Archive for Bondage

DominaDoll’s Friday Night Chat – Talk Show

Posted on January 6, 2011 by Domina Doll

DominaDoll

Every Wednesday afternoon or evening we will be recording a podcast for the following Friday evening to be played on BondageRadio.com.

We are looking to the community for ideas on Topics that are of interest to you. Anything goes, as long as its legal… Even then, we will discuss it.

Also, if you are interested in being interviewed on a show about your opinion, your specialized kink, or a subject that you are well versed in, please let us know.

We are looking to interview artists, philosophers, kinksters, fetishists, sexuality educators, people who work in the sex industry, Dom/mes, Tops, Sadists, Masochists, Submissive types and Hedonists.

This means YOU! Drop us a line if you are interested!

[From DominaDoll's Friday Night Chat - Talk Show - Bondage-Radio - FetLife]

Categories : Events, Featured, News

MEDIA & BDSM

Posted on July 27, 2010 by Jarl Mezentius
Media and BDSM

Media & BDSM

Media coverage is extremely important when it comes to the image the world has about any group in society. It may even be decisive. And as for any other group, this is true for the erotic power exchange world as well. Since erotic power exchange is attracting more interest in society, it is only logical the phenomena gets increased media coverage. In addition, the current trend – especially in audiovisual media – to try and cover more eroticism in general contributes extra to this trend.

Journalists trying to cover the subject are faced with various difficulties and complications – the most important being the complexity of the subject as well as the difficulty to find people who feel comfortable with talking about their most intimate emotions in mass media. Next to that, to an outsider it is not easy to understand the cultural differences within the group and the subject takes up quite a bit of research and/or pre-production time as well as space or air time to cover it in a more serious way.

“The scene” does not exist

Despite what general opinion would like people to believe, there is no such thing as “an EPE (or BDSM) scene”. Instead there are different cultures, different sexual preferences and most of all individuals and couples practicing or just fantasizing about power dynamics in an erotic setting. One of the main difficulties is that – as a result of the very individual determination of sexual behavior in general and with that erotic power exchange – it is extremely hard, if not entirely impossible to find common denominators. Hence talking to one or two people will only sketch THEIR views. These may be significantly different from others and are most certainly not THE views or opinions.

First of all, there are very distinct differences in culture, based on sexual preference. Homosexual EPE is very different in many aspects from its heterosexual equivalent. Homosexual men are – in their EPE-emotions – very different from homosexual women and within the heterosexual world the first main difference should be made between the Maledom/femsub (dominant man/submissive woman) and the Femdom(me)/malesub (dominant woman/submissive man) cultures. When concentrating on the heterosexual “world” only, one of the major differences is the fact that the Femdom(me) culture is dominated by women, who have made a profession out of their nature; a phenomena that is almost non-existent in the Maledom/femsub culture (although there are professional submissive women and -albeit extremely few – professional dominant men).

Most of the literature available is about homosexual erotic power exchange, where power dynamics are different, the culture is much outward oriented and – although this a dangerous generalization – generally speaking, more rough. In addition, there are many technical differences between homosexual and heterosexual EPE. Another very important consideration is that sexuality between members of the same sex is entirely different from sexuality between members of the opposite sex. Beyond these major variances, there are many other heterosexual-specific concerns, such as the fact that a heterosexual couple will usually be confronted with having to raise children. It is, therefore, impossible to rely on available literature when it comes to form an undistorted opinion on heterosexual erotic power exchange.

The image of erotic power exchange is, to a large extent, generated by both pornography on one end and one-sided, dysfunction-oriented clinical and scientific research. Hence the picture the media paint – for understandable reasons – is a picture very few erotic power exchange people would recognize. One of the main reasons for this sullied view of EPE is the fact that it is difficult for media to get people to talk about their emotions. The majority of people interviewed – since they are usually the only ones available – are people who are commercially active in the erotic power exchange world – predominantly dominatrixes. These people usually and again understandable, have a one-sided image. Professional EPE-activity is a commercial enterprise with the aim to make profit, not to express the person’s own feelings towards a partner. Since the vast majority of EPE-professionals are dominatrixes, they will attract a very specific type of person, in particular submissive men. Very few of the clients a professional dominatrix has, have an active erotic power exchange relationship with their partner. And, the professionals interviewed have an entirely different agenda. Their motive is not to give unprejudiced information about their subject. Their first objective is to attract (more) clients and the immediate second motive is to make sure they stand out from their colleagues.

A picture based on alternate motives

Unfortunately, the EPE image is predominantly influenced by several elements all of which have ulterior motives. Non of them have had or currently have the objective to communicate unprejudiced information. Let’s make an interesting list of the four most influential factors on the image of erotic power exchange:

Science

The majority of scientific publications on the subject originate from the psychological/psychiatric field. None of these publications deals with the power exchange between healthy, well-adjusted people, capable to make safe, sane, consensual, well-informed and conscious decisions. Instead, all these publications deal with people seeking help (usually from the author) and have been written primarily to advocate either one specific opinion or one specific treatment by one specific therapist. Unfortunately, there is no broad, large scale research available on the phenomena of EPE. It is estimated that as much as 30 percent of the adult population has erotic power exchange fantasies and is (potentially) active in this area. The largest group that has ever been the subject of research is a group from approximately two hundred people from one country. This can hardly be called representative for the world-wide group, hence all conclusions should not be projected on the entire population. Unfortunately, this happens all too frequently.

Furthermore, much of the available scientific research available and quoted, is extremely outdated. This is especially true for politicians, legislators and lawyers in many countries, who will go back and cite research that is at least thirty or forty years old. Whereas no court or scientific body in the world would accept other (semi)medical data that old as a basis for judgment, when it comes to erotic power exchange this is still generally accepted.

Pornography and pseudo-experts

These two groups are mentioned in one header deliberately because pseudo-experts predominantly style themselves on the pictures painted by pornography, sometimes cleverly validating themselves and their views by misquoting scientists. Both pornography and pseudo-experts have only one objective: to sell as many books, articles, magazines or videos and CD’s as they possibly can. Erotic power exchange-related pornography is mainly sold to people who are NOT active in erotic power exchange. Much of what is sold is – unfortunately – quite often mistaken for information, especially by people who are new to the subject. The picture painted is not meant to give information, but instead, is meant to indulge fantasy. In these situations fantasy does not have to become reality, and when it comes to erotic power exchange, hardly ever does fully.

Media

Without making any judgments here, the media plays an important role in the image-building. Next to the difficulties sketched above – the fact that it is indeed extremely difficult to depict a clear image of EPE and the unintentional effect of dominatrixes – it is obvious that excess-oriented journalism does not help and, again, does not have the objective of communicating factual and independent information, but has the objective of selling copy as well as entertaining.

The “community” itself

Even though the various support groups put a lot of effort in trying to inform and educate, their efforts reflect the average lack of experience in mass communication as well as the variety of opinions that even the EPE community itself holds. None of the support groups, not even larger national groups like the USA National Leather Association, have any critical sway in the EPE community, compared to the number of people interested in the subject. This is again the result of both the variety of opinions held as well as the different cultures. Individual subgroups are only just finding out they have a different identity from other like-minded people. This is new and somewhat disturbing to many and it is difficult for groups as well as individuals to find and identify with a “new” identity.

These support groups are small. They do not have one-tenth of the budget, that scientists and especially pornography producers can use. There for it is a very uneven battle, trying to fight the misinformation with little more than a personal computer and a xerox-machine, when resources in the pornography industry are huge.

Finally, there are the well meant efforts of individuals, especially on the Internet, to try and build personal home pages that provide “information”. Such information is usually highly individual (and as such useful for identification purposes) and of little or no relevance for a more general informational approach.The bottom line is that the information/misinformation ratio is about 10:90. It is no wonder the image the outside world has is the wrong image; an image that has very little to do with the day-to-day practice of erotic power exchange.

Author Hans Meijer is the chairman of the Powerotics Foundation, an organisation dedicated to providing quality information about alternative lifestyles.

Author: Hans Meijer
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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Categories : Featured, Relationships

BDSM – A New Sexual Orientation?

Posted on July 26, 2010 by Bay Whitaker

The term ‘sexual orientation’ is mostly used about being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transsexual (LGBT). This powerful concept – ‘sexual orientation’ – pioneered courageously by members of the LGBT community, has empowered people, within the last 50 years or so, to think of themselves as not bad, or sick, but just different.

Readers may remember that it is not all that long since homosexuality was considered a form of sickness. Until 1973 Homosexuality was listed in the American Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as a psychopathology: a form of mental illness. The underlying assumption here was that gay people had something wrong with them. While there are of course still individuals who think this, it is no longer generally seen in this way, at least in the USA and UK.

Most people have heard of S&M, or SM (in case you’re one of the few who hasn’t, it stands for Sadism and Masochism). Fewer have heard of D/s (domination and submission), but the most comprehensive acronym which is in general use by those who take part in these activities is BDSM (the B is for bondage). If you Google BDSM you will find a lot of porn websites, some community sites run by members of the BDSM community, sites of suppliers of BDSM gear (fetish clothing, specialist fetters and restraints, whips and so on).

However for those looking for serious research into the prevalence and experience of people who indulge in BDSM with consenting adults, there is not very much around. And yet these practices seem quietly to be sneaking their way into our consciousness, with a growing stream of articles and documentaries which, while they are not serious academic work, are also not purely porn. The internet, TV and mainstream magazines are providing media for people who are perfectly nice, and ‘ordinary’ (whatever that means) to reveal that they get off on BDSM activities. In these articles and TV shows, participants generally don’t seem to feel there’s anything wrong with them, or that they have anything to apologise for about their sexual practices. Having said that, most BDSM-ers feel uncertain about how they might be judged for their activities by, say, employers, friends, health professionals and family. In effect, then, it seems many BDSM-ers think of themselves as not sick, but as having a different sexual orientation.

If we think of BDSM as a sexual orientation then what are the implications of this? The following is a rough list.

  • BDSM is not proof of some kind of emotional damage (e.g. trauma or abusive parenting)
  • People cannot be counselled or otherwise ‘treated’ out of being into BDSM
  • People should not be discriminated against for being into BDSM
  • People are not in some way ‘ill’ if they are into BDSM
  • People are not in some way ‘bad’ if they are into BDSM

Those who do see BDSM as a form of sickness can still find support in the DSM, where activities involving, for example ‘the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one’s partner’ are classified as a paraphilia: a form of mental disorder. But this is a grey area because there is a systematic ambiguity about whether ‘suffering’ or ‘humiliation’ within a mutually consensual roleplay situation is what is meant here. The BDSM players who are on our TV screens, or internet sites, or who are running businesses around BDSM are talking about exactly this mutually consensual game, as opposed to real, non-consensual torture or humiliation.

For therapists who may encounter clients who present with BDSM-related issues, I invite you to consider the bullet points above, and to see if any of these statements conflicts with attitudes you may have held about BDSM. I invite you to entertain the idea of BDSM as a sexual orientation.

Bay Whitaker is a counsellor and partner in the Sheffield based private counselling service, Sheffield Central Counselling http://www.sheffieldcentralcounselling.co.uk. She works with clients on all sorts of topics, and specifically offers counselling to those who are involved in BDSM.

Author: Bay Whitaker
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Categories : Featured, Sexuality

Metal Handcuffs in Your Bedroom – Pros and Cons

Posted on July 20, 2010 by

So you want to add something spicy in your bedroom activities? An easy and affordable way is bondage, and if you have been here for a while you probably already are thinking about police handcuffs. You’ve seen it in the movie, in the movie, right. People are playing with cuffs in lot of classical films so this is already some kind of cliche, but nevertheless it’s worth trying for yourself. If you’ve also seen some bdsm erotic video you should have mentioned many Masters and Mistresses using the leather handcuffs. Why is that? Bear in mind that metal handcuffs are not an instant sex booster, and it’s better to think it through before purchasing metal handcuffs.

Pros

They look really sexy and if you show them to your partner there will be no misunderstanding about your intensions. Metal handcuffs are extremely easy to handle and store and they will last forever.You probably could leave them as part of your inheritance. Now handcuffs are simply a must have for anyone who’s into BDSM or just kinky sex. You can argue, but it’s a symbol, not just a metal restraint.

Cons

Metal can hurt skin tissue or cut the blood circulation if you push the cuffs too hard and leave them locked tight. Check if handcuffs have double locking system and use. Cuffs, especially the ones used by police are made of high quality metal so loosing a key is a really bad idea. Waiting for a locksmith naked and bound is not the best way of spending Friday night. Always have a spare key stored in a secure, easy to reach place.

So…

I recommend using metal handcuffs for role-play and avoid using them in the sessions where the bound partner has to stay or move in inconvenient poses for a long time. Remember, safety is one of the main issues in any BDSM related activity.

Tips that will help you choose handcuffs.

Author: Johan Tyros
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Low-volume PCB maker

Categories : Sexuality

Dominance and submission – a Power Exchange Relationship

Posted on April 27, 2010 by Jarl Mezentius

201004271356.jpg
If anyone were to ask what ‘Dominance and submission’ is, they’d receive almost as many answers as people who practice it. Simply stated, though, most would agree that D/s consists of a consensual relationship that is based around a power exchange between two people. One person is the controlling one, known as the Dominant; the other person is the controlled one, and is known as the submissive (note that ‘Dominant’ is usually capitalised and that ‘submissive’ is not). The submissive gives a certain amount of ‘power’ to the Dominant over their lives. This can be as simple as the Dominant telling them what to wear each day, or can be as complex as them having to ask the Dominant for permission to even leave the room. The important thing to note here is that we are talking about consensual relationships. The rights of the submissive are not taken from them, they are given freely during a period of negotiation.

Total Power Exchange

Arguably, the ‘pinnacle’ of D/s relationships is a Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationship, where the submissive gives up all control to the Dominant. Total means just that. The Dominant controls every aspect of their lives from what they wear or eat, to where they go and who they see. There are many that claim to have this, but this Researcher has seen few real examples. It should be emphasised that this is only arguably the pinnacle of D/s relationships. The other side of the coin is that every D/s relationship is just as good no matter how much power is exchanged.

Some Terms

Before we go too much further, let’s define a few terms that exist within the D/s lifestyle:

  • Dominant – The person who has been given some amount of control over the submissive. Other terms describing them are Dom and Domme.
  • submissive – The person who gives some amount of control to the Dominant. Other terms describing them are sub, pet and slave.
  • D/s – Dominance and submission. A power exchange relationship.
  • Lifestyle – Generally those that practice D/s are part of ‘the lifestyle’. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a descriptive term.
  • Vanilla – a non-D/s relationship.
  • 24/7 – Living a D/s relationship 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To put it another way, you are always in a power exchange relationship.
  • Scene – The best way to describe this is to think of a ‘scene’ from a movie. This is one interaction between a Dom and a sub. It doesn’t have to be sexual; all that is required is that a power exchange has taken place. Those not in a 24/7 relationship tend to have ‘scenes’ where the power exchange happens. Even those in 24/7 relationships can have scenes, where the exchange becomes deeper.
  • Top – A person who Dominates for only a scene. If you think of it as a ‘one night stand’ in the D/s lifestyle you wouldn’t be quite correct, but it’s a good start. This doesn’t mean that the Top is a ‘Dominant’, just that the dominate for the one scene.
  • bottom – A person who is submissive for only a scene. This does not mean the person is always a submissive, just that they are submissive for the scene. See ‘Top’.
  • Switch – Someone who switches between the Dominant and submissive roles.
  • Safewords – These are words that are used by either Dom or sub to slow down, or stop a scene. Having negotiated a safeword is very important. It means that if something is happening that makes either person uncomfortable, they can either back off a little, or stop.

A Few Myths

Let’s look at what a D/s relationship isn’t.

D/s Isn’t about Abuse

Though the point has already been made it’s important to emphasise that this article is about a consensual power exchange. Whatever happens to the sub, whatever demands are made of them, they have agreed to this. If they haven’t, if they never asked for this, or they don’t want this, then it’s an abusive relationship and is not the kind of relationship covered by this entry.

submissives Aren’t always Women

If your image of a submissive is a woman, no matter how she’s dressed, think again. There are a great number of male submissives out there.

submissives Aren’t Weak

If someone has to have someone else run their lives for them they must be weak, right? Wrong. Many submissives are quite powerful people outside their D/s relationship: lawyers, managers, business people, police, soldiers and so on. For some, being a submissive in the home, or merely in the bedroom, is a way of escaping from the normal pressures of being in charge.

D/s Isn’t about Kinky Sex

Sure, D/s couples often have kinky sex. Then again, vanilla couples often do too. What defines a D/s relationship has very little to do with the methods used, so much as the power exchange. A simple ‘no’ when a sub asks if they can have a drink can have as much ‘power’ as getting them to kneel.

Entering a D/s Relationship

When two people are about to enter a D/s relationship, the first step is negotiation. This is a period where no power exchange occurs, but is a discussion where the parameters of the relationship are discussed. How much power will the Dominant have over the submissive? What hard limits do both have; that is, to what activities are one or both opposed? What will be the safewords? What will be the period of the relationship?

Often after negotiation a contract is drawn up, setting out all of the parameters discussed. In this way there can be no misunderstandings.

Collars

In most Western marriages, the symbols of the marriage are the wedding rings worn by the happy couple. You can probably think of a collar meaning a similar thing to a wedding ring, although in a D/s relationship it’s more common for only the sub to wear a collar to show that they are owned by or bound to a Dom.

Collars come in all shapes and sizes, from a leather collar that is remarkably similar to that worn by pets, to elegant necklaces that could be worn at the classiest society ball. A collar is a symbol and is therefore as individual as the Dominant and submissive within the D/s relationship.

Why on Earth Would you Go through all This?

It seems a D/s relationship is an awful lot of work, doesn’t it? Negotiation, contracts, safewords before you even get to the relationship itself. Yes, it is a lot of work, but the rewards can be worth it.

At this point it should be noted that a D/s relationship is not for everyone. Most relationships, even vanilla ones, contain power exchanges. In some relationships one partner is always Dominant, in other relationships whoever is Dominant changes almost constantly. That, however, doesn’t mean that the whole relationship should become a D/s one. Some couples only practice D/s in the bedroom, others in the home, others all the time and some never.

Like all relationships, good communication is needed to keep a D/s relationship on track. The difference here, is that it is essential to the success of a D/s relationship. The basis of a D/s relationship is trust. This is not just the trust that neither partner will cheat, but the sort of deep trust where the partners will trust each other with their lives. For the submissive, they need to trust the Dominant with their physical and mental health; to trust that the Dominant will guide and protect them. For the Dominant this means trusting that the submissive is totally truthful with them, giving them all the information they need to make good decisions.

As the communication flows more freely and the trust grows, the entire relationship becomes deeper and more fulfilling. This also applies to a vanilla relationship, but there isn’t necessarily the same impetus to keep communication flowing.

Traps and Pitfalls

The submissive gives power to the Dominant. This means the submissive can open themselves to abuse. This risk can be lessened by keeping the following in mind. They’re not bad guidelines for vanilla relationships either:

  • Don’t trust too easily. Trust is earned. Before giving someone power over you, make sure they can be trusted. Take time to learn about the person.
  • Go slowly. Don’t be impatient for it all to happen at once. Take it in small steps.
  • Be honest. Don’t say things just to please your partner. If you don’t like something, or are unsure, say so. By the same token, if you like it a lot, say so.
  • If there is the smallest hint of abuse, back off. No matter how good your partner is in other areas, if they are abusive, leave. Sometimes we do hurt others by mistake, but if there is obvious abusive behaviour, either mental or physical, then leave.
  • Remember that everyone is human, and thus can make mistakes. Don’t let a mistake ruin the relationship. Instead, talk about it openly, and try to learn something from it to help the relationship grow.
Categories : Featured, Relationships, Sexuality

Chasing Bugs

Posted on January 14, 2010 by Jarl Mezentius

You may have noticed the changes as they are occurring around Bondage-Radio site.

If you find that we missed one of the little quirks in the programming, please feel free to drop us a note.

I can honestly say that I put in over 40 hours a week, just chasing down these little annoyances in an effort  to make your experiences here more enjoyable.

Thanks

~Jarl Mezentius ~ Founder: Bondage-Radio

~What Makes Me Master ~ One Man’s Journey ~

~Join Us in FetLife Chat ~ The UN-Official FetLife Live Chat Room ~

Categories : News

The Hands-Free O

Posted on November 16, 2009 by Jarl Mezentius

It’s all about the ‘O’

emma had this to say about the female ‘hands free’ orgasm.

Unlike a lot of her posts, this one didn’t seem as well thought out, and this lack of alacrity somehow compelled Me to comment;

200807080924.jpg Mrs. Kelly’s Playhouse: The Hands-Free O: The Hands-Free O

I am not an easy-comer. It’s not difficult for me to orgasm while masturbating and it’s not particularly difficult for me to orgasm while having intercourse as long as there is also clitoral stimulation going on. But I am not the kind of girl who gets a dick in her vagina and then starts screaming with a big-O.

If I were sitting around with Dr. Freud, I would be told that my clitoral orgasms were immature and a symptom of my repression or something like that (I’m not a Freudian-psychologist so don’t expect total accuracy here on what the coke-head “doctor” would have said).

I have always figured that I am pretty normal and average in the orgasm department (and the stats back me up here). Stories where the women come just by thinking about big cocks make me laugh out loud. But I am willing to accept that women are different and that there is a lot of variation in ease of coming.

My roommate in college claimed to have never had an orgasm, neither during intercourse nor by her own manipulation. I found that pretty unbelievable since I had spent literally hours masturbating during my teen years. But she was actually doing stuff like holding a mirror in front of her private parts and searching for her clit (some of those female “discover yourself” books have some pretty wild stuff in them).

I admit that until very recently I thought the whole notion of an easier comer was…um… bullshit. I thought that the majority of women were probably like me and that easy-comers were the fantasy of men. By reading sex stories and watching porn, you find that often male fantasies have to do with women being more like men: they come easily, they love sex and want to have sex with anyone anywhere, they shoot cum like a man, they are obsessed with penises.

I often think guys would be a lot happier in the sex department if they had sex with other guys most of the time and just had sex with women for procreation but that’s a whole other post.

I happened to talk to one of my oldest friends recently — someone who has been known to be a total slut – and low and behold she admitted that she was an easier comer. She referred to herself as a “sure-thing” and said if a guy couldn’t get her off, he had to be just terrible in bed. I have to admit to being somewhat jealous. I wish I were an easier-comer but I’m just not. And I just have to accept that.

But something that distresses me is how many men are still basically going by the Freudian model. I haven’t exactly done a study on this but it seems like young guys especially feel threatened if a woman needs to touch herself during sex.

At AskEmma I suggested that a guy encourage his girlfriend to use a vibrator during anal sex to make it more enjoyable and he actually said that he thought most guys were threatened by vibrators. Really? Why? I don’t imagine any woman would leave her boyfriend or husband for a vibrator.

A vibrator virtually guarantees an orgasm in a woman (and a pretty fucking great one at that). How could that be a bad thing? Why would that threaten a guy? Only because he really believes that his penis is supposed to do all the magic and if it doesn’t then something is wrong with him or her. If I could go back in time and kill Freud, I might (probably not though because if I could go back in time I’d go back and fuck 1976 David Bowie and 1972 Iggy Pop). But I do believe that Freud and his ilk did a great disservice to women and men alike.

When I think about the guy who said he’d be threatened by his girlfriend using a vibrator during anal sex, I really wonder what he was thinking. I mean he was asking me to give him advice about how to make his girlfriend enjoy it more but at the same time scared of the one thing that would make it probably the most enjoyable for her. Why on earth would anyone think that simply sticking a dick in a girl’s ass would get her off? It’s a complete misunderstanding of female anatomy and the female orgasm.

A female/male submissive might get aroused by the intensity of anal sex but my guess is that most women and probably most men don’t get off just on anal sex with no stimulation of the clit or penis. Again, I am not an expert on any of this but what I am suggesting is that people do what gets them off without worrying too much about the right or wrong of it.

And just to prove a point, I am sure that at least one guy will comment here about how wrong I am about female orgasms and how the goal is the hands-free O. And I’ll probably tell him to fuck off. Posted by Emma Kelly at 2:49 AM

3 comments:

Gillette said…

I’m wondering if people are talking about different types of orgasms???? I’m thinkin’ we’re all different, have different responses at different times in our lives (well..that’s been my experience, anyway..and don’t I just hate it that I have enough years to have “perspective??” HA!)

There are times when a guy first enters that I definitely get one type of orgasm that I call an “oozie.” STRONG but diffused energy all over the body.

But those are very different than clitoral orgasms…which are more “work” for me. And I definitely do the manual thingie with anal. But/and I’ve also talked to men who’ve been with women who orgasm initially with the anal thing like I do with the vaginal thing. I’m not sure if it’s the same type of orgasm as a clitoral one as I haven’t talked to them.

I don’t get the vibrator threat thingie, either. Ask him if he ever fantasizes about anyone/anything other than the partner he’s fucking in the moment. My guess is yes. Many people use tools to get that O, just some of them are made of rubber and some are in the mind.

March 12, 2008 3:03 AM Anonymous said…

Well, my wife always brings herself off with her fingers either when I do cunnilingus on her or when I am inside her. As for cunninlingus, she likes that I lick her, but a some point, as I continue to lick her, she will provoke her orgasms with her fingers.

And I must admit that I find that very erotic — that is, that she actively brings on her orgasms (which are very much in the plural) with her own fingers.

Does that mean I am less of a man, etc. I really don’t worry about that at all. I am about 6 3/4 inches long. I am neither thin nor thick.

Uh, about Freud, well,if I may: your argument is based in a popular view of Freud. But that does not really matter.

March 12, 2008 4:10 AM Jarl Mezentius said…

OK. I have been a long time reader and because of my BDSM/Gorean lifestyle and opinions, I have kept out of your comment box as a measure of respect, but in this case I must, respectfully, put my comment here.

I have been informed by several of my former and present girls that there are at LEAST two different kinds of female orgasm. I tend to believe them since they would have no reason to lie about this subject (and would be severly punished if they did lie on any subject, but that is again a completely different subject for a BDSM thread) that this should be the case.

Most of the women agreed that there is a ‘shudder’ factor that occurs when the body is suddenly and completely sexually energized, either from a touch, a scent or any of the other senses. I also understand that although this shudder is complete head to toe sexual sensation, that a girl might get wet and ready for sex, that it is not the actual Big-O.

The second orgasm described by my girls is what most women would call the Big-O.

The description of this event is always met with hesitation when approached Master to slave, as if this is some secret that women actually keep away from each other, let alone a Man and his friends.

The Big-O however is described physically the same as the Male orgasm, all other incoming sensations are halted, with the exception of the erogenous zones, and the body convulses in repeated pulses throughout, centered and concentrated on the sexual organs.

The energy and exertion of this type of female orgasm has the same effect on the woman as the Male orgasm has… exhaustion and complete satisfaction… (roll over and go to sleep)

Having described these two most common types of Orgasm I would also like to point out that in Men and in Women, the little and the Big-O is something that can occur, hands-free … and even in the case of more than one submissive (both male and female) can occur ‘On Command’ with the spoken command being the only immediate stimulus.

Simple Logic proves this out, as the most sexual organ in the human body, is the human mind… tickle it, tease it, and tempt it correctly, and your girl (or guy) will cum with a Big-O every time.

March 12, 2008 6:41 AM

Categories : Member Submitted

Led Zeppelin Reunion Confirmed

Posted on by Jarl Mezentius

13/09/2007 9:18:50 AM

(BUM) The members of the rock group Led Zeppelin have confirmed that they will be reuniting.

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Porn laws relaxed – for now

Posted on by Jarl Mezentius

Norway’s Supreme Court cleared editor Stein-Erik Mattsson on pornography charges, ending Mattson’s three-year long battle to modernize Norway’s censorship practices. Importers are now gearing up to flood Norway with porn, but authorities may still keep it out.

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Right: Stein-Erik Mattson with his issue of ‘Free’ Aktuell Rapport, which dropped its price tag and censorship bars and started the legal process that ended Wednesday.

PHOTO: ERLEND AAS/SCANPIX

Mattsson flouted Norway’s insistence on putting black censorship bars over images of ‘genitalia in action that may offend’ by printing up an uncensored but far from sensational magazine called Frie Aktuell Rapport. He not only gave it away, he sent a copy to every Member of Parliament and waited for trouble.

The long legal process that resulted nearly broke Mattsson. After first being acquitted, prosecutors appealed the verdict but the appeals court unanimously rejected the appeal. The Oslo district attorney then took the case to the Supreme Court, but having lost his job in the interim, Mattsson offered to pay his fine in order to put an end to the matter.

But he had no choice once the case was on the Supreme Court agenda. Instead, he made a convincing argument, showing judges a lengthy montage of film sequences passed by Norway’s board of film censors on artistic grounds that was far more disturbing than run-of-the-mill sex without bits covered.

The Supreme Court couldn’t stand watching it all, and agreed that standards had changed since the law’s inception.

“After a collective assessment I have concluded that the threshold for what today is deemed to be offensive – and therefore punishable – cannot be said to have been transgressed,” is how first-voting Supreme Court judge Ole Bjørn Støle ruled, and the decision was unanimous.

Mattson said the ruling finally upheld his view that he had done nothing wrong by showing ‘regular sex’, uncovered, and he sent his thanks to Socialist Left Party politician and porn hater Lena Jensen, for bringing the original complaint against him.

Norway’s porn industry is ready to open the floodgates for uncensored material, but doubts remain.

“We are waiting to push the button, first we just have to make sure exactly what is legal,” said Finn Engnes, manager of Erotic Wholesales, who has so far specialized in importing sex toys, oils and lingerie. Engnes said he expects a green light and is already lining up producers from Europe and the USA.

Leif Aage Hagen, Norway’s major player in the sex and porn industry in Norway, said he had been planning for this day for 30 years.

“A Norwegian version of the American “Hustler” will be launched as soon as possible, maybe already before New Year’s,” Hagen said.

Film channel Canal + said they had no immediate plans to drop the black bars that obscure the action on their late night erotic films.

“We interpret the ruling to apply to the printed medium and not film. We conduct ourselves according to Norwegian law and so will not be changing our programming offering because of this ruling,” said Canal + managing director Bjørn Stangjordet.

Meanwhile, politicians are ready to respond by introducing new and more specific legislation to keep porn at bay. Parliamentary members of the governing coalition signaled that they would push for a new examination of censorship legislation, and they can expect the enthusiastic support of the Christian Democrats.

Aftenposten’s Norwegian reporters

Kristian Skalland Moen, Gudmund Bartnes and Lars Ditlev Hansen

Aftenposten English Web Desk

Jonathan Tisdall

This is an article from www.aftenposten.no.

Updated: 08. desember 2005 kl.19:32

It can be found at this address: http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article1174517.ece

Categories : Legal Issues, News

Say Cheese: 12 Photos That Should Never Have Been Posted Online – washingtonpost.com

Posted on by Jarl Mezentius

You know the old cliche, a picture is worth a thousand words? Turns out that pictures have been deeply undervalued: A single photo can cost you your reputation, your job, even your freedom–if you post it online.

Teachers, principals, firefighters, mayors, university presidents, and everyday people have all discovered the dark side of putting the wrong photos and videos on social networking sites. Sometimes they paid the price in embarrassment. An unlucky handful lost their jobs or landed in jail.

The results aren’t pretty, but they are sometimes hilarious. Here’s our dirty dozen–12 pictures their owners probably wish they could take back.

200809230724.jpg1. Hey Kevin, Tinker Bell Wants Her Outfit Back

It’s bad enough to dress up like you’re about to slip a dollar under some toothless child’s pillow. But former intern Kevin Colvin made it much worse by asking his boss at Anglo Irish Bank if he could take time off for a “family emergency in New York,” then flitting off to a Halloween party dressed like a refugee from Peter Pan. Putting the faerie pix on his Facebook profile was the finishing touch. After his boss found the pictures, he responded by attaching the photo in question and blind-copied the entire office. Colvin lost his internship and what was left of his reputation when the e-mail messages went flying across the Internet; at least he got to keep the wand.

200809230726.jpg2. Quick, Call 911–My Pants Are on Fire

Now that an ex-beauty queen is running for the VP slot, life may be easier for hot mommas who also happen to be office holders. It will be too late to help Carmen Kontur-Gronquist, though. The former mayor of Arlington, Oregon, got in hot water with her constituents after a family member posted photos to her MySpace profile showing off her, umm, political assets in the town firehouse (where she worked as an executive secretary). Amazingly, the town of 500 voted to recall her from office shortly after the photos went public. Maybe they were afraid people would start setting fires, just to see what she was wearing when she showed up.

200809230729.jpg3. Muscle Bound or Muscle Brained?

What is it about firehouses that makes people want to take off their clothes? In this case, Boston fireman Alberto Arroyo got in trouble for stripping down to take part in a body-building competition last May. (He finished eighth in the 2008 Pro Natural American Championships, by the way.) There’s nothing wrong with fire fighters showing off their muscles, but Arroyo made the mistake of competing two weeks after he’d filed for permanent disability status due to back injuries. Apparently his injuries enabled him to lift barbells but prevented him from inspecting buildings for code violations. After his bosses saw video of Arroyo competing on YouTube, they decided to give him plenty of spare time to work on his pecs.

200809230741.jpg4. Vending Machine Leads Tennis Teen, 40-Love

British tennis phenoms Naomi Broady and David Rice are no longer feeling the love from the UK’s Lawn Tennis Association. The LTA nixed its sponsorship of the teens in October 2007 after discovering photos of Broady and Rice on social networking site Bebo showing them drunk, getting intimate with condom dispensers in public restrooms, and otherwise displaying “a lack of discipline.” According to the Yorkshire Evening Post,”Naomi’s Bebo profile showed her out on the town, with her legs wrapped round a toilet vending machine.” No doubt trying to coax it to return the correct change.

200809230745.jpg5. Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum

What do you do with a drunken pirate? Throw her in the brig–or, if you’re Millersville University, deny her a teaching degree. That’s what happened to Stacey Snyder, a then-27-year-old student teacher who posted a self portrait to her MySpace page under the caption “drunk pirate,” even though it was not clear from the photo exactly what liquid was in her plastic cup. The Pennsylvania-based university decided the picture was “unprofessional” enough to rescind Snyder’s degree, just days before it was to be awarded in May 2006. Snyder sued the university in federal court, claiming it violated her First Amendment rights (not to mention, of course, her Right to Paaaaar-tay). As of publication date of this story, that suit is still active.

6. Moronic at Any Speed

Quick, what’s more stupid–driving 140 mph or filming yourself while driving 140 mph? How about filming yourself driving 140 mph and then posting the evidence on YouTube? That was only the tip of the dunce-berg for 23-year-old Andrew Kellett of Leeds, England. He posted more than 80 videos of himself driving recklessly, stealing gasoline, using drugs, and engaging in sundry other illegal activities under the name “Mrchimp2007.” Last July, a city magistrate who’d had enough of this monkey business gave Kellett two years probation and ordered him to stop posting videos of his dirty deeds ( though some are still available online). “Kellett must be in the running to be Britain’s Dumbest Criminal,” said Leeds City Councilor Les Carter. “If more criminals were as obliging, the city would be even safer.”

200809230820.jpg7. Where There’s Smoke, There’s Ire

Sometimes posting a photo of someone else is enough to get you in trouble. In March 2005 Central High student Eliazar Velasquez snapped shots of principal Elaine Almagno having a smoke on school grounds and posted them to his Web site. He then distributed flyers throughout the Providence-based school, urging students to visit the site. Though it was Almagno who got caught breaking Rhode Island’s ban on smoking near schools, it was the sophomore who got suspended. But not for long; after the story hit the news wires, Velasquez’s suspension was lifted. Our advice to Almagno? Two words: Nicotine patch.

200809230827.jpg8. No Nudes Is Good Nudes

Here are two quick rules of thumb. If you’re going to teach art to high schoolers, try not to post nude photos of yourself online. And if you must teach art and pose in the nude, don’t do it in Texas. Tamara Hoover found this out the hard way in May 2006, when she was forced to leave her teaching position at Austin High School after students discovered semi-nude pix of the 31-year-old on Flickr. Perhaps it was the photos of a nude Hoover wearing a spiked dog collar that set school administrators into a tizzy, or perhaps it was simply because the photos were taken by Hoover’s gay lover. Because as we all know, Texas has no room for artists, lesbians, or naked people.

200809230830.jpg9. Nice, Err, Pom Poms

As Texas is to nude art teachers, Illinois is to scantily clad cheerleading coaches. In April 2007, 25-year-old Natosha Shaw was temporarily stripped of her pom poms when parents at Waukegan High discovered sexy photos on Shaw’s MySpace profile. Parents claimed the aspiring dancer/model was also “inexperienced, incompetent, and immature” as well as under dressed. But Shaw, who’s also an executive assistant to an Illinois state congressman, was ultimately given a second chance. Apparently it’s OK to train teenage girls to perform in front of crowds wearing skimpy outfits, so long as you don’t do it on MySpace. Shouldn’t the parents be more worried that she doesn’t know how to spell “Natasha”?

200809230835.jpg10. Then We Ordered Another Bottle of Tequila, and When I Woke Up One of My Kidneys Was Missing

It was a vacation she’d probably rather forget. When Janet Dudley-Eshbach, president of Salisbury University in Maryland, created an album of her family’s trip to Mexico on Facebook in October 2007, she didn’t expect a local TV station to broadcast the photos to the world, or to have a Wikipedia entry covering the mini-scandal. The problem wasn’t the photos so much as the captions, like the one for this picture: “I ended up having to beat off the Mexicans because they were constantly flirting with my daughter.” (We believe she meant with a stick.) Or the photo of a tapir, a piglike mammal, with an arrow pointing to its outsized manhood. The 53-year-old educator was forced to apologize for conduct unbecoming a university president–and to endure a painful lesson on how not to use Facebook’s privacy settings.

200809230838.jpg11. Yesterday, Spring Break; Tomorrow, Prison Break

What’s a Halloween costume cost? For college junior Joshua Lipton, it was two years of his life. In October 2006, the Bryant University student was charged with drunk driving after causing a three-car crash that left one Providence woman in critical condition. Two weeks later he showed up for a Halloween party dressed as “Jail Bird,” photos of which made it onto Facebook. That didn’t sit very well with the judge in the case, who called the picture “a defense attorney’s worst nightmare” and sentenced Lipton to two years in prison. The good news: The department of corrections didn’t have to issue Lipton a new jumpsuit–he already had his own.

200809230849.jpg12. I’m a PC, She’s a Mac, and You’re Unemployed

Michael Hanscom did not pose nude on Flickr, attack the locals with a stick on his trip to Mexico, or dress up like the Fairy Princess while calling in sick. His crime? In October 2003, the Microsoft temp posted photos of Macintosh G5s being unloaded on the Redmond campus to his blog with the title “Even Microsoft wants G5s.” And that was enough to get him canned from his job in Microsoft’s print shop for an alleged “security violation.” Apparently, the world’s largest developer of software for the Mac (besides Apple) didn’t want anyone to know that some of its employees use Macs. (Thanks for Michael Hanscom for use of the photo.)

[From Say Cheese: 12 Photos That Should Never Have Been Posted Online - washingtonpost.com]


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Categories : News

:: Bondage Radio :: Contest Winner Pays – Attention

Posted on by Jarl Mezentius

Chris P. of New Hampshire, lucked into a cash prize, tuning in for the first time, to www.Bondage-Radio.com and winning a contest on the Internet Radio station’s Fetish website.

“My first time to the site and first window I opened.” said Chris in the e-mail message that won him the prize.

According to the rules of the contest, the first person to spot the contest on the website and e-mail a copy of the text of the page to the station’s manager, won $10 dollars.

The contest was posted on August 15th to celebrate the birthdays of the station’s owner, and the station’s manager which were one day apart, earlier in the same month.

“I was wondering how long it would take someone to find it.” said ‘Mistress Medina’, the radio stations manager, in her reply to Chris’s winning e-mail.

Mistress Medina very clearly spelled out her reasons for posting the contest, in the contest rules, “Just to see who pays attention!”

The contest had gone unclaimed for 6 days. The contest was posted clearly on the website, under a link labled ‘CONTESTS’.

“People either hadn’t believed it, or thought it had been claimed already,” said ‘Mezentius’, the station’s owner, “It wasn’t like it was hidden.”

“The site stats show,” said Mezentius, about the long time between the contest being posted and the prize being claimed, “over two thousand visitors saw it, they just didn’t send in an e-mail.”

Chris, however did, and is $10 dollars richer because of it.

Chris noted the date and time in his e-mail and even explained how he located the site.

“I found you on SHOUT-cast.(dot com)” said Chris, before ending with the famous movie quote, “I’ll be back.”

Chris signed the winning e-mail “THANX! C”

Categories : News
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