and gets the real you across in the message, including a glimpse into your personality. This kind of help should get responses from the right people, making your dating ad worthwhile.

The best way to write a profile is to imagine yourself meeting someone new for the first time in a casual, no pressure setting such as a coffee shop, a local bar, or friend’s party. Think about the kind of things you would tell others about yourself. Your dating profile or personal ad is the same idea extended onto the Internet.

Follow a factual but casual approach to writing your personal ad. You want to let the people get to know concrete things about you, but at the same time, your ad should not come across as a boring resume. Sprinkle it with some humor and exclamation marks! Make it fun and interesting.

A good online dating profile has 200-250 words, with 150-200 words for yourself, and 50-100 words describing the kind of person you are looking for.

Discuss Your Career History and Plans

Talk about schools you have attended, jobs you have held, and your future career aspirations. These are generally looked at as positive. Think of it as the first conversation you are having with someone: Don’t we usually talk about we do? This is excellent to write about in a dating profile. Be somewhat brief because you don’t want to go on and on about selling shoes, delivering the mail, or designing and cars.

If you have children, tell the other online dating singles a little about them. This is an important part of your life, and will peak the interests of people who are interested in dating you. Mention their ages, and whether or not they live with you. Don’t describe them too much but giving their ages for example, makes you come across as a normal parent.

If you have moved around a bit in your life, mention the places
where you have lived. It gets more people interested in you and wanting
to write to you. For example, if you are presently living in Los
Angeles but have lived in Dallas, someone who has a Texas connection is
more likely to write to you. If you have lived internationally, all the
better-people are always interested in life in other places and
cultures.

If you have just moved to where you are living now, mention that.
People love playing tourist guides. They are eager to know new faces
from other parts of the country or the world. They can also help you
settle down in the town more easily-so even if nothing happens
romance-wise, you can always make some good friends.

If you speak a foreign language, mention that. It attracts
attention. Along the same lines, mention a little of your family
genealogy, as people may find a connection there as well (e.g. I have a
Scottish or Chinese mother).

Funny and Witty Go a Long Way in Dating

Talk about how you entertain yourself. This is where you can be
funny and witty, so exercise your imagination. Mention about your
social circle. Are you a social person? Do you have many friends? Do
you go out with them a lot? What activities do you do with them? If you
have a good relationship with your siblings, your parents, and your
family, mention it. Mention if they live close to you, and how often
you see them.

Mention if you like pets, and have any of your own.

When you are talking about the person you are looking for, be clear
about your requirements, but make sure you don’t limit yourself
unnecessarily. If you do not want to date men who have kids, say so. If
you do not want to go out with smokers, mention it clearly in your ad.
Again, be careful because you are restricting potential mates here.
Write personals ads and develop your online dating profile with items
that you are very sure you absolutely want or do not want in a
potential partner.

Mention if you are looking for a stable relationship or if you are
just looking to make friends and will see how things go from there
(“looking for nice and interesting people to hang out with”).

Dating Profile Writing and You

In the end, remember to be yourself and let others know what you
want. It will save you a lot of time and effort and just might pay off!
Good luck!

Calling someone who only dates within his race a racist is like calling a gay man a misogynist.

By STEVE KOVAL
Friday, November 19, 2004

“I LOVE YOUR sweet black ass.”

That’s what the white guy said to his black lover after sex in a scene in the fantastic new film, “Brother to Brother.”

The film tells the story of a black gay art student thrown out of his parents’ home after his father sees him kissing another man. But that awkward scene elicited nervous laughter from our mixed-race audience.

The black lover immediately pulled away. He wanted to be thought of as a person rather than as the object of his lover’s fetish for black men.

A white friend of mine who exclusively dates black men was very uncomfortable with that scene. Just as the white lover in the film did not understand why what he said was objectionable, my friend was similarly baffled.

He asked me where the line is drawn between feeling attracted to men of a certain race and objectifying them. Is it possible or desirable to change what type of man we find attractive?

AS SOMEONE IN an interracial relationship, I could understand my friend’s discomfort. It’s never been an exclusive thing for me in dating or hooking up, as it has with my friend. For me, “hot” transcends race. If I’m a pig, then I’m an equal opportunity pig.

Although I’m not hotly pursued very often these days, I had the experience a few years ago of being seduced by someone of a different race. He was very attractive and popular. I was flattered by the attention. But I learned later that he had a thing for Jewish guys.

I didn’t feel so special or flattered after I discovered I was just another one of the “Chosen People” to him — double entendre intended. My experience of being the object of a “Jew fetish” helped me relate better to the black lover in “Brother to Brother.”

Several years ago I dated an Asian man who bitterly complained on the first date: “The only thing that white men want is to touch my smooth Asian skin.” You better believe I was never going to comment on his skin after that crack.

Yet after the first time we slept together, he insisted that I tell him how wonderful his skin was. And, indeed, his skin was very smooth, and he relished me telling him so. He might have complained about white guys objectifying him, but at the same time he invited it and enjoyed it.

I’M NOT SURE we can make a conscious change in what type of man we find attractive. I think we’re happier when we are coupled with people to whom we’re naturally drawn.

I’m not saying that only the packaging matters, but there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging our physical types, even if they involve a little racial profiling.

People who brag about how they have “evolved” beyond mere physical attraction protest a little too much. They remind me of the ex-gays who claim to have evolved beyond their same-sex attraction.

In today’s world with embarrassingly frank cyber-profiles just a click away, it’s easy to find someone with complementary tastes.

I can’t get too upset about personal ads and profiles where someone eliminates a whole race or races from the dating pool. There are plenty of black guys only interested in other black guys, white guys only interested in black guys and vice versa.

Is that racist, or honest, or both? Wouldn’t calling someone who only dates within his race a racist be like calling a gay man who refuses to date women a misogynist?

ABOUT SEVEN YEAR ago, I began to feel drawn toward Asian men, for reasons I can’t explain. Fortunately for me, my Asian boyfriend is attracted to white guys for reasons he also can’t explain.

So call it an attraction or a fetish, but as a couple it works for us: a yin and yang kind of thing — or yin and yank, if you’ll excuse the pun.

Of course, you can’t sustain a relationship by simply satisfying your racial preference in selecting a partner. When he’s inconsiderate, absorbed in porn, or failing to help with the housework, the last thing you’re thinking about is his race.