Archive for male

Sexual Fetish Addiction – Treatment and Issues in Society

By: Emma James MABNLP, MATLTA, MAHYP, Dip FTST

Something which is very prevalent in our society today is the fact that we have to hide our preferences which appear to be socially unacceptable. Anything which is deemed to be “deviant” is then assumed to be not “normal” and therefore should be hidden.

This in itself then creates a behavior which is secretive and creates a feeling of anticipation which in itself is then felt as exhilarating and something which is breaking the rules especially if that person has a life where they feel they have to conform.

Sometimes the issues are not necessarily with the client and does lead us to question whether it is in fact society which has the problem and not client, particularly if the sexual fetish is not harmful to self, others, a problem financially and is not feeling like a compulsion or addiction. Yet, I still get enquiries and see clients who feel they “should not” have the need or the want to indulge in something they enjoy purely on the basis it is not socially acceptable.

However, when a sexual fetish becomes an issue, is obviously when it does become obsessive, an addiction, harmful to ones self or to another or others. Additionally there is the issue of whether the client can afford it, it is encroaching on their relationships or getting in the way of their lifestyle or future.

As you well know, the variance of sexual fetishes is never ending and may be from apparently mundane attributes which we might never see as sexually arousing through to better known terms of experiencing that one preference which somehow fulfills our needs.

The need for dominance, being subservient, visual or tactile fetishes like tights or pantyhose, physical fetishes like wrestling or female muscle worship, the sexual anticipation of visiting massage parlors or hiring high end escorts and so many others which vary and in a way give us something which we feel give us what we need in no other way anything else can. The point is – there should be no judgment as each of us in some way have a preference in our sexual makeup just same as preferring blondes, brunettes, short, tall, thin etc. It is just that those preferences have been deemed as “acceptable” by not only society but also the press.

When a client decides they need to deal with this sexual fetish, then the first step is to establish whether or not they need to in fact lose it altogether. Is it something which feels out of control?

The problem is that if ultimately you do not want to let it go altogether, then no treatment will work. No doctor, psychologist or any other therapist will be able to help if in fact there is resistance at some level in letting the fetish go. So, the first thing we have to do is to decide if you do in fact want to completely lose it, or in fact you want to keep it under control and be something you might like to indulge in occasionally instead of it taking over your life. That way – if there is agreement at some level, then you are able to conduct therapy effectively.

Some of the issues associated with fetishes are when they have in fact become an addiction. A continual need to have that feeling fulfilled which then takes over so much of your mental space and energy it is difficult to focus on any other area of your life.

Again, this is easy to deal with and with a combination of NLP, TLT and Hypnotherapy, depending on the need of the client, the compulsion and overriding need starts to reduce and then disappear.

One thing so many therapists forget about is that you are now creating a very large empty gulf and if in fact you do not gain agreement from the client as to how in fact to full that gap then the fetish or addiction/compulsion can then come back as it is the only thing which will full the void.

Also – fetishes which are not wanted can also be a product of other parts of the self which have not been developed or are formed by past life experience or learned behaviour in some way. For instance, a client who required severe domination to the extent of being cut and experience blood letting had in fact formed the connection of release and that pain from when he was young and had been involved in a car accident resulting in multiple fractures and severe pain. The pain then turned into a kind of “rush” as he put it and a release in a way and then he began to seek that same feeling from other avenues. The problem had begun when he needed to be cut and experience the pain to that degree which he knew was taking him into a place which was not beneficial for him. That is when he contacted me.

Some clients decide on something which is better for them like a renewed interest in self, doing something more productive for themselves or maybe taking part in another sexual activity which is less harmful or distracting for the client and they do not have the same compulsion towards.

The approach I have with clients is somewhat different from other therapists as we look for the connections and what the client is gaining from the fetish and what it gives them and find another way of giving them the same feeling of pleasure, belonging, elation, anticipation, release that would be missing and possibly create another compulsion if not dealt with.

So many therapists claim to be able to deal with fetishes but without understanding the client or understanding fetish and with the belief that a set treatment will “cure” them of their terrible affliction! I have to say that as yet, no one has yet shocked me nor have they presented anything other than a logical need or want based on their life experience and current requirements in order for them to feel whole.

So, if your preferences/fetishes have become unmanageable in some way then do seek help but first look at the reasons you are about to deal with and ask yourself if it is because you are looking for an apparent social acceptance if it is not hurting anyone else or yourself in any way?

If you would like more information about sexual fetishes and addictions then please go to:

www.emmajames.net

or email me at emma@emmajamesnlp.co.uk

About the Author:

Leading UK therapist with many years of research and patient results in eating disorders and weight management. Also, Emma James is a twice World Champion and current World Record holder and coaches many sports professionals in producing World winning results – just as she has proved it herself.

Safe and Hygienic Sex Toys and Vibrators

sex

There are many misconceptions in the minds of people about women’s sex toys. It is general conception among people that only immoral women who have a high libido need sex toys. However, the fact is that sex toys and vibrators are the need of healthy and normal women. Society should soon change their collective minds about women. They should realize that women who use sex toys are not abnormal. It is the need of women to buy sex toys and vibrators to satisfy their inner desires of sex.

Why safe and hygienic sex is important?

Safe sex is very important for both male and female sex partners. It keeps unwanted sexual infections away. If you want to enjoy healthier and happier sex life, then you need to keep your sex organs hygienic. You should follow safe sex guidelines that help to prevent all sexually transmitted infections. Unhygienic sex invites infections easily.

You should take necessary precautions for safe sex before using sex aids like sex toys. If you share sex toys with other partners, you need to keep protection level high. Always wash sex toys before any type of sexual foreplay. It keeps you safe if you wash sex toys between acts of sex. You should use separate sex toys for different sexual actions. It ensures safety from sexual infections, which you can catch easily.

Hygienic sex toys and vibrators

Hygienic sex toys and vibrators help to keep your genital organs free from any sexual infection. When you buy sex toys and vibrators, you should ensure that there are no cracks or tears. Hygienic sex toys and vibrators reduce the chances of any cross infection with your partner. If you use one sex toy or vibrator on more than one part for body, then you should wash and clean the sex toy after each use. If you maintain unhygienic conditions, sexual infection can easily grip your genital organs.

Use sex toys that contain high quality material

You should always buy good quality sex toys and vibrators. This ensures safety of your vital sex organs. A vibrator penetrates deep into the vagina. If it is made from ordinary material, it may cause damage to the sensitive blood vessels inside the vagina. It may even give rise to infection in your sensitive parts. Therefore, you should do some extensive research of the market before buying sex toys and vibrators. You can do it easily on the internet.

You can choose among masturbators, strap ons, vibrators, rabbit vibrators, fun vibrators, g-spot vibrators, jelly vibrators, realistic vibrators, classic vibrators, men vibrators, sex machines, Screaming O cock rings, anal toys and glass dildos for enhancing your sex life.

Availability of sex toys and vibrators at online resources

You have an easy option to search for sex toys and vibrators through online resources. There are many websites that provide information about latest and original sex toys available in the market. You can search for these websites and get relevant information.

You can also buy sex toys and vibrators online as this process is quite simple. All you need to do is research the internet and locate websites that sell sex toys. You can easily find all the required information about order processing and the reliability of the sex toys.

Maintenance of sex toys

It is very necessary for you to maintain your sex toys. You should clean the sex toys and vibrators thoroughly. If your sex toys or vibrators work on batteries, then you should remove the batteries after using these sex toys.

You should not expose sex toys and vibrators directly to sunlight or extreme temperature. You can safely put these sex toys in your bedroom drawer. It is always good to keep each sex toy separate and wrap them in cloth to protect and maintain them.

You should clean sex toys and vibrators thoroughly with very warm water. You should not use detergents or soap, unless you are sure it is antibacterial. Dry these sex toys after cleaning. Some kinds of sex toys need lot of care and attention from your side. If you use rubber sex toys, make sure to use them with condom. You should use hot water for cleaning latex sex toys.

Top Ten Fetishes You Will Wonder About

Meow!Some fetishes are crazy but it is true that they exist. Men and women are sexual animals who derive pleasures from various avenues. Here are some ten fetishes which are top on the list. It is good to gauge your degree of fixation by reading about other people. During a survey carried out recently the following was revealed. Number ten on the list concerns stomachs. Males and females admitted that taut tummies drive them crazy. They said they will never be caught dating a person who has loose tummy. However some men admitted that they love women with a teensy-weensy tummy to help them release their sexual urge on the woman’s tummy. Otherwise his experience would not be enjoyable.

Number nine among the ten fetishes concerns body piercing. There are people with an obsession about tongues, nipples, penises, eyebrows and belly buttons. They would not get turned on by a person without these or more body piercing. To them it is not only beautiful but prerequisite. Men love material such as rubber, leather, latex and vinyl. Actually they do not love the feel but the pornographic quality the material gives to the act of love making. Men will always have a fixation with a “bad girl” look even though they settle down with a “nice woman”. They find it teasing to watch a woman walking around in something tight and shiny. To some, the fetish goes as far as ordering their girlfriends to change their wardrobe to latex and leather attire only.

Among the fetishes, number seven concerns submission and domination especially in bed. There are some men who love their sexual encounters better if the woman orders them around like slaves. They are smacked, spanked and even penetrated with a strap-on. These variety of men enjoy being submissive to the women. I guess they are just tired of dominating all the time. Number six talks about something you are familiar with. Many people have a fetish with hand and feet. Some men only date women with beautiful toes and feet. This is because they love to bite, suck, lick and kiss their women’s feet. Crazy as it may sound, some women exclusively climax on sucking a man’s finger as though it was his penis. Number five on the list is about men’s crazy obsession with red lipstick and long, red-painted fingernails. It is a thing of the 1980s but it makes them feel like they are having adulterous sex which is exciting.

Men are so much into pigtails, braids and ponytails. Hair is a great fetish is among the ten fetishes. Men prefer dating younger women and dating one with a pigtail makes them feel like their desires are fulfilled. They too love the way the hair is tied up such that it resembles a whip. They then demand their women to whip them with the tied hair and it turns them on ultimately. Some women have a fetish for bald heads. They love to caress the bald head during a passionate embrace. Fetish number three involves water. Some people admitted to having enjoyed sex when there was some running water at the background. It could be rain or the shower. Number one on the list is voyeurism and exhibitionism. Many men need to see sex being in performance in order to enjoy their sexual encounter. They have to be watching pornography or erotic movies to orgasm.

Fetish: for Your Pleasure

While some think that fetishes are sexual obsessions the truth is that these days a fetish is anything that heightens your sexual experience – even more than usual. It could be getting gagged and bound or having your naughty little romp video taped, it could be dressing up in leather or having sex with a complete stranger… even your love of women in heels could be painted with the ultra sexy fetish brush.

Feet and Toes Fetish

Maybe Madonna had it right when she said; “Shoes are better than sex because they last longer,” but according to the largest global study of sexual kinks ever under taken, there are a lot of men and women who don’t have a problem combining the two. This fetish was voted one of the world’s most favourite with thousands touting their love of foot jobs and toe sucking proving that putting your foot down can create new sexual delights… which leads us to the next fetish on our list…

Trampling Fetish

If you’ve ever had someone walk on you during sex then you’ve been trampled on and if you haven’t tried it then give it a go – it’s exhilarating for those who get off on domination. The woman wears high heels while she walks over the man’s chest, throat, stomach, and crotch. Funny thing is that the man will barley move even when the woman is standing on his crotch with spiked heels. The men love the idea of being under a woman’s heel and the woman loves being on top. It’s a win-win situation where everyone gets off!

Domination Fetish

Speaking of domination… this fetish is all about submission – there’s something about having power and being overpowered that sends tingles to all the right places. This fetish has become so popular that it can’t really be classed as underground anymore with more and more clubs organising special domination nights. Using props like whips, chains, handcuffs and gags, domination lovers get a thrill out of being the dominant one or losing control by being controlled.

Latex and Leather Fetish

Seeing a hot body adorned in tight leather or latex could quite possibly be one of the sexiest sights and lucky for those who love this theme as it has an enormous underground culture. There are retail stores where you not only purchase anything and everything latex and leather related, you can also find out about latex parties where you will be surrounded by people dressed in leather and latex all night long.

Uniform Fetish

Who doesn’t go crazy for a man in uniform or a woman dressed in a cheerleader’s outfit? This is a very popular fetish for men and women alike and it really brings the fantasy and fetish world together for a truly naughty night. This fetish is fairly broad and can be taken to any degree you feel comfortable with. A female doctor who seduces her patient or a medieval knight who knows how to use his sword – the options are only limited by your cheeky imagination.

Messy Food Fetish

When the batteries run out on the vibrator what’s a girl to do? Well this fetish might offer some solutions as it involves doing all sorts of things with everything from bananas to jelly. Whether it’s playing with it, smearing it all over the body or having someone else lick it all off, the messy food fetish involves all sorts of bits and pieces you can find at your local grocery store. The tame at heart will probably stick to the chocolate body sauce which is just as delicious in more ways than one.

Balloon Fetish

This one is a little unusual and so we just had to include it! This fetish involves being turned on by balloons; the smell, the noise, the excitement of not knowing when they are going to pop. People who enjoy this fetish are known as ‘looners’ and just hearing a hottie huffing and puffing on a balloon is enough to drive them over the edge.

Profile of the Week – green_eyesangel

green_eyesangel
[From Bondage-Radio Members-Area]

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From: San Diego County, California, United States
Sex: female looking for Female
Age: 29
Drinks: occasionally
Smokes: no
Build: Average
Ethnic Origin: Caucasian (white)
Children: no
Height: 5′ 5″ (165cm)
Seeking: 1 on 1 sex
Adult Interests: Web Camming, Cyber Sex, Swinging, Dogging, Exhibition / Voyeurism, Sex Toys, Anal Sex (Giving), Anal Sex (Receiving), Dildos, Power Play, Masturbation, Domination, Oral Sex (Giving), Oral Sex (Receiving), Cunnilingus, Massage, Making Home Movies, Leather, Lingerie, Fisting, Handcuffs / Shackles, High Heels, Anal Toys, Candle Wax, Breast / Nipple Clamps, Bondage, Arse (Ass) Play, Biting, Blindfolds, Role Play, Spanking, Strip Tease, Threesomes, Erotic Chat / E-Mail
green_eyesangel’s Description:
green_eyesangel’s Ideal Partner:

Profile of the Week – ashleykisser08

ashleykisser08

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From: Southern California, California, United States
Sex: female looking for Male
Age: 24
Drinks: occasionally
Smokes: yes
Build: Toned
Ethnic Origin: Caucasian (white)
Children: no
Height: 5′ 7″ (170cm)
Seeking: 1 on 1 sex
Adult Interests: Web Camming, Swinging, Dogging, BDSM, Exhibition / Voyeurism, Discreet Relationship, Sex Toys, Anal Sex (Giving), Anal Sex (Receiving), Dildos, Transvestism, Rubber, Sadism, Power Play, Masturbation, Domination, Oral Sex (Receiving), Fellatio, Cunnilingus, Massage, Masks, Making Home Movies, Leather, Latex, Gangbangs, Handcuffs / Shackles, Cross Dressing, Scat, Chains, Candle Wax, Bondage, Arse (Ass) Play, Blindfolds, Spanking, Strip Tease, Tantric Sex, Threesomes, Watersports
ashleykisser08′s Description:
im sexy…hot and pretty
ashleykisser08′s Ideal Partner:
someone to chat with.

Profile of the Week – PeachCOBLER

PeachCOBLER

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From: Arkansas, Arkansas, United States
Sex: female looking for Male, Female, Couple M+M, Couple F+F, Group
Age: 18
Drinks: never
Smokes: no
Build: Hour Glass
Ethnic Origin: Mixed Race
Children: no
Height: 5′ 6″ (168cm)
Seeking: 1 on 1 sex
Adult Interests: Web Camming, Cyber Sex, Swinging, Discreet Relationship, Dildos, Masturbation, Domination, Oral Sex (Giving), Oral Sex (Receiving), Massage, Making Home Movies, Lingerie, Gangbangs, Handcuffs / Shackles, Breast / Nipple Clamps, Spanking, Strip Tease, Threesomes
PeachCOBLER’s Description:
Hey whats up.
My name is Isabella
and I am German and Argentinian
which is white and Hispanic :)
I am 117 pounds and i am 5’6
I love music and poetry I am
crazy and I love to Party :)
PeachCOBLER’s Ideal Partner:
I am looking for picture exchange and a fun kinky time Im down for anything but Please don’t make it boring :)

Profile of the Week – dogger1802

Bondage-Radio Members-Area:
dogger1802 200805181018

From: Coventry, West Midlands, United Kingdom
Sex: female looking for Male, Female, Couple M+F, Couple F+F, Group
Age: 30
Drinks: occasionally
Smokes: no
Build: Slim
Ethnic Origin: Caucasian (white)
Children: yes
Height: 5′ 9″ (175cm)
Seeking: discreet relationship
Adult Interests: Web Camming, Cyber Sex, Dogging, Exhibition / Voyeurism, Discreet Relationship, Sex Toys, Dildos, Sadism, Masturbation, Domination, Oral Sex (Giving), Oral Sex (Receiving), Fellatio, Massage, Masks, Making Home Movies, Leather, Lingerie, Handcuffs / Shackles, Doctor / Nurse Fetish, Candle Wax, Bondage, Arse (Ass) Play, Blindfolds, Role Play, Spanking, Strip Tease, Threesomes, Erotic Chat / E-Mail
dogger1802′s Description: Sexy, dirty confident bi-sexual – looking for dirty chat on line to meeting up with the right person – you must be fun and have a great sense of humour.
dogger1802′s Ideal Partner: anyone who is wanting fun and who knows exactly what they are doing – no time wasters – i love light bondage and being in control. Dressing up , sexy role play etc I can travel and accommodate

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