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MEDIA & BDSM

Media and BDSM

Media & BDSM

Media coverage is extremely important when it comes to the image the world has about any group in society. It may even be decisive. And as for any other group, this is true for the erotic power exchange world as well. Since erotic power exchange is attracting more interest in society, it is only logical the phenomena gets increased media coverage. In addition, the current trend – especially in audiovisual media – to try and cover more eroticism in general contributes extra to this trend.

Journalists trying to cover the subject are faced with various difficulties and complications – the most important being the complexity of the subject as well as the difficulty to find people who feel comfortable with talking about their most intimate emotions in mass media. Next to that, to an outsider it is not easy to understand the cultural differences within the group and the subject takes up quite a bit of research and/or pre-production time as well as space or air time to cover it in a more serious way.

“The scene” does not exist

Despite what general opinion would like people to believe, there is no such thing as “an EPE (or BDSM) scene”. Instead there are different cultures, different sexual preferences and most of all individuals and couples practicing or just fantasizing about power dynamics in an erotic setting. One of the main difficulties is that – as a result of the very individual determination of sexual behavior in general and with that erotic power exchange – it is extremely hard, if not entirely impossible to find common denominators. Hence talking to one or two people will only sketch THEIR views. These may be significantly different from others and are most certainly not THE views or opinions.

First of all, there are very distinct differences in culture, based on sexual preference. Homosexual EPE is very different in many aspects from its heterosexual equivalent. Homosexual men are – in their EPE-emotions – very different from homosexual women and within the heterosexual world the first main difference should be made between the Maledom/femsub (dominant man/submissive woman) and the Femdom(me)/malesub (dominant woman/submissive man) cultures. When concentrating on the heterosexual “world” only, one of the major differences is the fact that the Femdom(me) culture is dominated by women, who have made a profession out of their nature; a phenomena that is almost non-existent in the Maledom/femsub culture (although there are professional submissive women and -albeit extremely few – professional dominant men).

Most of the literature available is about homosexual erotic power exchange, where power dynamics are different, the culture is much outward oriented and – although this a dangerous generalization – generally speaking, more rough. In addition, there are many technical differences between homosexual and heterosexual EPE. Another very important consideration is that sexuality between members of the same sex is entirely different from sexuality between members of the opposite sex. Beyond these major variances, there are many other heterosexual-specific concerns, such as the fact that a heterosexual couple will usually be confronted with having to raise children. It is, therefore, impossible to rely on available literature when it comes to form an undistorted opinion on heterosexual erotic power exchange.

The image of erotic power exchange is, to a large extent, generated by both pornography on one end and one-sided, dysfunction-oriented clinical and scientific research. Hence the picture the media paint – for understandable reasons – is a picture very few erotic power exchange people would recognize. One of the main reasons for this sullied view of EPE is the fact that it is difficult for media to get people to talk about their emotions. The majority of people interviewed – since they are usually the only ones available – are people who are commercially active in the erotic power exchange world – predominantly dominatrixes. These people usually and again understandable, have a one-sided image. Professional EPE-activity is a commercial enterprise with the aim to make profit, not to express the person’s own feelings towards a partner. Since the vast majority of EPE-professionals are dominatrixes, they will attract a very specific type of person, in particular submissive men. Very few of the clients a professional dominatrix has, have an active erotic power exchange relationship with their partner. And, the professionals interviewed have an entirely different agenda. Their motive is not to give unprejudiced information about their subject. Their first objective is to attract (more) clients and the immediate second motive is to make sure they stand out from their colleagues.

A picture based on alternate motives

Unfortunately, the EPE image is predominantly influenced by several elements all of which have ulterior motives. Non of them have had or currently have the objective to communicate unprejudiced information. Let’s make an interesting list of the four most influential factors on the image of erotic power exchange:

Science

The majority of scientific publications on the subject originate from the psychological/psychiatric field. None of these publications deals with the power exchange between healthy, well-adjusted people, capable to make safe, sane, consensual, well-informed and conscious decisions. Instead, all these publications deal with people seeking help (usually from the author) and have been written primarily to advocate either one specific opinion or one specific treatment by one specific therapist. Unfortunately, there is no broad, large scale research available on the phenomena of EPE. It is estimated that as much as 30 percent of the adult population has erotic power exchange fantasies and is (potentially) active in this area. The largest group that has ever been the subject of research is a group from approximately two hundred people from one country. This can hardly be called representative for the world-wide group, hence all conclusions should not be projected on the entire population. Unfortunately, this happens all too frequently.

Furthermore, much of the available scientific research available and quoted, is extremely outdated. This is especially true for politicians, legislators and lawyers in many countries, who will go back and cite research that is at least thirty or forty years old. Whereas no court or scientific body in the world would accept other (semi)medical data that old as a basis for judgment, when it comes to erotic power exchange this is still generally accepted.

Pornography and pseudo-experts

These two groups are mentioned in one header deliberately because pseudo-experts predominantly style themselves on the pictures painted by pornography, sometimes cleverly validating themselves and their views by misquoting scientists. Both pornography and pseudo-experts have only one objective: to sell as many books, articles, magazines or videos and CD’s as they possibly can. Erotic power exchange-related pornography is mainly sold to people who are NOT active in erotic power exchange. Much of what is sold is – unfortunately – quite often mistaken for information, especially by people who are new to the subject. The picture painted is not meant to give information, but instead, is meant to indulge fantasy. In these situations fantasy does not have to become reality, and when it comes to erotic power exchange, hardly ever does fully.

Media

Without making any judgments here, the media plays an important role in the image-building. Next to the difficulties sketched above – the fact that it is indeed extremely difficult to depict a clear image of EPE and the unintentional effect of dominatrixes – it is obvious that excess-oriented journalism does not help and, again, does not have the objective of communicating factual and independent information, but has the objective of selling copy as well as entertaining.

The “community” itself

Even though the various support groups put a lot of effort in trying to inform and educate, their efforts reflect the average lack of experience in mass communication as well as the variety of opinions that even the EPE community itself holds. None of the support groups, not even larger national groups like the USA National Leather Association, have any critical sway in the EPE community, compared to the number of people interested in the subject. This is again the result of both the variety of opinions held as well as the different cultures. Individual subgroups are only just finding out they have a different identity from other like-minded people. This is new and somewhat disturbing to many and it is difficult for groups as well as individuals to find and identify with a “new” identity.

These support groups are small. They do not have one-tenth of the budget, that scientists and especially pornography producers can use. There for it is a very uneven battle, trying to fight the misinformation with little more than a personal computer and a xerox-machine, when resources in the pornography industry are huge.

Finally, there are the well meant efforts of individuals, especially on the Internet, to try and build personal home pages that provide “information”. Such information is usually highly individual (and as such useful for identification purposes) and of little or no relevance for a more general informational approach.The bottom line is that the information/misinformation ratio is about 10:90. It is no wonder the image the outside world has is the wrong image; an image that has very little to do with the day-to-day practice of erotic power exchange.

Author Hans Meijer is the chairman of the Powerotics Foundation, an organisation dedicated to providing quality information about alternative lifestyles.

Author: Hans Meijer
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: WordPress plugin Guest Blogger

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BDSM – A New Sexual Orientation?

The term ‘sexual orientation’ is mostly used about being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transsexual (LGBT). This powerful concept – ‘sexual orientation’ – pioneered courageously by members of the LGBT community, has empowered people, within the last 50 years or so, to think of themselves as not bad, or sick, but just different.

Readers may remember that it is not all that long since homosexuality was considered a form of sickness. Until 1973 Homosexuality was listed in the American Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as a psychopathology: a form of mental illness. The underlying assumption here was that gay people had something wrong with them. While there are of course still individuals who think this, it is no longer generally seen in this way, at least in the USA and UK.

Most people have heard of S&M, or SM (in case you’re one of the few who hasn’t, it stands for Sadism and Masochism). Fewer have heard of D/s (domination and submission), but the most comprehensive acronym which is in general use by those who take part in these activities is BDSM (the B is for bondage). If you Google BDSM you will find a lot of porn websites, some community sites run by members of the BDSM community, sites of suppliers of BDSM gear (fetish clothing, specialist fetters and restraints, whips and so on).

However for those looking for serious research into the prevalence and experience of people who indulge in BDSM with consenting adults, there is not very much around. And yet these practices seem quietly to be sneaking their way into our consciousness, with a growing stream of articles and documentaries which, while they are not serious academic work, are also not purely porn. The internet, TV and mainstream magazines are providing media for people who are perfectly nice, and ‘ordinary’ (whatever that means) to reveal that they get off on BDSM activities. In these articles and TV shows, participants generally don’t seem to feel there’s anything wrong with them, or that they have anything to apologise for about their sexual practices. Having said that, most BDSM-ers feel uncertain about how they might be judged for their activities by, say, employers, friends, health professionals and family. In effect, then, it seems many BDSM-ers think of themselves as not sick, but as having a different sexual orientation.

If we think of BDSM as a sexual orientation then what are the implications of this? The following is a rough list.

  • BDSM is not proof of some kind of emotional damage (e.g. trauma or abusive parenting)
  • People cannot be counselled or otherwise ‘treated’ out of being into BDSM
  • People should not be discriminated against for being into BDSM
  • People are not in some way ‘ill’ if they are into BDSM
  • People are not in some way ‘bad’ if they are into BDSM

Those who do see BDSM as a form of sickness can still find support in the DSM, where activities involving, for example ‘the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one’s partner’ are classified as a paraphilia: a form of mental disorder. But this is a grey area because there is a systematic ambiguity about whether ‘suffering’ or ‘humiliation’ within a mutually consensual roleplay situation is what is meant here. The BDSM players who are on our TV screens, or internet sites, or who are running businesses around BDSM are talking about exactly this mutually consensual game, as opposed to real, non-consensual torture or humiliation.

For therapists who may encounter clients who present with BDSM-related issues, I invite you to consider the bullet points above, and to see if any of these statements conflicts with attitudes you may have held about BDSM. I invite you to entertain the idea of BDSM as a sexual orientation.

Bay Whitaker is a counsellor and partner in the Sheffield based private counselling service, Sheffield Central Counselling http://www.sheffieldcentralcounselling.co.uk. She works with clients on all sorts of topics, and specifically offers counselling to those who are involved in BDSM.

Author: Bay Whitaker
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

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Dominance and submission – a Power Exchange Relationship

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If anyone were to ask what ‘Dominance and submission’ is, they’d receive almost as many answers as people who practice it. Simply stated, though, most would agree that D/s consists of a consensual relationship that is based around a power exchange between two people. One person is the controlling one, known as the Dominant; the other person is the controlled one, and is known as the submissive (note that ‘Dominant’ is usually capitalised and that ‘submissive’ is not). The submissive gives a certain amount of ‘power’ to the Dominant over their lives. This can be as simple as the Dominant telling them what to wear each day, or can be as complex as them having to ask the Dominant for permission to even leave the room. The important thing to note here is that we are talking about consensual relationships. The rights of the submissive are not taken from them, they are given freely during a period of negotiation.

Total Power Exchange

Arguably, the ‘pinnacle’ of D/s relationships is a Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationship, where the submissive gives up all control to the Dominant. Total means just that. The Dominant controls every aspect of their lives from what they wear or eat, to where they go and who they see. There are many that claim to have this, but this Researcher has seen few real examples. It should be emphasised that this is only arguably the pinnacle of D/s relationships. The other side of the coin is that every D/s relationship is just as good no matter how much power is exchanged.

Some Terms

Before we go too much further, let’s define a few terms that exist within the D/s lifestyle:

  • Dominant – The person who has been given some amount of control over the submissive. Other terms describing them are Dom and Domme.
  • submissive – The person who gives some amount of control to the Dominant. Other terms describing them are sub, pet and slave.
  • D/s – Dominance and submission. A power exchange relationship.
  • Lifestyle – Generally those that practice D/s are part of ‘the lifestyle’. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a descriptive term.
  • Vanilla – a non-D/s relationship.
  • 24/7 – Living a D/s relationship 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To put it another way, you are always in a power exchange relationship.
  • Scene – The best way to describe this is to think of a ‘scene’ from a movie. This is one interaction between a Dom and a sub. It doesn’t have to be sexual; all that is required is that a power exchange has taken place. Those not in a 24/7 relationship tend to have ‘scenes’ where the power exchange happens. Even those in 24/7 relationships can have scenes, where the exchange becomes deeper.
  • Top – A person who Dominates for only a scene. If you think of it as a ‘one night stand’ in the D/s lifestyle you wouldn’t be quite correct, but it’s a good start. This doesn’t mean that the Top is a ‘Dominant’, just that the dominate for the one scene.
  • bottom – A person who is submissive for only a scene. This does not mean the person is always a submissive, just that they are submissive for the scene. See ‘Top’.
  • Switch – Someone who switches between the Dominant and submissive roles.
  • Safewords – These are words that are used by either Dom or sub to slow down, or stop a scene. Having negotiated a safeword is very important. It means that if something is happening that makes either person uncomfortable, they can either back off a little, or stop.

A Few Myths

Let’s look at what a D/s relationship isn’t.

D/s Isn’t about Abuse

Though the point has already been made it’s important to emphasise that this article is about a consensual power exchange. Whatever happens to the sub, whatever demands are made of them, they have agreed to this. If they haven’t, if they never asked for this, or they don’t want this, then it’s an abusive relationship and is not the kind of relationship covered by this entry.

submissives Aren’t always Women

If your image of a submissive is a woman, no matter how she’s dressed, think again. There are a great number of male submissives out there.

submissives Aren’t Weak

If someone has to have someone else run their lives for them they must be weak, right? Wrong. Many submissives are quite powerful people outside their D/s relationship: lawyers, managers, business people, police, soldiers and so on. For some, being a submissive in the home, or merely in the bedroom, is a way of escaping from the normal pressures of being in charge.

D/s Isn’t about Kinky Sex

Sure, D/s couples often have kinky sex. Then again, vanilla couples often do too. What defines a D/s relationship has very little to do with the methods used, so much as the power exchange. A simple ‘no’ when a sub asks if they can have a drink can have as much ‘power’ as getting them to kneel.

Entering a D/s Relationship

When two people are about to enter a D/s relationship, the first step is negotiation. This is a period where no power exchange occurs, but is a discussion where the parameters of the relationship are discussed. How much power will the Dominant have over the submissive? What hard limits do both have; that is, to what activities are one or both opposed? What will be the safewords? What will be the period of the relationship?

Often after negotiation a contract is drawn up, setting out all of the parameters discussed. In this way there can be no misunderstandings.

Collars

In most Western marriages, the symbols of the marriage are the wedding rings worn by the happy couple. You can probably think of a collar meaning a similar thing to a wedding ring, although in a D/s relationship it’s more common for only the sub to wear a collar to show that they are owned by or bound to a Dom.

Collars come in all shapes and sizes, from a leather collar that is remarkably similar to that worn by pets, to elegant necklaces that could be worn at the classiest society ball. A collar is a symbol and is therefore as individual as the Dominant and submissive within the D/s relationship.

Why on Earth Would you Go through all This?

It seems a D/s relationship is an awful lot of work, doesn’t it? Negotiation, contracts, safewords before you even get to the relationship itself. Yes, it is a lot of work, but the rewards can be worth it.

At this point it should be noted that a D/s relationship is not for everyone. Most relationships, even vanilla ones, contain power exchanges. In some relationships one partner is always Dominant, in other relationships whoever is Dominant changes almost constantly. That, however, doesn’t mean that the whole relationship should become a D/s one. Some couples only practice D/s in the bedroom, others in the home, others all the time and some never.

Like all relationships, good communication is needed to keep a D/s relationship on track. The difference here, is that it is essential to the success of a D/s relationship. The basis of a D/s relationship is trust. This is not just the trust that neither partner will cheat, but the sort of deep trust where the partners will trust each other with their lives. For the submissive, they need to trust the Dominant with their physical and mental health; to trust that the Dominant will guide and protect them. For the Dominant this means trusting that the submissive is totally truthful with them, giving them all the information they need to make good decisions.

As the communication flows more freely and the trust grows, the entire relationship becomes deeper and more fulfilling. This also applies to a vanilla relationship, but there isn’t necessarily the same impetus to keep communication flowing.

Traps and Pitfalls

The submissive gives power to the Dominant. This means the submissive can open themselves to abuse. This risk can be lessened by keeping the following in mind. They’re not bad guidelines for vanilla relationships either:

  • Don’t trust too easily. Trust is earned. Before giving someone power over you, make sure they can be trusted. Take time to learn about the person.
  • Go slowly. Don’t be impatient for it all to happen at once. Take it in small steps.
  • Be honest. Don’t say things just to please your partner. If you don’t like something, or are unsure, say so. By the same token, if you like it a lot, say so.
  • If there is the smallest hint of abuse, back off. No matter how good your partner is in other areas, if they are abusive, leave. Sometimes we do hurt others by mistake, but if there is obvious abusive behaviour, either mental or physical, then leave.
  • Remember that everyone is human, and thus can make mistakes. Don’t let a mistake ruin the relationship. Instead, talk about it openly, and try to learn something from it to help the relationship grow.

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Bondage for Beginners: What the "act" is All About

By: David Tottenham

bondage

BDSM is a pretty compact acronym which stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. BDSM in general involves a variety of sexual practices and relationships.

For this, however, let us try to focus on the “B” word; bondage. What exactly is it about getting handcuffed which turns some people on? If your sex life is lagging, is bondage really an effective way to add some spice into your love play? Read on to find out more…

When Bound is Not Necessarily Battered

First up, here’s a quick definition of bondage. From the perspective of BDSM, bondage involves tying up or restraining someone to induce sexual pleasure.

There are a few quick facts that you need to know about bondage if you haven’t tried it yet. No matter what your sexual orientation is, you might just be turned on by the sight of your partner with his or her hands cuffed to the bed posts. Perhaps it’s the novelty of the act of bondage, but it can also be the thought of mastering your control over your partner which proves to be a huge turn on.

Another thing that you need to know about bondage is that it is not necessarily the violent nature of the act which provides a strong erotic appeal for most people. Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end of bondage discipline, this will allow you to get lost in a world where your sexual fantasies will come into play.

Bondage Sex Toys for Beginners

Now that you have an idea about the appeal that bondage has to some people, what are the beginner sex toys that you can use to introduce some BDSM into your love play with your partner?

The most basic bondage sex toys that you can try out as a beginner include handcuffs, erection rings and nipple clamps. For the mid-level to advanced level of BDSM, you can graduate to the more sophisticated bondage sex toys which include a full bedroom bondage or fetish kit, spanking paddles, whips, sex furniture, love swings, hammocks and electro stimulation toys.

If you want to up the ante in your sex life, bondage is definitely the way to go. Not only will you be able to fulfill your deepest, darkest sexual fantasies – but you and your partner will be able to connect on a more intimate level in the bedroom that is bound to add that extra spice to your sex life.

About the Author:

David Tottenham works for the Utopia Supplies sex shop, a UK-based online sex shop which stocks thousands of high quality sex toys.

Something above take your fancy? Take a look at the Utopia Supplies bondage section, where you will find a large range of bondage equipment including cock rings, whips, restraints and more

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Sexual Fetish Addiction – Treatment and Issues in Society

By: Emma James MABNLP, MATLTA, MAHYP, Dip FTST

Something which is very prevalent in our society today is the fact that we have to hide our preferences which appear to be socially unacceptable. Anything which is deemed to be “deviant” is then assumed to be not “normal” and therefore should be hidden.

This in itself then creates a behavior which is secretive and creates a feeling of anticipation which in itself is then felt as exhilarating and something which is breaking the rules especially if that person has a life where they feel they have to conform.

Sometimes the issues are not necessarily with the client and does lead us to question whether it is in fact society which has the problem and not client, particularly if the sexual fetish is not harmful to self, others, a problem financially and is not feeling like a compulsion or addiction. Yet, I still get enquiries and see clients who feel they “should not” have the need or the want to indulge in something they enjoy purely on the basis it is not socially acceptable.

However, when a sexual fetish becomes an issue, is obviously when it does become obsessive, an addiction, harmful to ones self or to another or others. Additionally there is the issue of whether the client can afford it, it is encroaching on their relationships or getting in the way of their lifestyle or future.

As you well know, the variance of sexual fetishes is never ending and may be from apparently mundane attributes which we might never see as sexually arousing through to better known terms of experiencing that one preference which somehow fulfills our needs.

The need for dominance, being subservient, visual or tactile fetishes like tights or pantyhose, physical fetishes like wrestling or female muscle worship, the sexual anticipation of visiting massage parlors or hiring high end escorts and so many others which vary and in a way give us something which we feel give us what we need in no other way anything else can. The point is – there should be no judgment as each of us in some way have a preference in our sexual makeup just same as preferring blondes, brunettes, short, tall, thin etc. It is just that those preferences have been deemed as “acceptable” by not only society but also the press.

When a client decides they need to deal with this sexual fetish, then the first step is to establish whether or not they need to in fact lose it altogether. Is it something which feels out of control?

The problem is that if ultimately you do not want to let it go altogether, then no treatment will work. No doctor, psychologist or any other therapist will be able to help if in fact there is resistance at some level in letting the fetish go. So, the first thing we have to do is to decide if you do in fact want to completely lose it, or in fact you want to keep it under control and be something you might like to indulge in occasionally instead of it taking over your life. That way – if there is agreement at some level, then you are able to conduct therapy effectively.

Some of the issues associated with fetishes are when they have in fact become an addiction. A continual need to have that feeling fulfilled which then takes over so much of your mental space and energy it is difficult to focus on any other area of your life.

Again, this is easy to deal with and with a combination of NLP, TLT and Hypnotherapy, depending on the need of the client, the compulsion and overriding need starts to reduce and then disappear.

One thing so many therapists forget about is that you are now creating a very large empty gulf and if in fact you do not gain agreement from the client as to how in fact to full that gap then the fetish or addiction/compulsion can then come back as it is the only thing which will full the void.

Also – fetishes which are not wanted can also be a product of other parts of the self which have not been developed or are formed by past life experience or learned behaviour in some way. For instance, a client who required severe domination to the extent of being cut and experience blood letting had in fact formed the connection of release and that pain from when he was young and had been involved in a car accident resulting in multiple fractures and severe pain. The pain then turned into a kind of “rush” as he put it and a release in a way and then he began to seek that same feeling from other avenues. The problem had begun when he needed to be cut and experience the pain to that degree which he knew was taking him into a place which was not beneficial for him. That is when he contacted me.

Some clients decide on something which is better for them like a renewed interest in self, doing something more productive for themselves or maybe taking part in another sexual activity which is less harmful or distracting for the client and they do not have the same compulsion towards.

The approach I have with clients is somewhat different from other therapists as we look for the connections and what the client is gaining from the fetish and what it gives them and find another way of giving them the same feeling of pleasure, belonging, elation, anticipation, release that would be missing and possibly create another compulsion if not dealt with.

So many therapists claim to be able to deal with fetishes but without understanding the client or understanding fetish and with the belief that a set treatment will “cure” them of their terrible affliction! I have to say that as yet, no one has yet shocked me nor have they presented anything other than a logical need or want based on their life experience and current requirements in order for them to feel whole.

So, if your preferences/fetishes have become unmanageable in some way then do seek help but first look at the reasons you are about to deal with and ask yourself if it is because you are looking for an apparent social acceptance if it is not hurting anyone else or yourself in any way?

If you would like more information about sexual fetishes and addictions then please go to:

www.emmajames.net

or email me at emma@emmajamesnlp.co.uk

About the Author:

Leading UK therapist with many years of research and patient results in eating disorders and weight management. Also, Emma James is a twice World Champion and current World Record holder and coaches many sports professionals in producing World winning results – just as she has proved it herself.

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Top Ten Fetishes You Will Wonder About

Meow!Some fetishes are crazy but it is true that they exist. Men and women are sexual animals who derive pleasures from various avenues. Here are some ten fetishes which are top on the list. It is good to gauge your degree of fixation by reading about other people. During a survey carried out recently the following was revealed. Number ten on the list concerns stomachs. Males and females admitted that taut tummies drive them crazy. They said they will never be caught dating a person who has loose tummy. However some men admitted that they love women with a teensy-weensy tummy to help them release their sexual urge on the woman’s tummy. Otherwise his experience would not be enjoyable.

Number nine among the ten fetishes concerns body piercing. There are people with an obsession about tongues, nipples, penises, eyebrows and belly buttons. They would not get turned on by a person without these or more body piercing. To them it is not only beautiful but prerequisite. Men love material such as rubber, leather, latex and vinyl. Actually they do not love the feel but the pornographic quality the material gives to the act of love making. Men will always have a fixation with a “bad girl” look even though they settle down with a “nice woman”. They find it teasing to watch a woman walking around in something tight and shiny. To some, the fetish goes as far as ordering their girlfriends to change their wardrobe to latex and leather attire only.

Among the fetishes, number seven concerns submission and domination especially in bed. There are some men who love their sexual encounters better if the woman orders them around like slaves. They are smacked, spanked and even penetrated with a strap-on. These variety of men enjoy being submissive to the women. I guess they are just tired of dominating all the time. Number six talks about something you are familiar with. Many people have a fetish with hand and feet. Some men only date women with beautiful toes and feet. This is because they love to bite, suck, lick and kiss their women’s feet. Crazy as it may sound, some women exclusively climax on sucking a man’s finger as though it was his penis. Number five on the list is about men’s crazy obsession with red lipstick and long, red-painted fingernails. It is a thing of the 1980s but it makes them feel like they are having adulterous sex which is exciting.

Men are so much into pigtails, braids and ponytails. Hair is a great fetish is among the ten fetishes. Men prefer dating younger women and dating one with a pigtail makes them feel like their desires are fulfilled. They too love the way the hair is tied up such that it resembles a whip. They then demand their women to whip them with the tied hair and it turns them on ultimately. Some women have a fetish for bald heads. They love to caress the bald head during a passionate embrace. Fetish number three involves water. Some people admitted to having enjoyed sex when there was some running water at the background. It could be rain or the shower. Number one on the list is voyeurism and exhibitionism. Many men need to see sex being in performance in order to enjoy their sexual encounter. They have to be watching pornography or erotic movies to orgasm.

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Fetish: for Your Pleasure

While some think that fetishes are sexual obsessions the truth is that these days a fetish is anything that heightens your sexual experience – even more than usual. It could be getting gagged and bound or having your naughty little romp video taped, it could be dressing up in leather or having sex with a complete stranger… even your love of women in heels could be painted with the ultra sexy fetish brush.

Feet and Toes Fetish

Maybe Madonna had it right when she said; “Shoes are better than sex because they last longer,” but according to the largest global study of sexual kinks ever under taken, there are a lot of men and women who don’t have a problem combining the two. This fetish was voted one of the world’s most favourite with thousands touting their love of foot jobs and toe sucking proving that putting your foot down can create new sexual delights… which leads us to the next fetish on our list…

Trampling Fetish

If you’ve ever had someone walk on you during sex then you’ve been trampled on and if you haven’t tried it then give it a go – it’s exhilarating for those who get off on domination. The woman wears high heels while she walks over the man’s chest, throat, stomach, and crotch. Funny thing is that the man will barley move even when the woman is standing on his crotch with spiked heels. The men love the idea of being under a woman’s heel and the woman loves being on top. It’s a win-win situation where everyone gets off!

Domination Fetish

Speaking of domination… this fetish is all about submission – there’s something about having power and being overpowered that sends tingles to all the right places. This fetish has become so popular that it can’t really be classed as underground anymore with more and more clubs organising special domination nights. Using props like whips, chains, handcuffs and gags, domination lovers get a thrill out of being the dominant one or losing control by being controlled.

Latex and Leather Fetish

Seeing a hot body adorned in tight leather or latex could quite possibly be one of the sexiest sights and lucky for those who love this theme as it has an enormous underground culture. There are retail stores where you not only purchase anything and everything latex and leather related, you can also find out about latex parties where you will be surrounded by people dressed in leather and latex all night long.

Uniform Fetish

Who doesn’t go crazy for a man in uniform or a woman dressed in a cheerleader’s outfit? This is a very popular fetish for men and women alike and it really brings the fantasy and fetish world together for a truly naughty night. This fetish is fairly broad and can be taken to any degree you feel comfortable with. A female doctor who seduces her patient or a medieval knight who knows how to use his sword – the options are only limited by your cheeky imagination.

Messy Food Fetish

When the batteries run out on the vibrator what’s a girl to do? Well this fetish might offer some solutions as it involves doing all sorts of things with everything from bananas to jelly. Whether it’s playing with it, smearing it all over the body or having someone else lick it all off, the messy food fetish involves all sorts of bits and pieces you can find at your local grocery store. The tame at heart will probably stick to the chocolate body sauce which is just as delicious in more ways than one.

Balloon Fetish

This one is a little unusual and so we just had to include it! This fetish involves being turned on by balloons; the smell, the noise, the excitement of not knowing when they are going to pop. People who enjoy this fetish are known as ‘looners’ and just hearing a hottie huffing and puffing on a balloon is enough to drive them over the edge.

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Profile of the Week – green_eyesangel

green_eyesangel
[From Bondage-Radio Members-Area]

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From: San Diego County, California, United States
Sex: female looking for Female
Age: 29
Drinks: occasionally
Smokes: no
Build: Average
Ethnic Origin: Caucasian (white)
Children: no
Height: 5′ 5″ (165cm)
Seeking: 1 on 1 sex
Adult Interests: Web Camming, Cyber Sex, Swinging, Dogging, Exhibition / Voyeurism, Sex Toys, Anal Sex (Giving), Anal Sex (Receiving), Dildos, Power Play, Masturbation, Domination, Oral Sex (Giving), Oral Sex (Receiving), Cunnilingus, Massage, Making Home Movies, Leather, Lingerie, Fisting, Handcuffs / Shackles, High Heels, Anal Toys, Candle Wax, Breast / Nipple Clamps, Bondage, Arse (Ass) Play, Biting, Blindfolds, Role Play, Spanking, Strip Tease, Threesomes, Erotic Chat / E-Mail
green_eyesangel’s Description:
green_eyesangel’s Ideal Partner:

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Profile of the Week – ashleykisser08

ashleykisser08

[From Bondage-Radio Members-Area] 200901232032.jpg 200901232033.jpg 200901232035.jpg

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From: Southern California, California, United States
Sex: female looking for Male
Age: 24
Drinks: occasionally
Smokes: yes
Build: Toned
Ethnic Origin: Caucasian (white)
Children: no
Height: 5′ 7″ (170cm)
Seeking: 1 on 1 sex
Adult Interests: Web Camming, Swinging, Dogging, BDSM, Exhibition / Voyeurism, Discreet Relationship, Sex Toys, Anal Sex (Giving), Anal Sex (Receiving), Dildos, Transvestism, Rubber, Sadism, Power Play, Masturbation, Domination, Oral Sex (Receiving), Fellatio, Cunnilingus, Massage, Masks, Making Home Movies, Leather, Latex, Gangbangs, Handcuffs / Shackles, Cross Dressing, Scat, Chains, Candle Wax, Bondage, Arse (Ass) Play, Blindfolds, Spanking, Strip Tease, Tantric Sex, Threesomes, Watersports
ashleykisser08′s Description:
im sexy…hot and pretty
ashleykisser08′s Ideal Partner:
someone to chat with.

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Profile of the Week – PeachCOBLER

PeachCOBLER

[From Bondage-Radio Members-Area]200901232022.jpg 200901232023.jpg 200901232024.jpg

From: Arkansas, Arkansas, United States
Sex: female looking for Male, Female, Couple M+M, Couple F+F, Group
Age: 18
Drinks: never
Smokes: no
Build: Hour Glass
Ethnic Origin: Mixed Race
Children: no
Height: 5′ 6″ (168cm)
Seeking: 1 on 1 sex
Adult Interests: Web Camming, Cyber Sex, Swinging, Discreet Relationship, Dildos, Masturbation, Domination, Oral Sex (Giving), Oral Sex (Receiving), Massage, Making Home Movies, Lingerie, Gangbangs, Handcuffs / Shackles, Breast / Nipple Clamps, Spanking, Strip Tease, Threesomes
PeachCOBLER’s Description:
Hey whats up.
My name is Isabella
and I am German and Argentinian
which is white and Hispanic :)
I am 117 pounds and i am 5’6
I love music and poetry I am
crazy and I love to Party :)
PeachCOBLER’s Ideal Partner:
I am looking for picture exchange and a fun kinky time Im down for anything but Please don’t make it boring :)

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Profile of the Week – dogger1802

Bondage-Radio Members-Area:
dogger1802 200805181018

From: Coventry, West Midlands, United Kingdom
Sex: female looking for Male, Female, Couple M+F, Couple F+F, Group
Age: 30
Drinks: occasionally
Smokes: no
Build: Slim
Ethnic Origin: Caucasian (white)
Children: yes
Height: 5′ 9″ (175cm)
Seeking: discreet relationship
Adult Interests: Web Camming, Cyber Sex, Dogging, Exhibition / Voyeurism, Discreet Relationship, Sex Toys, Dildos, Sadism, Masturbation, Domination, Oral Sex (Giving), Oral Sex (Receiving), Fellatio, Massage, Masks, Making Home Movies, Leather, Lingerie, Handcuffs / Shackles, Doctor / Nurse Fetish, Candle Wax, Bondage, Arse (Ass) Play, Blindfolds, Role Play, Spanking, Strip Tease, Threesomes, Erotic Chat / E-Mail
dogger1802′s Description: Sexy, dirty confident bi-sexual – looking for dirty chat on line to meeting up with the right person – you must be fun and have a great sense of humour.
dogger1802′s Ideal Partner: anyone who is wanting fun and who knows exactly what they are doing – no time wasters – i love light bondage and being in control. Dressing up , sexy role play etc I can travel and accommodate

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