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e[lust] #12 – e[lust]

8:50 AM in Syndicated by Jarl Mezentius


Photo courtesy of Emmy


Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #13? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~


FleshHer mind awash with the thought of fucking. The smell of his scent stirring her cunt, her skin alive and encased by lust.


Putting energy inPlay is energising, at its best; so when both of you are tired, sex or spanking can be a way to get away from it all, rejuvenate your emotional connection and stimulate body and brain with a flood of hormones and endorphines.


A Rude AwakeningIn the depths of the night, I half wake to the feel of her cool skin wrapping itself around my back. Soft breasts pushing against my ribs and her groin moulding itself to my buttocks.


~ e[lust] Editress ~


Shouldn’tIt always starts off so inconspicuously. Innocent, like the sort of teasing that might occur now and then between any other pair of friends who share a hint of attraction to each other.


~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~


ComfortShe’s so strong and yet, when we lie down together, she makes herself small and vulnerable for me. ”Hold me” she says in a tiny voice


See also: Pleasurists #73 and #74 for all your sex toy review needs.


All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


Erotic Writing


Back Story
bodystocking blowjob
Bella Durmiente
Began my day
Bubbleland
Current events
Fiction: Growth
First Meetings…
Game On
“I want your cock in my mouth”
“Make Me”
Mauled at Noon
Monday Morning Flash – “Bathtime”
musing/not asking
Negotiations
Oh, What a Night
One Last Surprise
Over-Ruled?
Park ‘N Ride Me
Slut with Wine Bottle
Stardust
Satin Met a Laddie
Unravelled
Wednesday meeting with V


Kink & Fetish


BDSM Advice Series: Gags
Domme for a day
FetInRealLife #12 – DIY Flogger
First Memories
Impact
Last Night
New friends and intense, sweaty, loud orgasms
Out with the Old, in with the New
Sluts, Squirts and Swing Clubs
Steel
Submissive Skills: Hunt Slut
Trust
taking her as My girl, discovering the Dom within
“Welcome to SpankingCast, our spanking podcast”


Sex News, Interviews, Politics and Humor


Building Community for Sex-Positive Sexuality Professionals
Soaking — Marinating in the Cunt of Christ


Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships


Gay Pride
Going Bareback
I Can’t
Ladies, what do your genitals say about you?
My Identity is Erased
More Bad Advice
My Rape Story
Read and you may learn…V-massage
Psychology of Rape Fantasy- An Overview
Support Survivors
Top 10 Good Things About A LDR
You Shur Got a Pretty Mouth

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e[lust] #10

4:06 AM in Syndicated by Jarl Mezentius


HNT Courtesy of Babe Lincoln

Welcome to e[lust] – The 10th edition! Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #11? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Negotiation – Not Nearly As Awkward As Having a Breakdown in PublicAll the worries about getting to know a new person (“Am I dressed ok? Are they gonna like my stories about my grandma?”) get exaggerated when you’re talking about sex and desire…

Dollar Store DommeHe definitely can’t elude the dollops of toothpaste I dab onto his nipples. It takes a delicious second before he feels the cool burn penetrate his flesh. By that time I’m already up and selecting a plastic spatula from the credenza.

The Best of Both Worlds or Lost in Limbo?Whether intentional or unthinking, bisexual denial is a frustrating thing for bisexual, pansexual or ‘fluid’ people to have to deal with.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Navigating Genderqueer in SuburbiaBut pray tell how do the rest of us navigate it? How the hell am I supposed to know if you identify as male or just like dressing like one?

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

The Daddy Issue: Sexualizing AbuseI needed to walk through this fear, and turn it into pleasure. I needed to prove to myself that he hadn’t broken me. That he hadn’t changed who I was to become. That I was not affected by what he did. That he didn’t abuse me.

See also: Pleasurists #69 and #70 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Writing

15 minute phone sex
…And Orgasms On Demand
A Neighbor In Need #7
Afternoon Delight!
Casino
Desperation & Dominance
Dreams
Evening Home, Part 3
First Asleep Loses
Happy ending
I Got….
I am a keeper of secrets
I Got Fucked
I am Coming for You: A Letter to Scin
Late Night Satisfaction
Lolita’s Mother
Making M Squirt
Sir ~ intro
The Hatter
The Flash Fiction Friday FAQ!
Trussed
We fucked, they applauded
Where there is a libido, there is a way
Wicked Wednesday: Idyll

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

20 Reasons Why Sex Is Good
Defining Sex
Hurt me, Pet
I Was Raped
Playing Dumb
Red Flags of an Abusive Partner, Part 2
Restrictions and Satisfaction
Someone Else’s Shoes
Sex Isn’t Everything
The Art of Sensual Touching-Caressing for You and Your Partner
The STI You Haven’t Heard of: Molluscum contagiosum
The Suit
Vibrant Woman or Live Masturbation Sleeve
What I Don’t Need

Kink & Fetish

A Little Girl’s Need for Submission
Are You Done Yet?
A Reformatory Punishment
BDSM Advice Series: Floggers
Bruises
Determined to bind
His Slut
I Really Wasn’t In The Mood
Impact
Pain and Healing
Questions From DH About These Things We Do
Surrender
Sub Drop: Fact or Fiction?
Tiiu Ashcraft – Fetish Artist and Beauty
The Eroticism of Tattoos
The Competition
Wanting to want

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

A History of Violence
Asshat of the Day Award
Awesome Mentoring Work and Upcoming Apprenticeship

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by Admin

Say Cheese: 12 Photos That Should Never Have Been Posted Online – washingtonpost.com

6:25 AM in News, Syndicated by Admin

You know the old cliche, a picture is worth a thousand words? Turns out that pictures have been deeply undervalued: A single photo can cost you your reputation, your job, even your freedom–if you post it online.

Teachers, principals, firefighters, mayors, university presidents, and everyday people have all discovered the dark side of putting the wrong photos and videos on social networking sites. Sometimes they paid the price in embarrassment. An unlucky handful lost their jobs or landed in jail.

The results aren’t pretty, but they are sometimes hilarious. Here’s our dirty dozen–12 pictures their owners probably wish they could take back.

200809230724.jpg1. Hey Kevin, Tinker Bell Wants Her Outfit Back

It’s bad enough to dress up like you’re about to slip a dollar under some toothless child’s pillow. But former intern Kevin Colvin made it much worse by asking his boss at Anglo Irish Bank if he could take time off for a “family emergency in New York,” then flitting off to a Halloween party dressed like a refugee from Peter Pan. Putting the faerie pix on his Facebook profile was the finishing touch. After his boss found the pictures, he responded by attaching the photo in question and blind-copied the entire office. Colvin lost his internship and what was left of his reputation when the e-mail messages went flying across the Internet; at least he got to keep the wand.

200809230726.jpg2. Quick, Call 911–My Pants Are on Fire

Now that an ex-beauty queen is running for the VP slot, life may be easier for hot mommas who also happen to be office holders. It will be too late to help Carmen Kontur-Gronquist, though. The former mayor of Arlington, Oregon, got in hot water with her constituents after a family member posted photos to her MySpace profile showing off her, umm, political assets in the town firehouse (where she worked as an executive secretary). Amazingly, the town of 500 voted to recall her from office shortly after the photos went public. Maybe they were afraid people would start setting fires, just to see what she was wearing when she showed up.

200809230729.jpg3. Muscle Bound or Muscle Brained?

What is it about firehouses that makes people want to take off their clothes? In this case, Boston fireman Alberto Arroyo got in trouble for stripping down to take part in a body-building competition last May. (He finished eighth in the 2008 Pro Natural American Championships, by the way.) There’s nothing wrong with fire fighters showing off their muscles, but Arroyo made the mistake of competing two weeks after he’d filed for permanent disability status due to back injuries. Apparently his injuries enabled him to lift barbells but prevented him from inspecting buildings for code violations. After his bosses saw video of Arroyo competing on YouTube, they decided to give him plenty of spare time to work on his pecs.

200809230741.jpg4. Vending Machine Leads Tennis Teen, 40-Love

British tennis phenoms Naomi Broady and David Rice are no longer feeling the love from the UK’s Lawn Tennis Association. The LTA nixed its sponsorship of the teens in October 2007 after discovering photos of Broady and Rice on social networking site Bebo showing them drunk, getting intimate with condom dispensers in public restrooms, and otherwise displaying “a lack of discipline.” According to the Yorkshire Evening Post,”Naomi’s Bebo profile showed her out on the town, with her legs wrapped round a toilet vending machine.” No doubt trying to coax it to return the correct change.

200809230745.jpg5. Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum

What do you do with a drunken pirate? Throw her in the brig–or, if you’re Millersville University, deny her a teaching degree. That’s what happened to Stacey Snyder, a then-27-year-old student teacher who posted a self portrait to her MySpace page under the caption “drunk pirate,” even though it was not clear from the photo exactly what liquid was in her plastic cup. The Pennsylvania-based university decided the picture was “unprofessional” enough to rescind Snyder’s degree, just days before it was to be awarded in May 2006. Snyder sued the university in federal court, claiming it violated her First Amendment rights (not to mention, of course, her Right to Paaaaar-tay). As of publication date of this story, that suit is still active.

6. Moronic at Any Speed

Quick, what’s more stupid–driving 140 mph or filming yourself while driving 140 mph? How about filming yourself driving 140 mph and then posting the evidence on YouTube? That was only the tip of the dunce-berg for 23-year-old Andrew Kellett of Leeds, England. He posted more than 80 videos of himself driving recklessly, stealing gasoline, using drugs, and engaging in sundry other illegal activities under the name “Mrchimp2007.” Last July, a city magistrate who’d had enough of this monkey business gave Kellett two years probation and ordered him to stop posting videos of his dirty deeds ( though some are still available online). “Kellett must be in the running to be Britain’s Dumbest Criminal,” said Leeds City Councilor Les Carter. “If more criminals were as obliging, the city would be even safer.”

200809230820.jpg7. Where There’s Smoke, There’s Ire

Sometimes posting a photo of someone else is enough to get you in trouble. In March 2005 Central High student Eliazar Velasquez snapped shots of principal Elaine Almagno having a smoke on school grounds and posted them to his Web site. He then distributed flyers throughout the Providence-based school, urging students to visit the site. Though it was Almagno who got caught breaking Rhode Island’s ban on smoking near schools, it was the sophomore who got suspended. But not for long; after the story hit the news wires, Velasquez’s suspension was lifted. Our advice to Almagno? Two words: Nicotine patch.

200809230827.jpg8. No Nudes Is Good Nudes

Here are two quick rules of thumb. If you’re going to teach art to high schoolers, try not to post nude photos of yourself online. And if you must teach art and pose in the nude, don’t do it in Texas. Tamara Hoover found this out the hard way in May 2006, when she was forced to leave her teaching position at Austin High School after students discovered semi-nude pix of the 31-year-old on Flickr. Perhaps it was the photos of a nude Hoover wearing a spiked dog collar that set school administrators into a tizzy, or perhaps it was simply because the photos were taken by Hoover’s gay lover. Because as we all know, Texas has no room for artists, lesbians, or naked people.

200809230830.jpg9. Nice, Err, Pom Poms

As Texas is to nude art teachers, Illinois is to scantily clad cheerleading coaches. In April 2007, 25-year-old Natosha Shaw was temporarily stripped of her pom poms when parents at Waukegan High discovered sexy photos on Shaw’s MySpace profile. Parents claimed the aspiring dancer/model was also “inexperienced, incompetent, and immature” as well as under dressed. But Shaw, who’s also an executive assistant to an Illinois state congressman, was ultimately given a second chance. Apparently it’s OK to train teenage girls to perform in front of crowds wearing skimpy outfits, so long as you don’t do it on MySpace. Shouldn’t the parents be more worried that she doesn’t know how to spell “Natasha”?

200809230835.jpg10. Then We Ordered Another Bottle of Tequila, and When I Woke Up One of My Kidneys Was Missing

It was a vacation she’d probably rather forget. When Janet Dudley-Eshbach, president of Salisbury University in Maryland, created an album of her family’s trip to Mexico on Facebook in October 2007, she didn’t expect a local TV station to broadcast the photos to the world, or to have a Wikipedia entry covering the mini-scandal. The problem wasn’t the photos so much as the captions, like the one for this picture: “I ended up having to beat off the Mexicans because they were constantly flirting with my daughter.” (We believe she meant with a stick.) Or the photo of a tapir, a piglike mammal, with an arrow pointing to its outsized manhood. The 53-year-old educator was forced to apologize for conduct unbecoming a university president–and to endure a painful lesson on how not to use Facebook’s privacy settings.

200809230838.jpg11. Yesterday, Spring Break; Tomorrow, Prison Break

What’s a Halloween costume cost? For college junior Joshua Lipton, it was two years of his life. In October 2006, the Bryant University student was charged with drunk driving after causing a three-car crash that left one Providence woman in critical condition. Two weeks later he showed up for a Halloween party dressed as “Jail Bird,” photos of which made it onto Facebook. That didn’t sit very well with the judge in the case, who called the picture “a defense attorney’s worst nightmare” and sentenced Lipton to two years in prison. The good news: The department of corrections didn’t have to issue Lipton a new jumpsuit–he already had his own.

200809230849.jpg12. I’m a PC, She’s a Mac, and You’re Unemployed

Michael Hanscom did not pose nude on Flickr, attack the locals with a stick on his trip to Mexico, or dress up like the Fairy Princess while calling in sick. His crime? In October 2003, the Microsoft temp posted photos of Macintosh G5s being unloaded on the Redmond campus to his blog with the title “Even Microsoft wants G5s.” And that was enough to get him canned from his job in Microsoft’s print shop for an alleged “security violation.” Apparently, the world’s largest developer of software for the Mac (besides Apple) didn’t want anyone to know that some of its employees use Macs. (Thanks for Michael Hanscom for use of the photo.)

[From Say Cheese: 12 Photos That Should Never Have Been Posted Online - washingtonpost.com]

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by Admin

A Pleasure Guide to Bondage

4:39 PM in Syndicated by Admin

with_a_whip_big.jpg

By: Suie Roberts

For the novice, bondage can be a quick and inexpensive way to spice up your sex life. You don’t need to buy any sort of specialised kit. Neck ties, stocking and belts make ideal bonds. Use soft items to bind your lover to avoid chafing.

Of course there is more to bondage than just tying your partner down to the bed. What are you going to do with them now that you have them there? This is why it is perceived that spanking and whipping must be involved. If you like that kind of thing there are a wide selection of Spanking Tools available, however this is sadism and masochism activity.

In its simplest form, bondage can be holding someone’s hands down whilst giving them a lap dance. In this situation there are no restraints at all. Bondage is more about the eroticism of being under the control of another person or the eroticism of having full control over someone else.

Because of this, bondage on any level stimulates the largest sex organ in the body – The Brain. Bondage binds the brain in rules that give the brain the illusion that the body is being restrained and controlled by someone else. It is usually considered that people in high powered jobs like these kind of sexual games, because they are able to let someone else take control so that they can loose control. But it is also fair to say that it is usually imaginative people who enjoy these games, because they are able to get lost inside the game.

Anyone considering practising bondage on any level must have complete trust in the person or persons who they intend to play with. It is also essential that everyone agrees on a ‘safety’ word. The safety word is a word that can be used by anyone to stop all activity immediately. The word could be a television programme, a musician, or complete nonsense such as ‘erotic elephants’. Whatever your safety word, it must only be used when you want to stop all activities and return to reality. It is important to be able to stop the game because someone my get hurt or injured.

Also for safety, don’t tie anyone too tight. During sexual arousal your body slightly swells, so a tight handcuff soon starts cutting off the bloody supply.

Other less brutal activities could involve teasing your partner.

Tips for girls -

Rub your pussy very lightly over his cock whilst rubbing baby oil into your breasts. Lean forward every now and then and let your juicy orbs hang in his face, just out of tongue reach.

Kneel above his chest and masturbate giving him a ringside seat. Rub your fingers over your lips and then go in for the full on snog.

A little forced face sitting, hover the bits of your pussy you want licking over his face.

Tips for the boys -

Get her to stick her tongue out and the stroke her face and neck and tongue with your erection.

Kiss and caress the inside of her thighs slowly, forever moving upwards little by little. Keep your hands moving and occasionally run your hand over her pussy, but don’t linger or give her any sort of satisfaction. Make sure she feels your breathe on her clit, but not your tongue! Not yet anyway.

The games and the teasing all adds to the excitement of bondage sex. The slow build up leads to steamy passionate sex.

After dabbling with bondage you may want to move up a level. This is a great excuse to dress up, whether you dress up as a Dominatrix, or a Submissive Sex Slave or the Devil herself; the key ingredient has to be PVC or Leather.

Top Tip – If you dress kinky and sexy, you feel kinky and sexy.

You may also want to upgrade your bondage restraints

Hand Cuffs – Cold metal feels nice against your skin, however, they do clank and make noise and they can scratch your furnishings, metal beds in particular.

Leather Wrist Restraints – The feel of leather and the look and smell of it is very sexy. Just be aware that leather collars and cuffs do take some ‘wearing in’ because new leather is rather stiff.

Fabric Wrist Restraints – Very comfortable to wear with padded protection. Quick and easy to use, you can tie someone up in the blink of an eye. They don’t damage your bed and are compatible with any kinky inflatable furniture. Fabric binds are easily washed in the washing machine. However, their sex appeal isn’t the greatest.

PVC Bondage Tape – Bondage tape is wonderful stuff. It works in a similar way to Clingfilm so it sticks but not with stickiness, so you can wrap it round your head and it doesn’t scalp you as you take it off. Its quick and easy to use and looks very hot, although you can’t reuse really because the tape stretches and goes funny and doesn’t look as sexy the next time you use it.

Of course, restraints aren’t just designed to tie your lover to the bed. Some restraints are designed so that they connect together, usually with ‘D’ ring (named after their shape). By clipping bondage items together, you can create unusual sex positions that need support, or just hold limbs out of the way for easier access. Cuff her ankles to her wrists, lay her on her back with her legs straight and you have easier access for giving oral and it leaves your hands free for other naughtiness.

The alternative is to buy your collars and cuffs separately. To ooze sex appeal here you really need to go to a specialised retailer and get sexy leather.

3-Ring Slave Collar – Not only do these collars make the wearer look really hot but they are also very versatile. They enable you to cuff hands to neck in front or behind of the wearer, or ankles to neck (obviously not so that it breaks the wearers hips). You can also add a lead for a bit of fun or use the third ‘D’ ring to tie them to the bed. Great fun.

Waist Cuff, Bondage Belt – Bondage belts allow you to tie your lovers hands to their waist, either at their sides or directly in-front or behind them, again with a long piece of rope you could also attach their ankles so that their legs are in the air and spread open. They can also be used to with a piece of rope going from centre front to centre back to form a kind of chastity belt, or to keep a vibrator firmly inside the vagina.

Leather and Steel Restraints – Ankle to wrist restraints are great for deep penetration sex. Cuff her up and then roll her backwards so that her weight rests on her shoulder blades. Tie the Cuffs to the bed to hold and maintain the position.

Inflatable Bondage Chair – Kinky Furniture is the ultimate bondage toy. However, Bondage furniture usually takes up a lot of space and is not easily hidden when out of use. Inflatable bondage furniture on the other hand easily packs away and can be hidden in the wardrobe – a little less sex appeal but saves the kids and your mother from seeing the evidence of your sexual kinks!

In another direction, there is Japanese bondage. With its oriental origins, Japanese bondage is considered by some an art form and if you really get into it you can really create some elaborate patterns. But to start with you probably wont create much in the way of art, but you will have lots of fun.

You may think a bit of old washing line will do the job, but you really cant skimp here. Get Rope intended for the job, or you run the risk of the rope itching and irritating the skin or chafing. If the rope is too thin it cuts into the skin. Considering the delicate places the rope is going to touch – you don’t want to be left with Chinese burns from your Japanese bondage!

You can buy Books about Japanese Bondage, but finding out for yourself is a whole lot of fun. Here are some Top Tips -

Double up your length of rope. Using double thickness makes knot tying easier.

Keep everything symmetrical – this makes for a more pleasing creation to the eye, it also makes things a whole lot easier.

Always start with a G-String style formation. Its good for anchorage points and gives you something to build on

To make the G-String

With doubled length, wrap around the waist as if it were a belt. Feed the surplus rope through the loop created when you doubled the length. Line up this connecting point with the navel.

Pass the rope down and through the legs and up between the buttocks to the middle back of the ‘belt’ and knot.

Now you are ready to go on to the upper body, or pass round to the sides to tie the wrists to the waist. Just let your imagination run riot!

Remember – When practising Japanese bondage do not make the binds too tight, and bare in mind that you will need to be able to untie any knots that you make.

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by Admin

A Quick Rundown of Some of the Most Popular Gay Fetishes in America

1:00 PM in Syndicated by Admin

fetish

When it comes to the gay counterculture in America today, there are more gay fetishes around than you can shake a stick at. And to be sure, you can shake a stick at an awful lot of them. Sure, there are plenty of vanilla gay folks out there who do not involve any gay fetishes into their sexual habits, but it seems as though more often than not gay fetishes are involved in homosexual relationships. It can be said that being gay is a fetish in and of itself, but for the purposes of this article, we will just focus on some of the more hard core gay fetishes in the society today.

S and M is one of the more popular gay fetishes around. This involves one partner sexually or emotionally dominating the other, with one or both people involved getting sexual pleasure out of the activity. This particular gay fetish has lots of other stuff involved, such as whips, chains, blindfolds, leather, latex and a whole lot more. And all these are dedicated to hurting the submissive person in one way or another. There are actually a countless number of websites dedicated to this S and M gay fetish, with many heterosexual people engaging in the activity as well.

To find people who are interested in this S and M gay fetish, one only needs to do Google, Yahoo or MSN search and visit one of these websites and befriend the people who are also members of the community. For a real life gay fetish experience of this nature, you can go to an S and M gay fetish bar. There is usually one in just about every major city, so finding one is relatively easy. In more rural areas that do not have S and M gay fetish bars, you can usually find a group of people who are willing to host such events at their homes.

Another popular gay fetish involves bondage. In this gay fetish, one person ties up his or her partner with ropes or chains. This is a common gay fetish for both gays and lesbians, and this often includes blindfolds to enhance the bondage experience. Although related to the S and M gay fetish on a basic level, not all people who engage in bondage play are also into S and M. Yet another gay fetish involves age play, where one partner is significantly older than the other.

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by Admin

Sexual Fetish Addiction – Treatment and Issues in Society

1:00 PM in Syndicated by Admin

By: Emma James MABNLP, MATLTA, MAHYP, Dip FTST

Something which is very prevalent in our society today is the fact that we have to hide our preferences which appear to be socially unacceptable. Anything which is deemed to be “deviant” is then assumed to be not “normal” and therefore should be hidden.

This in itself then creates a behavior which is secretive and creates a feeling of anticipation which in itself is then felt as exhilarating and something which is breaking the rules especially if that person has a life where they feel they have to conform.

Sometimes the issues are not necessarily with the client and does lead us to question whether it is in fact society which has the problem and not client, particularly if the sexual fetish is not harmful to self, others, a problem financially and is not feeling like a compulsion or addiction. Yet, I still get enquiries and see clients who feel they “should not” have the need or the want to indulge in something they enjoy purely on the basis it is not socially acceptable.

However, when a sexual fetish becomes an issue, is obviously when it does become obsessive, an addiction, harmful to ones self or to another or others. Additionally there is the issue of whether the client can afford it, it is encroaching on their relationships or getting in the way of their lifestyle or future.

As you well know, the variance of sexual fetishes is never ending and may be from apparently mundane attributes which we might never see as sexually arousing through to better known terms of experiencing that one preference which somehow fulfills our needs.

The need for dominance, being subservient, visual or tactile fetishes like tights or pantyhose, physical fetishes like wrestling or female muscle worship, the sexual anticipation of visiting massage parlors or hiring high end escorts and so many others which vary and in a way give us something which we feel give us what we need in no other way anything else can. The point is – there should be no judgment as each of us in some way have a preference in our sexual makeup just same as preferring blondes, brunettes, short, tall, thin etc. It is just that those preferences have been deemed as “acceptable” by not only society but also the press.

When a client decides they need to deal with this sexual fetish, then the first step is to establish whether or not they need to in fact lose it altogether. Is it something which feels out of control?

The problem is that if ultimately you do not want to let it go altogether, then no treatment will work. No doctor, psychologist or any other therapist will be able to help if in fact there is resistance at some level in letting the fetish go. So, the first thing we have to do is to decide if you do in fact want to completely lose it, or in fact you want to keep it under control and be something you might like to indulge in occasionally instead of it taking over your life. That way – if there is agreement at some level, then you are able to conduct therapy effectively.

Some of the issues associated with fetishes are when they have in fact become an addiction. A continual need to have that feeling fulfilled which then takes over so much of your mental space and energy it is difficult to focus on any other area of your life.

Again, this is easy to deal with and with a combination of NLP, TLT and Hypnotherapy, depending on the need of the client, the compulsion and overriding need starts to reduce and then disappear.

One thing so many therapists forget about is that you are now creating a very large empty gulf and if in fact you do not gain agreement from the client as to how in fact to full that gap then the fetish or addiction/compulsion can then come back as it is the only thing which will full the void.

Also – fetishes which are not wanted can also be a product of other parts of the self which have not been developed or are formed by past life experience or learned behaviour in some way. For instance, a client who required severe domination to the extent of being cut and experience blood letting had in fact formed the connection of release and that pain from when he was young and had been involved in a car accident resulting in multiple fractures and severe pain. The pain then turned into a kind of “rush” as he put it and a release in a way and then he began to seek that same feeling from other avenues. The problem had begun when he needed to be cut and experience the pain to that degree which he knew was taking him into a place which was not beneficial for him. That is when he contacted me.

Some clients decide on something which is better for them like a renewed interest in self, doing something more productive for themselves or maybe taking part in another sexual activity which is less harmful or distracting for the client and they do not have the same compulsion towards.

The approach I have with clients is somewhat different from other therapists as we look for the connections and what the client is gaining from the fetish and what it gives them and find another way of giving them the same feeling of pleasure, belonging, elation, anticipation, release that would be missing and possibly create another compulsion if not dealt with.

So many therapists claim to be able to deal with fetishes but without understanding the client or understanding fetish and with the belief that a set treatment will “cure” them of their terrible affliction! I have to say that as yet, no one has yet shocked me nor have they presented anything other than a logical need or want based on their life experience and current requirements in order for them to feel whole.

So, if your preferences/fetishes have become unmanageable in some way then do seek help but first look at the reasons you are about to deal with and ask yourself if it is because you are looking for an apparent social acceptance if it is not hurting anyone else or yourself in any way?

If you would like more information about sexual fetishes and addictions then please go to:

www.emmajames.net

or email me at emma@emmajamesnlp.co.uk

About the Author:

Leading UK therapist with many years of research and patient results in eating disorders and weight management. Also, Emma James is a twice World Champion and current World Record holder and coaches many sports professionals in producing World winning results – just as she has proved it herself.

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Bondage-Radio T-Shirts and “The Damsels” CD Giveaway

6:32 PM in Syndicated by Jarl Mezentius

It’s been a while since we’ve done anything like this here at Bondage-Radio, but we’re going to do it again.

Bondage-Radio T-Shirts and “The Damsels” CD’s to Give Away.

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HOW TO ENTER:

Signup as a Bondage-Radio Member -> HERE

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HOW TO WIN:

Fill out your profile, Upload a Hot Photo, Connect with other fetishists around the world, and send a message to ADMIN saying “I WANT TO WIN”

That’s it! (actually, just registering is all you need to do, but the rest is a good idea.)

We’ll draw random members (with activity since the start of the contest) and we’ll give away FREE STUFF.

We’ll announce each winner in our forums, and on the air, so keep listening.

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by Admin

Adult Entertainment Expo

12:38 PM in Syndicated by Admin

The Adult Entertainment Expo offers show-floor booths, the latest in digital media, DVD’s, novelty items and adult paraphernalia, along with the opportunity to meet today’s adult stars.
LocationLas Vegas, Nevada
Date: Jan 8 – Jan 11

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by Admin

Adultcon

12:38 PM in Syndicated by Admin

Adultcon is a three day adult consumer event held twice each year in LA. It is open to the public and showcases the hottest porn talent and features the newest adult products and services.

LocationLos Angeles, California
Date: Dec 5 – Dec 7

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by Admin

Affilicon – Affiliate Marketing Conference & Exhibition

12:38 PM in Syndicated by Admin

The Affilicon Conference & Exhibition features two days of learning and discussion. Explore internet marketing trends, strategies, tactics and the most advanced and up-to-date internet marketing issues.
LocationShefayim, Israel
Date: Nov 24 – Nov 26

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