Bondage Radio

So you are into BDSM or you think that you may be into and have a problem with introducing your desires to your partner. What if BDSM is not acceptable for her or him? What if you turn your partner away? A lot of questions arise and many people stop at that point. I would like to encourage you to go ahead and give it a try, some stats may give you more confidence.

Some interesting stats on BDSM

Unlike you could think bondage and pain are very common in bedrooms all other the world, several researches show that up to 15% of population use BDSM practices on regular basis and almost 50% of people have a positive erotical reaction on pain. So the chances are your partner is craving for spanking and bondage even more than you do, but is hesitating just like you.

But how?

Ok, many people like it, but how do I ask my partner to try BDSM for the first time? The answer is as short as it’s hard. Just talk to your partner. You should be prepared for the discussion. If you don’t usually talk about sex and the things that turn you on, make it your habit.

Make a list of fantasies that you would like to try, keep it simple for the first time, and let your partner choose the things that may turn both of you on. Maybe you will have an additional list of you partner’s fantasies that you also would like to try. Sometimes people we think we know surprise us.

Don’t try it all at once. Yes, that latex whipping scene in metal bondage on a spaceship was very hot, but try to concentrate on one or two things that you desire most. You can try the sex on spaceship later anyway.

Safe words

Safe words are the other topic you should discuss before the BDSM session. Safe words in BDSM practice are used to stop or slow down the action. Sometimes the shouts “stop” and “no” can mean quite the opposite, especially during flogging or roleplaying, so you should choose the words that will not be commonly used during your sessions, something like “Japan” or “plum”.

Bondage

First option is to try some light bondage. Forget about huge metal constructions and St. Andrew’s cross you’ve seen in a movies on those sites. You don’t want you partner to run away in fear, do you? Although handcuffs from an adult online store are a good idea but I personally recommend trying something like a scarf or piece of cotton rope. Do not use pantyhose or silk scarf. They are too thin and can cut the blood circulation, so don’t use them until you got some expertise.

Tie your partner to a bedpost, a chair, a banister if you have one or just tie the hands behind the back. Bear in mind that in case of hands behind you can’t lay the partner on the back, it’s uncomfortable. Tease your partner with pain or pleasure, that’s your choice, surprise is a part of fun, but don’t forget the set limits.

Spanking

Most of pairs practicing BDSM use spanking at least as part of foreplay and it’s accepted as a common practice even by those who are not into BDSM, so why don’t you try it first. Bend you partner other the knees, or tie the partner to the bed to add tension and give a slap. Don’t rush, spank slow and easy at first, pay attention to partner’s reaction. Don’t push your partner too hard, in best case you should slow down before you hear the safe word.

In fact some people can wait and endure the pain just because they want your approval. Don’t abuse these good feelings, you need to find the pain limits of your partner based both on verbal and nonverbal reactions.

Whipping

Whipping is a more complicated matter than spanking as it involves using the tools like floggers, belts, whips and so on. Adult stores nowadays offer a wide variety of devices that can look hot for you, but don’t forget that they can scare off your partner. Try a soft flogger at first.

Choose the flogger with many wide tails, the wider the better. Make sure it’s made of soft leather or suede and try it on your own hand. Remember, this is all to make your partner feel comfortable and get him used to the BDSM techniques. Show the device to your partner before the session, let him or her get used to it.

As with spanking start slow and easy as you are not professional yet, be careful. Try to focus on buttocks as they are less vulnerable to an accidental damage. Be sure to read some additional literature on whipping technique as it is very important for your partners health.

Go on and try!

To sum it all up starting practicing BDSM with your partner is rather simple, so go ahead and try. I’ve prepared a short list to show you how easy every step is.

• Make a list of fantasies that you would like to try with your partner.
• Discuss the list and choose the things that turn both of you on.
• Set the safe words that will stop or slow down the session.
• Choose and buy the equipment that clicks with both of you (if you need it).
• Turn off the phones and try some BDSM action!
• Discuss the session with you partner.

I recommend you write a list of desires right now, open Notepad, MS Word, OpenOffice or whatever you have and do it, don’t waste your time. After that you can read some additional articles right here on EzineArticles. And do talk to you partner this week.

http://lesbianbdsm.kinky-thingy.com/bdsm-stats/

Author: Johan Tyros
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Pressure cooker

BDSM – Helpful information

In this article you will educate yourself about BDSM and in what way it can be used as stress relief for some.

Firstly, BDSM is short for for Bondage, Discipline and Sado Masochism. Additionally, it is short for Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism.

BDSM involves two or more people in several roles. Often, one person plays the dominant role while the other plays a submissive role. The dominating person administers pain to the submissive person by means of “torture”, beatings, and whippings. Chiefly, the submissive person enjoys increasingly being in bondage, while the dominant person enjoys the experience of power. There is a consensual arrangement between the parties, and thus even though it would appear that the submissive person is being forced to take the pain, both parties are experiencing pleasure. Therefore, it is easy to see how this technique can certainly help relieve stress. BDSM is often associated with scenes in sex magazines where it’s useful to create sexual tension.

You will find numerous types of BDSM, whereby the intensity of pain also may differ. In some kinds of BDSM, the activities involve mild pain or none at all, while others involve serious pain. In cases where the submissive person is experiencing intense pain, they are the ones which have some degree of control over the amount of pain he or she will take. It is not as if the person is being forced to take the pain.

While intense kinds of BDSM involve actual pain, less severe forms involve bondage, light caning, spanking, verbal abuse, or humiliation. Whatever forms of activities are involved in BDSM, the role-play has to be safe, consensual and controlled.

Many people do not understand the BDSM community. The SM part of the acronym BDSM (Sadism and Masochism) describes activities that are regarded as unpleasant by many people. Obviously, men and women who don’t grasp what BDSM means, can be quick to associate BDSM participants as freaks and perverts, since the activities and the names imply abuse and violence. In addition to the obvious Bondage and Discipline part of it, which we will come to later. Steps have been taken to give a more positive meaning to BDSM and this is how the acronym was arrived at.

Many more people are doing BDSM today than before. The interesting truth is that you may already be involving BDSM as part of your sex life without knowing it. Unlike back in the day, when BDSM was viewed negatively, many people are starting to realise the positive aspects of this lifestyle. It is easy to attach evil or dark connotations to BDSM when you first encounter the practice on movies, videos or magazines, but as you learn that it is not what it seems to be, you will start to view it more positively.

BDSM has become cleverly included in commercials globally. You may have seen commercials where Jeans manufacturers manipulate a form of BDSM in their adverts. Even music may be based on BDSM, such as Justin Timberlake “Sexy Back”, and “Master and Servant” Depeche Mode in addition to numerous others. BDSM crops up in every day life if you look for it.

As BDSM is becoming a lot more popular, companies are offering new products in this niche. The likes of Ann Summers now sell lots of BDSM equipment and clothes. Products are available for both the dominant and submissive role-plays. If you undertake some window-shopping in one of these brilliant shops, you will discover an assortment of whips, canes, leather clothing, guide books, and many other items. Additionally, you will find novelty products like blindfolds, handcuffs, and light chains. The shops are stocked to the brim during Christmas, and Valentines.

BDSM has been practised for quite some time but the most prominent advocate of BDSM lived in the 18th century. Should you study the history of BDSM, you will know that nothing has changed really except the name and popularity of this practice. Nobody knows how BDSM started. The French author, Marquis De Sade was known to be a passionate sexual sadist. Marquis has written many books about BDSM, although not much is well know about his acts. The most crucial element omitted from Marquis Publications is the need for consent in all BDSM activities. Consent is necessary from the submissive role players to get familiar with the act. Modern BDSM emphasizes the need for consent from both parties to obtain pleasure from one another through bondage or dominance.

Therefore, it is no coincidence that the word Sadist is derived from the name of the French author, Sade. Masochism is another term that is part of the BDSM acronym. This term is credited to the author of Venus In Furs, Sacher-Masoch.

An important feature of BDSM is role-playing. It has been described how people obtain pleasure from Dominance and Submission. People will also obtain pleasure from bondage. Numerous factors come into play during role-playing. A participant will experience of all kinds of physical sensations which might be triggered by erotic stimuli, emotions and psychological aspects which could bring stress relief. The Sadism Masochism section of BDSM (SM) involves the dominatrix playing as the Sadist, administering pain and humiliation, while the Submissive plays the Masochist, who receives the pain and humiliation.

BDSM activities where people role play are often held at private clubs or at fetish clubs like the Torture Garden Fetish Club in London. Groups of people can engage in these activities. Many people experience a sense of freedom or liberty while they are in bondage. This freedom relates to their day to day life, and their ability to take responsibilities and make decisions. You will find BDSM scenes that involve people who are powerful businessmen in real life, playing the role of a submissive. Although it is only for a short time, they learn something about being in a position of weakness. They will thus be able to relate better to their employees.

Imagine yourself being the Dominatrix in this role-play. In the real world, a businessman who runs a company and is totally anxious, and stressed, being the dominant person at the office may result in him being a submissive in a BDSM scene since the dominant one takes away the power which he has in real life. She becomes the boss, and treats him like an underdog (possibly similar to how he treats his employees). She takes on the power, so he submits his manhood, his dominant personality to her as he does not have to take responsibility for anything in the scene and the roles are reversed. You can be dominant in other areas of your business apart from with your employees. As an example, you can be dominant over your competitors.

Some people are just not capable of being dominant role in real life, and this may lead to stress if you are in a position that requires you to be dominant. When you are not dominant, you will lose control and power, and this may translate into low self-esteem and financial loss for your business.

BDSM is a form of therapy that can be applied to your business. People who are submissives in real life may want to learn how to be dominant. BDSM offers the perfect environment for your fantasies. Besides helping you to be successful in business, it will also help you to relieve stress by participating in a scene can be viewed as “playing”. In BDSM, you have your sphere of influence where you can exert control. It can also be a helpful therapy to businessmen who are looking for an emotional outlet. Instead of releasing negative energy against your employees or competitors, BDSM will provide a healthy channel for your pent up energy.

It has been discovered that the human body releases pleasure chemicals called Endorphins into the bloodstream during periods of pleasure, such as sex, when eating chocolate and during painful/intensely emotional or highly excitable scenes. So if enjoying BDSM releases Endorphins, it’s inevitable that it can be found to be useful as a stress reliever.

Kate J Ashley
http://www.freepersonals4u.com
http://www.0844Dating.com

Author: Kate J Ashley
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Pressure cooker

intimate young couple during foreplay in bed

Male orgasm, as in cards, never lets you know what hand you’ll be dealt next. “It’s all in the cards,” as they say, “until you lay down.” You know what I’m talking about. You stop panting after an orgasm, catch your breath a little bit, and your lover says, “Wow! What was that all about?”

“Geez, I don’t know.” You shake it off and try to remember before your orgasm. “It just came out of nowhere! The ends of my fingers are still tingling. It seemed like it would never end.” You shudder a little. “I’m still not sure it has, yet.”

There are face cards and there are numbered cards. Some male orgasms, I’d say qualify as a face card. The colors and design really stand out and you tend to put those guy sexual sensations in a category of their own.

As a writer, a student of male sexuality and an ordinary guy, I resist putting names and labels on something as dynamic, mysterious and fantastic as a guy’s orgasm. But let’s face it, our orgasms come in a variety pack and we can learn a lot about ourselves, our love making and our sexual growth if we just give a tad bid more attention to male sexual experience rather than “just getting one off.”

The Male Full Body Orgasm

This is the big kahuna of a guy orgasm. The male full body orgasm is most likely the model the dude above experienced. This is the kind you fall into rather than pump up to. She’s probably already come and you are enjoying the long ride of kissing, caressing and deep, slow thrusting that lasts long. You’re very relaxed, but incredibly aroused and surprisingly able to delay ejaculation. This is because you held back at the beginning of intercourse and your stimulation and focus wasn’t only on your penis. It was spread out. Now, it seems you can make love forever. And, you probably can.

This orgasm has an epicenter not necessary in your groin. It could be anywhere — your belly, your butt, your thighs. You won’t know till it comes. When the full body orgasm comes, it doesn’t seem to start with ejaculation, but a deep inner moan that increases in amplitude, and rolls like an earthquake reaching out to your extremities. It can begin to subside a bit, but don’t stop because there’s always more with this kind.

Male G-Spot Orgasm

The male G-spot orgasm is sometimes referred to as a prostate orgasm because your male G-spot is found in your prostate gland. If you slip a lubed finger into your rectum. You can feel the prostate as well as it’s wowing sensation. It’s just an inch or two in toward your front. Lots of guys use anal toys both in lovemaking and male masturbation to experience a male G-spot orgasm.

A male G-spot orgasm is spicy but deep like a rich red wine. For women, sexual experience is mostly inside, and we think of guy sex experience as only outside. With a G-spot orgasm, you experience that inside sensation that’s not entirely gained through penis stimulation. A nice benny to the G-spot orgasm is that they can easily be multiples which come and go like waves on a seashore.

Ejaculatory Orgasm

An ejaculatory orgasm is reliable. Men can summon up an ejaculatory orgasm from a few seconds to a matter of a few minutes. It’s the kind of orgasm that emanates either only from your penis or at most from your groin and not much beyond. Most of the pleasure you enjoy from an ejaculatory orgasm is from the gushing sensation you feel from the semen expelling from your penis. And the more the better.

Non-Ejaculatory Orgasm

Why would I not want to ejaculate? Because a non-ejaculatory orgasm allows you the privilege to orgasm, make love, masturbate or whatever else you like to do for as long as you want. Most guys experience a time period after ejaculation during which they really don’t feel much like sex. If you delay your ejaculation till later or till tomorrow, you enjoy non-ejaculatory orgasm.

The longer you make love, spread your focus, and relax your muscles, your orgasmic response will build. First you feel the fluttering in your belly or groin as you dangle on the edge of ejaculation, but you ease off and delay it, the sensations come more frequently and with greater intensity till you can say these are definitely orgasms — less intense, but orgasms. You play on the edge like a hawk on the wind till you decide you’ve had enough.

Contemplative Orgasm

You find yourself lost in orgasm in a place much bigger than you are. Contemplative orgasm is spiritual. You can’t define it so much by how it feels as you define it by where your focus is in the experience. If your focus is on something larger than a physical experience, and your desire to connect with someone outside of yourself, you’re edging into contemplative orgasm territory. Sadly, many of us bluntly divide our spiritual lives from sexual lives, but when you allow God to be present in your sexuality, you know that orgasm is undoubtedly spiritual.

Male Multiple Orgasm

Male multiple orgasms present themselves in almost all of the above experiences except possibly the ejaculatory orgasm. It’s like going to the dance. If you’re going to dance all the dances, then you’ll want to stay all night. Multiple orgasm isn’t likely to happen for you if you quit too soon. You’ve got to give it time, focus and allow yourself to fall into it. Like the dance, each one gets more fun.

Sean Christopher writes about sexuality and culture. Read his newest book Orgasmic Guy: Unleash the Hidden Truth. Sean’s books, articles, resources and his blog OG Talk: straight talk about male sexuality can be found by visiting http://www.orgasmicguy.com/

Author: Sean Christopher
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
How Electric Pressure Cookers Work

If anyone were to ask what ‘Dominance and submission’ is, they’d receive almost as many answers as people who practice it. Simply stated, though, most would agree that D/s consists of a consensual relationship that is based around a power exchange between two people. One person is the controlling one, known as the Dominant; the other person is the controlled one, and is known as the submissive (note that ‘Dominant’ is usually capitalised and that ‘submissive’ is not). The submissive gives a certain amount of ‘power’ to the Dominant over their lives. This can be as simple as the Dominant telling them what to wear each day, or can be as complex as them having to ask the Dominant for permission to even leave the room. The important thing to note here is that we are talking about consensual relationships. The rights of the submissive are not taken from them, they are given freely during a period of negotiation.

Total Power Exchange

Arguably, the ‘pinnacle’ of D/s relationships is a Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationship, where the submissive gives up all control to the Dominant. Total means just that. The Dominant controls every aspect of their lives from what they wear or eat, to where they go and who they see. There are many that claim to have this, but this Researcher has seen few real examples. It should be emphasised that this is only arguably the pinnacle of D/s relationships. The other side of the coin is that every D/s relationship is just as good no matter how much power is exchanged.

Some Terms

Before we go too much further, let’s define a few terms that exist within the D/s lifestyle:

• Dominant – The person who has been given some amount of control over the submissive. Other terms describing them are Dom and Domme.
• submissive – The person who gives some amount of control to the Dominant. Other terms describing them are sub, pet and slave.
• D/s – Dominance and submission. A power exchange relationship.
• Lifestyle – Generally those that practice D/s are part of ‘the lifestyle’. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a descriptive term.
• Vanilla – a non-D/s relationship.
• 24/7 – Living a D/s relationship 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To put it another way, you are always in a power exchange relationship.
• Scene – The best way to describe this is to think of a ‘scene’ from a movie. This is one interaction between a Dom and a sub. It doesn’t have to be sexual; all that is required is that a power exchange has taken place. Those not in a 24/7 relationship tend to have ‘scenes’ where the power exchange happens. Even those in 24/7 relationships can have scenes, where the exchange becomes deeper.
• Top – A person who Dominates for only a scene. If you think of it as a ‘one night stand’ in the D/s lifestyle you wouldn’t be quite correct, but it’s a good start. This doesn’t mean that the Top is a ‘Dominant’, just that the dominate for the one scene.
• bottom – A person who is submissive for only a scene. This does not mean the person is always a submissive, just that they are submissive for the scene. See ‘Top’.
• Switch – Someone who switches between the Dominant and submissive roles.
• Safewords – These are words that are used by either Dom or sub to slow down, or stop a scene. Having negotiated a safeword is very important. It means that if something is happening that makes either person uncomfortable, they can either back off a little, or stop.

A Few Myths

Let’s look at what a D/s relationship isn’t.

D/s Isn’t about Abuse

Though the point has already been made it’s important to emphasise that this article is about a consensual power exchange. Whatever happens to the sub, whatever demands are made of them, they have agreed to this. If they haven’t, if they never asked for this, or they don’t want this, then it’s an abusive relationship and is not the kind of relationship covered by this entry.

submissives Aren’t always Women

If your image of a submissive is a woman, no matter how she’s dressed, think again. There are a great number of male submissives out there.

submissives Aren’t Weak

If someone has to have someone else run their lives for them they must be weak, right? Wrong. Many submissives are quite powerful people outside their D/s relationship: lawyers, managers, business people, police, soldiers and so on. For some, being a submissive in the home, or merely in the bedroom, is a way of escaping from the normal pressures of being in charge.

D/s Isn’t about Kinky Sex

Sure, D/s couples often have kinky sex. Then again, vanilla couples often do too. What defines a D/s relationship has very little to do with the methods used, so much as the power exchange. A simple ‘no’ when a sub asks if they can have a drink can have as much ‘power’ as getting them to kneel.

Entering a D/s Relationship

When two people are about to enter a D/s relationship, the first step is negotiation. This is a period where no power exchange occurs, but is a discussion where the parameters of the relationship are discussed. How much power will the Dominant have over the submissive? What hard limits do both have; that is, to what activities are one or both opposed? What will be the safewords? What will be the period of the relationship?

Often after negotiation a contract is drawn up, setting out all of the parameters discussed. In this way there can be no misunderstandings.

Collars

In most Western marriages, the symbols of the marriage are the wedding rings worn by the happy couple. You can probably think of a collar meaning a similar thing to a wedding ring, although in a D/s relationship it’s more common for only the sub to wear a collar to show that they are owned by or bound to a Dom.

Collars come in all shapes and sizes, from a leather collar that is remarkably similar to that worn by pets, to elegant necklaces that could be worn at the classiest society ball. A collar is a symbol and is therefore as individual as the Dominant and submissive within the D/s relationship.

Why on Earth Would you Go through all This?

It seems a D/s relationship is an awful lot of work, doesn’t it? Negotiation, contracts, safewords before you even get to the relationship itself. Yes, it is a lot of work, but the rewards can be worth it.

At this point it should be noted that a D/s relationship is not for everyone. Most relationships, even vanilla ones, contain power exchanges. In some relationships one partner is always Dominant, in other relationships whoever is Dominant changes almost constantly. That, however, doesn’t mean that the whole relationship should become a D/s one. Some couples only practice D/s in the bedroom, others in the home, others all the time and some never.

Like all relationships, good communication is needed to keep a D/s relationship on track. The difference here, is that it is essential to the success of a D/s relationship. The basis of a D/s relationship is trust. This is not just the trust that neither partner will cheat, but the sort of deep trust where the partners will trust each other with their lives. For the submissive, they need to trust the Dominant with their physical and mental health; to trust that the Dominant will guide and protect them. For the Dominant this means trusting that the submissive is totally truthful with them, giving them all the information they need to make good decisions.

As the communication flows more freely and the trust grows, the entire relationship becomes deeper and more fulfilling. This also applies to a vanilla relationship, but there isn’t necessarily the same impetus to keep communication flowing.

Traps and Pitfalls

The submissive gives power to the Dominant. This means the submissive can open themselves to abuse. This risk can be lessened by keeping the following in mind. They’re not bad guidelines for vanilla relationships either:

• Don’t trust too easily. Trust is earned. Before giving someone power over you, make sure they can be trusted. Take time to learn about the person.
• Go slowly. Don’t be impatient for it all to happen at once. Take it in small steps.
• Be honest. Don’t say things just to please your partner. If you don’t like something, or are unsure, say so. By the same token, if you like it a lot, say so.
• If there is the smallest hint of abuse, back off. No matter how good your partner is in other areas, if they are abusive, leave. Sometimes we do hurt others by mistake, but if there is obvious abusive behaviour, either mental or physical, then leave.
• Remember that everyone is human, and thus can make mistakes. Don’t let a mistake ruin the relationship. Instead, talk about it openly, and try to learn something from it to help the relationship grow.

HNT courtesy of Neptune Blue

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #12? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Sometimes poly IS hard – The difficulties one faces in managing healthy interpersonal relationships, and the skills one employs in overcoming those difficulties, are the same whether you are monogamous or poly or something in between.

Artist and Model – I’m drawing her furiously along with everyone else in the class. I know her name is Janice because a long time ago we’d been acquaintances, then lovers for a night, and then I didn’t see or hear from her again.

His Boots – He’s my fix. I’m his addiction. Maybe we’re just each other’s junkies? I can never tell when i’m close enough to breathe him in I cease to care about anything else.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

I need a new highway….

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Nerds are NOT this season’s must-have accessory - Being a nerd doesn’t mean you grew up unpopular and tormented, that you have a high-paying job, that you like Star Trek, that you’re socially awkward, that you never exercise, that you run Linux on your computer, that you’re highly educated, that you have low self esteem, or that you have trouble getting dates.

See also: Pleasurists #71 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

31 orgasms, and that is just the foreplay
BDSM — Am I Abused?
Being Watched
Being a disappointment makes me feel like shit
Games I play with girls
“I want to be your whore”
Money in M/s
Scrabble the Jade Way
Sexualising ‘Sir’
Somehow

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Another Menage a Trois of Power
Confronting the bigots
porn, like sex work, defies easy generalisations
Thoughts on Owning my Butch Cock (Part 1)

Erotic Writing

A Dirty Girl with Needs
Blood Tint ~ Part 7
Dream on Part 2
His Birthday ~ Her Surprise!!
His Need part two
Hot and Wet
I Kissed a Girl…Deuxième Partie
It’s the simple things
It has been awhile…
Microfantasy Monday, week 72: the edge
Office Politics
Over the Weekend
sssgirls rock
Something Sexy. Confession #354
The Second Date
This photo…
The Haircut
Under 500: The Hungarian
Winner Takes All?
Wicked Wednesday: High Art

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Femme Crip Rant
Controlling Emotions
Consequences
Come on
Do You Suffer from Opportunistic Boyfriend Syndrome?
Eating Her Out
Essure to take off the Pressure
Hair
Letting Go
Life of a Sex Toy Addict
Naming the boy, Blue Balls
Transtastic: On Being Into Queer Women

Over the past few years we’ve had several different incarnations of the BondageRadio site. During last night’s backup and restore session (at oh god early in the morning) we found over 500 old registrations in an old member database that were “Stuck” (meaning they had registered, but the registrations hadn’t been processed)…

We quickly added these registrations into the current registration que and processed them in.

It’s hard to think of the proper ‘Oops, My Bad” thing to say to someone who’s be waiting over a year to become a member of BondageRadio’s community site, so I’m looking for comments on this post.

What do you, the members, think would be an appropriate apology for these ‘New’ members?

Jarl Mezentius

Media & BDSM

Media coverage is extremely important when it comes to the image the world has about any group in society. It may even be decisive. And as for any other group, this is true for the erotic power exchange world as well. Since erotic power exchange is attracting more interest in society, it is only logical the phenomena gets increased media coverage. In addition, the current trend – especially in audiovisual media – to try and cover more eroticism in general contributes extra to this trend.

Journalists trying to cover the subject are faced with various difficulties and complications – the most important being the complexity of the subject as well as the difficulty to find people who feel comfortable with talking about their most intimate emotions in mass media. Next to that, to an outsider it is not easy to understand the cultural differences within the group and the subject takes up quite a bit of research and/or pre-production time as well as space or air time to cover it in a more serious way.

“The scene” does not exist

Despite what general opinion would like people to believe, there is no such thing as “an EPE (or BDSM) scene”. Instead there are different cultures, different sexual preferences and most of all individuals and couples practicing or just fantasizing about power dynamics in an erotic setting. One of the main difficulties is that – as a result of the very individual determination of sexual behavior in general and with that erotic power exchange – it is extremely hard, if not entirely impossible to find common denominators. Hence talking to one or two people will only sketch THEIR views. These may be significantly different from others and are most certainly not THE views or opinions.

First of all, there are very distinct differences in culture, based on sexual preference. Homosexual EPE is very different in many aspects from its heterosexual equivalent. Homosexual men are – in their EPE-emotions – very different from homosexual women and within the heterosexual world the first main difference should be made between the Maledom/femsub (dominant man/submissive woman) and the Femdom(me)/malesub (dominant woman/submissive man) cultures. When concentrating on the heterosexual “world” only, one of the major differences is the fact that the Femdom(me) culture is dominated by women, who have made a profession out of their nature; a phenomena that is almost non-existent in the Maledom/femsub culture (although there are professional submissive women and -albeit extremely few – professional dominant men).

Most of the literature available is about homosexual erotic power exchange, where power dynamics are different, the culture is much outward oriented and – although this a dangerous generalization – generally speaking, more rough. In addition, there are many technical differences between homosexual and heterosexual EPE. Another very important consideration is that sexuality between members of the same sex is entirely different from sexuality between members of the opposite sex. Beyond these major variances, there are many other heterosexual-specific concerns, such as the fact that a heterosexual couple will usually be confronted with having to raise children. It is, therefore, impossible to rely on available literature when it comes to form an undistorted opinion on heterosexual erotic power exchange.

The image of erotic power exchange is, to a large extent, generated by both pornography on one end and one-sided, dysfunction-oriented clinical and scientific research. Hence the picture the media paint – for understandable reasons – is a picture very few erotic power exchange people would recognize. One of the main reasons for this sullied view of EPE is the fact that it is difficult for media to get people to talk about their emotions. The majority of people interviewed – since they are usually the only ones available – are people who are commercially active in the erotic power exchange world – predominantly dominatrixes. These people usually and again understandable, have a one-sided image. Professional EPE-activity is a commercial enterprise with the aim to make profit, not to express the person’s own feelings towards a partner. Since the vast majority of EPE-professionals are dominatrixes, they will attract a very specific type of person, in particular submissive men. Very few of the clients a professional dominatrix has, have an active erotic power exchange relationship with their partner. And, the professionals interviewed have an entirely different agenda. Their motive is not to give unprejudiced information about their subject. Their first objective is to attract (more) clients and the immediate second motive is to make sure they stand out from their colleagues.

A picture based on alternate motives

Unfortunately, the EPE image is predominantly influenced by several elements all of which have ulterior motives. Non of them have had or currently have the objective to communicate unprejudiced information. Let’s make an interesting list of the four most influential factors on the image of erotic power exchange:

Science

The majority of scientific publications on the subject originate from the psychological/psychiatric field. None of these publications deals with the power exchange between healthy, well-adjusted people, capable to make safe, sane, consensual, well-informed and conscious decisions. Instead, all these publications deal with people seeking help (usually from the author) and have been written primarily to advocate either one specific opinion or one specific treatment by one specific therapist. Unfortunately, there is no broad, large scale research available on the phenomena of EPE. It is estimated that as much as 30 percent of the adult population has erotic power exchange fantasies and is (potentially) active in this area. The largest group that has ever been the subject of research is a group from approximately two hundred people from one country. This can hardly be called representative for the world-wide group, hence all conclusions should not be projected on the entire population. Unfortunately, this happens all too frequently.

Furthermore, much of the available scientific research available and quoted, is extremely outdated. This is especially true for politicians, legislators and lawyers in many countries, who will go back and cite research that is at least thirty or forty years old. Whereas no court or scientific body in the world would accept other (semi)medical data that old as a basis for judgment, when it comes to erotic power exchange this is still generally accepted.

Pornography and pseudo-experts

These two groups are mentioned in one header deliberately because pseudo-experts predominantly style themselves on the pictures painted by pornography, sometimes cleverly validating themselves and their views by misquoting scientists. Both pornography and pseudo-experts have only one objective: to sell as many books, articles, magazines or videos and CD’s as they possibly can. Erotic power exchange-related pornography is mainly sold to people who are NOT active in erotic power exchange. Much of what is sold is – unfortunately – quite often mistaken for information, especially by people who are new to the subject. The picture painted is not meant to give information, but instead, is meant to indulge fantasy. In these situations fantasy does not have to become reality, and when it comes to erotic power exchange, hardly ever does fully.

Media

Without making any judgments here, the media plays an important role in the image-building. Next to the difficulties sketched above – the fact that it is indeed extremely difficult to depict a clear image of EPE and the unintentional effect of dominatrixes – it is obvious that excess-oriented journalism does not help and, again, does not have the objective of communicating factual and independent information, but has the objective of selling copy as well as entertaining.

The “community” itself

Even though the various support groups put a lot of effort in trying to inform and educate, their efforts reflect the average lack of experience in mass communication as well as the variety of opinions that even the EPE community itself holds. None of the support groups, not even larger national groups like the USA National Leather Association, have any critical sway in the EPE community, compared to the number of people interested in the subject. This is again the result of both the variety of opinions held as well as the different cultures. Individual subgroups are only just finding out they have a different identity from other like-minded people. This is new and somewhat disturbing to many and it is difficult for groups as well as individuals to find and identify with a “new” identity.

These support groups are small. They do not have one-tenth of the budget, that scientists and especially pornography producers can use. There for it is a very uneven battle, trying to fight the misinformation with little more than a personal computer and a xerox-machine, when resources in the pornography industry are huge.

Finally, there are the well meant efforts of individuals, especially on the Internet, to try and build personal home pages that provide “information”. Such information is usually highly individual (and as such useful for identification purposes) and of little or no relevance for a more general informational approach.The bottom line is that the information/misinformation ratio is about 10:90. It is no wonder the image the outside world has is the wrong image; an image that has very little to do with the day-to-day practice of erotic power exchange.

Author Hans Meijer is the chairman of the Powerotics Foundation, an organisation dedicated to providing quality information about alternative lifestyles.

Author: Hans Meijer
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: WordPress plugin Guest Blogger

Sensual touching or caressing is a like a form of artful expression. Close your eyes and picture yourself painting a picture, using only the softest brush stokes that bring out the soft hues of your color. See yourself painting a pattern on your partner’s body using your fingers and hand to develop a soft color design. Sensual touching/caressing, is designed to relax or relieve the stress of a long day you or your partner may be feeling, it is not necessarily sexual, but it can be used to arouse and stimulate your partner, in one of the most fantastic intimate experiences they have ever had,.

After years of practical experience on my Master – husband and some research into the subject, I have developed my own way of using sensual touching / caressing. You may know your partner better then he or she may know themselves, you can develop your own unique way of touching / caressing the right spots on your partner, to reach that most relaxing, moaning and, for them, almost purring sensations to lose all thoughts of the day and be asleep in no time, or to stimulate and arose their sexual desires until your partner is extremely aroused that the slightest touch to his body excites him. You can arose your partner to the point that one type of caressing can have them ready to explode, while another type of caressing can prolong their / pleasure  into an evening of fantastic sex for both. This method is easy to learn and needs no special tools except your own hands. Using flat palms, finger tips and your finger nails in various ways is quite effective in creating the perfect effect for relaxation or arousal for you and your partner.

First step: Set the scene for the room.

Rather you are doing the caressing for relaxation or sexual arousal, set up the room to include your other senses. Stimulating sight, sound and scent can play a big part in the way you perform your technique. This step can be done before your partner gets home from a long day or you can do it together in a way you both are happy. This should be your first step, because after you perform the second step, you may not want to take the time to set the mood for the room before starting your scene.

Here are a few ideas for setting the room.

• Set the lighting to your comfort zone. One item I found most enjoyable was a simple humidifier. It not only created relaxing light changes but I could also add scented oils to the water. This one item could then be used for the comfort of two of your senses, sight and smell. By placing a little lavender oil (or your favorite relaxing scent) in the humidifier, works great.
• Set the temperature in the room where you are most comfortable.
• Your sense of smell, use scented candles, incense, potpourri, scented oils, which ever is your favorite relaxing or stimulating scent.
• Sound, your sense of hearing. Put on some of your favorite music or whatever sound you can relax too the best or arouses you the most. Soft music or sounds of nature I found most relaxing. For some of you no sound at all is very relaxing.
• Remember you are setting the scene that bests suits you and your partner for whichever reason you are performing the sensual touching/caressing.

Step Two: Getting you and your partner ready to relax.

Get comfortable before starting any scene with your partner, if one of you is uncomfortable with how things are set up, then the experience will not be as enjoyable. Find that comfort Zone, what works best for both of you? If you have been together as a couple long enough, then most likely you will know how to Find and Stay within Each Others Comfort Zone.

1. Experiment with different things you can do together to set the scene, and make it an easy part of your daily routine before bed, so that it not only feels relaxing, but it also looks and smells relaxing.
2. One idea that worked well for us, was taking an evening shower together. Besides having a clean body to caress afterwards, it gives both of you some good bonding time with an early start on the caressing by helping each other bathe. Speaking for myself, I found it most enjoyable, comfortable and arousing, bathing my husband in the shower. Being there with him and caressing his naked body with a soapy bath puff, was enjoyable for both of us. That is just one method to start the scene for you and your partner.
3. Clothing;  Clothing is optional, decide rather you want to wear some kind of comfortable clothing or no clothing at all, by this I mean wearing something that is not only comfortable, like boxer underwear or panties. If you are a bit on the bashful side about being totally naked, then a little clothing will keep you in your comfort zone. The less clothing the better, as you will want to have most of your partner’s body bare to perform your touching/caressing technique. For the best experience no clothing at all is recommended. But remember, if you are caressing your partner to relax him, if he usually wears something to sleep in, make sure to have the items ready for him or her to put on before the touching/caressing puts them to sleep. I found it quite difficult to put my husbands sleeping pants on after he fell asleep from the caressing.

Now that you have the room in the right setting, its time to pick your spot to perform the sensual touching/caressing. You can use the bed or the floor especially if you have soft carpeting. I prefer using the bed as it offers the best comfort, plus if your partner falls asleep; he is already in the bed.

For the purpose of explaining this technique lets say we are using the bed. After you get your partner lying on the bed, (you can start with either side first, facing up or down is optional) position yourself in a comfortable way, either sitting or laying down close to your partner. Closeness to your partner is part of the technique, so lay or sit as close to him or her as is comfortable and still giving you a good position to work your sensual magic. Your comfort is as important as your partners.

Practice using your hands for a very light and soft touch. Start with flat palms caressing very softly, as if you were rubbing an infants tummy. Let’s say your partner is lying on his of her belly. Starting at the shoulders begin to gently to caress across his back very softly with your palms, moving your hand across his back from one side to the other working your way down to the buttocks, the caress your way back up to his neck. Extend and spread your fingers and work your hand through his hair caressing his scalp, letting your fingers slide through his hair for several seconds. Then work you hand back down to his back, this time caressing lengthwise up and down his back, continuing along the legs, all the way to the feet and back up again. Repeat this step for several minutes to sensitize and stimulate your partner’s sense to touch. Than have him turn over and repeat the same technique across his chest, around his neck, working your way down his belly over the tops of his legs to the feet then back up again.

The fingertips can now be used excite your partners sensation even more. Using just the tips of your fingers begin moving them over his skin very softly tracing different designs in several directions across your partner’s body.

Example: Draw different sizes of the figure eight across his back.

That is just one example, you can also do circles, straight lines or run your fingers along the lines and curves of your partners back as if you were tracing out each individual muscle and curve of your partners body. This technique can be done on the back, chest, legs, arms and even the face, just about anywhere on your partner’s body you can run your fingers over. This type of caressing/touching will begin to heighten the senses even more then the flat of your palms, from the stimulation created over the surface of the skin. Changing the amount of the pressure of your touching/caressing from soft, medium to a bit harder will cause an increase the flow of blood to the surface of the skin, thus increasing the sensation of pleasure your partner receives. This technique not only feels wonderful, it is also fun to do, unless your partner happens to be ticklish, if so you may not get to the point of using your fingertips and fingernails, if your partner feels like he’s being tickled to death. Use the fingertip technique for several minutes then switch to the fingernails.

Using your fingernails softly trace up and down your partners back, then softly scratch from side to side across his back, then caress the scratches back down with the flat of your palms. Depending on what your partner likes will determine how hard or light you will be able to use your fingernails on his skin. This can be done on any part of your partner’s body that he feels comfortable letting you scratch with your fingernails. This technique will stimulate the blood flow even more increasing the sensation of pleasure for your partner. Do not be alarmed if you see light scratch marks, just remember to be cautious and not scratch so hard that you break the skin open which can cause bleeding. That can ruin the whole routine you have worked up too, unless your partner is into that type of pain/pleasure. Remember to follow each scratching session with the flat of your palms smoothing it back down, in this way it completes the sensation you are trying to achieve.

At this point, you are at a good position to choose to continue the caressing your partners body for the relaxation effect,  or move on to the next step which will arouse and stimulate you and your partner for some great sexual fun.

Step Three: Arousing your partner for a fantastic sexual experience.

Caressing your partner’s genital area is optional; this step depends entirely on the person and what they like. This step can and most times will be quite arousing for you and your partner. Use one or two fingers to gently trace around the edges of the genital area at first. Trace small circles or straight lines around the edge first, working your way closer to his sex, (I will refer this step as if performing the technique on a man, if doing this for the female partner, the fingers would be sliding in and out of the lips of her pussy) tracing circles around his balls then up around his cock as if you were drawing an outline of his cock in whatever position it happens to be in, without moving the cock..  Then caress away from the genital area moving back down the legs and up the side of the legs back to the belly and chest, all the way to the neck. This step will arouse your partner with anticipation for more and produce a hard cock or a moist pussy. After a minute or so caressing the legs and chest make your way back to the genital area, again tracing lines around the balls and cock only this time lightly, as soft as a feather let your fingers caress along the shaft of his cock, then down around each testicle before moving back up the cock again.

Now by this time you stimulate your partner into a more erotic frenzy for some sexual play. It all depends on how both of you feel and what goal you are attempting to achieve, relaxation from a hard day or some fantastic sexual bonding.

Review:

I prefer starting with my partner on his back first, but you can do either side first.

Start with a flat palms first caress working your hands over the full length of his body front and back, including running your fingers through his hair several times.

Work the flat palms in straight motions down his back across his buttocks all the way down his upper leg as far as you can reach comfortable, without have to change your position.

Shift your position if necessary to reach the lower parts of the legs and feet. But remember, your comfort while performing the touching/caressing is just as important as your partners, who is receiving the touching/caressing.

I would usually choose to caress the upper parts of his body well before shifting my position to reach the lower parts of his legs and feet.

Using just your fingertips, begin moving them over his skin very softly tracing different designs in several directions across your partner’s body.

Using your fingernails softly trace up and down your partners back, then softly scratch from side to side across his back, then caress the scratches back down with the flat palms.

Know matter who is the giver and who is the receiver, either way, it works great for both partners as a unique bonding method that will enhance your intimacy together. It will also add spice to your life while bringing you closer together. Massage oils or lotions are not necessary for this type of touching/caressing and so it is best to not use them as it is only light touching and not massaging. The oils and lotions can change the affect of what you are attempting to do.

This paper is a work in progress, thanks for enjoying it. Asha`di

Written by:
Asha`di
2007 ©

01 Instant Gratification 2 Instant Gratification
03 Down Low 2 Down Low
02 Champagne & Cocaine [Explicit] 2 Champagne & Cocaine [Explicit]
04 Animal 2 Animal

Biography:
Cheeks (born Bradley C. Bell; October 4, 1985) is an American multimedia artist based out of Los Angeles, California. Born and raised in Dallas, Texas, he began his career at an early age doing commercials and theater. Cheeks studied film and acting before branching out to write, perform and produce electro pop music in 2008.

Cheeks released his sophomore EP, Glambition, on September 1, 2009, independently. The EP reached number 3 on iTunes and number 8 on the Amazon electronica charts on its day of release. In addition to music, Cheeks continues to produce a variety of mixed media content including socio-satirical videos on both his You Tube channel, GoCheeksGo, and his website, Cheekstv.com. A series of podcasts, Cheeks: Unbuttoned, can be found on his own social network, Cheektopia.

Early Life And Training

Cheeks began showcasing his interests in entertainment as a young child in Dallas, Texas. His aunt, a 5th grade teacher, nurtured his talents and urged him to perform songs for her class by artists such as Paula Abdul and the Beach Boys. He was cast in several commercials and theater productions during these early years. He developed an interest in film production while attending high school; eventually forming a film club which allowed other students that shared common interests an environment to hone their skills.

Following high school, Cheeks decided to move to Los Angeles, California in 2004 to develop his knowledge of the entertainment industry. He studied film production with a strong interest in editing at Los Angeles City College. During this time he began making short horror films and music videos, this would later lead to experimentation with his own music.

Cheeks continued his studies at The Second City Training Center, an improv-based sketch comedy theater and training center with an alumni list that includes John Belushi, Steve Carrell and Tina Fey to name a few. He performed in a graduate show, Stereotypecast, a humorous exploration of the way minorities are viewed by the mainstream.

Television Leads To Inspiration

In addition to his early commercial roles, Cheeks appeared in 2006 on MTV in Why Can’t I Be You?, a reality show featuring ordinary people wishing to gain self improvement and emulate characteristics of others more outgoing and confident than themselves. Cheeks coached his pupil on techniques for building a stronger self image. This appearance would become the catalyst that allowed Cheeks to discover his ability and desire to motivate others to gain their own self awareness through positive affirmations; he would later utilize his social network account on Twitter to spread motivational messages of hope and love.

Character Roles

Cheeks continued to pursue his love of acting in several independent projects. He collaborated with Dana Lauren, an actress and producer, playing a character named Chad in the internet based show Bruno’s; a satirical series based on the true adventures of working in a wacky restaurant. The series was launched on Roband.tv.

In 2008 Cheeks landed the role of Basil in Lushes, directed by Ash Christian of Fat Girls (2006) fame. The film chronicles the tale of two “Transtastic” drag queens, Cork (Ash Christian) and Desi (Parker Torres) that have set out to make a name for themselves in the formidable bar scene of the West Coast. Cheeks portrayal of Basil, the arch nemesis of Cork and Desi, received critical acclaim during its 2009 run at Frameline Film Festival, a San Francisco based LGBT film showcase by reviewer Jay C. Bird “Basil…performed with such perfect sexual ambiguity in style, fashion, manner and humor”. The short film was also featured at Outfest 2009 in Los Angeles, CA and at the Indianapolis LGBT film festival.

Following his success in Lushes, Cheeks appeared in the comedic Doormat: It’s a Boy!, a digital film series by writer/director Erik Larson. Doormat is a three part series based on the adventures of Aunt Doreena, played by Uncle Alice, as she adjusts to life in her new neighborhood. In part 2 of the series, Cheeks plays Xoie, a character with a couple of secrets to hide, the new girlfriend of Auntie Doreena’s favorite nephew, Buckley, played by Christopher Logan. The series premiere is yet to be announced.

In 2010, Cheeks will appear in the thriller, Dreamkiller, as Julian Stoli. The film is set for a limited theatrical run beginning in January.

Cheeks is currently developing a webisode series, Frontmen, for release in Summer, 2010.

Internet: Building A Following

In 2008, Cheeks created his own You Tube channel, GoCheeksGo, focusing a large portion his efforts on the development of Internet based content after recognizing the opportunities afforded to progressive artists through consistent exposure to new audiences and the ability to spread his work through viral video.

His popularity grew as he introduced such comedic videos as It’s Hard Out Here for a Cheeks, 7 Things to Hate About Me, and the socio-satirical commentary on Miss California DETHRONED! capturing the attention of celebrity internet blogger Perez Hilton.

In June 2009, Cheeks urged his fans to follow him into the 21st century by launching a new video, Things You’d NEVER Twitter, to officially launch his Twitter account, @GoCheeksGo. It was on Twitter that Cheeks began to provide followers with motivational affirmations encouraging people of the power of positive thinking. Following the launch, Cheeks placed 8th in overall competition for the Mr. Twitter Universe, an online contest where followers nominated their favorite Twitter personalities. One month later, followers voted him to a 3rd place finish in the Ultimate World Mr. Twitter contest. Currently Cheeks is ranked as 25th most popular account in Hollywood by Twitterholic.com.

In August 2009, on the heels of this surge in popularity, Cheeks founded his own social network, Cheektopia, a community where members are encouraged to ‘share, create, explore’ through self expression and connectivity with one another. In September 2009, a podcast series, Cheeks:Unbuttoned, was launched on the network, resulting in membership levels tripling in the first day of release.

Music emerges

Cheeks began experimenting with music as a medium while still pursuing his studies in film and acting. With such early musical influences as Depeche Mode, Britney Spears, and Madonna, the resulting sound emerged in the electro pop genre. This early experimentation captured the attention of writer/director Liz Adams who commissioned Cheeks to co-write and record the title song for her horror short Side Effect; a film that went on to win awards at film festivals around the world.

In September 2008, Cheeks independently released his first EP, The Boy From Venus, on iTunes. Through self promotion on his MySpace page, Cheeks began to build a sizable following for his music.

Encouraged by positive feedback and digital album sales, Cheeks went to work on what would become his second independent album. On September 1, 2009 his sophomore EP, Glambition, was released worldwide. The EP began climbing the electronica album charts on iTunes and Amazon within hours of release; capturing the attention and praise by fellow artist Adam Lambert, “GREAT hard electropop!!!!”. LA Celebrity Examiner music critic Viviane Feilhaber states “The four song EP blends synthetic production, unrepentant naughtiness, and pulsating beats…”.

On September 27, 2009, Cheeks released a collection of ringtones on iTunes and Voeveo titled, Put a Ringtone On It; a mixture of whimsical and inspirational messages for cell phones.

Cheeks released a video for the single “Down Low” on his You Tube channel that was well received by fans and critics. A video for the single “Instant Gratification” was released on January 29, 2010.

Personal Life

Cheeks dated American Idol Season 8 runner up Adam Lambert from 2006-2008, before Lambert’s rise to fame. Their relationship was publicly chronicled when photographs of them kissing surfaced, placing it at the center of a national controversy and landing the story on the The O’Reilly Factor. Additional pictures later surfaced including images of Cheeks and Lambert performing together as an act at the 2006 Burning Man Festival. Pictures of them at the 2007 Blue Blood Halloween Party in Hollywood were published in the April 20th, 2009 issue of Star Magazine and the June 25th, 2009 edition of Rolling Stone. Reports later surfaced on Geno’s World that Cheeks had declined multiple offers to sell details of their relationship to the press.

1. What is a sexually transmitted disease or STD?

Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) is the politically correct term for what used to be called “veneral disease (VD)”. These are diseases that are transmitted through or as the result of sexual activity (not just sexual intercourse).

There are no BDSM specific sexually transmitted diseases but like any other sexual activity BDSM activity CAN spread STDs.

Heterosexuals are a lot less STD aware than the homosexual world is, but they should be just as educated on the subject. As a result, the current risk groups for any STD are heterosexual women.

There are many different sexually transmitted diseases and certainly not all are directly related to the genital organs.

General information is freely and widely available from doctors, hospitals, first aid centers, pharmacies and of course on the Internet.

2. How does one get STD infected?

Some sexually transmitted diseases are viruses, others are caused by bacteria, some by plain and simple dirt. As a result, there are different ways, in which people can get STD infected. An important form of STD infection is the contact between bodily fluids (most importantly blood, sperm, vaginal fluids and mother milk). This is especially true the most lethal ones in the Western world: such as Hepatitis (around in different varieties) and HIV (Aids). As a result, contact with bodily fluids should be avoided by anyone who has more than one partner (even if that is only incidental) and partners who have not been solely together for MANY years (not months). Incubation time (the “lead” time before the actual infection shows itself), in the case of HIV for example may be as much as five to seven years.

Another well known cause of STD infection is lack of hygiene. In the BDSM world especially quite a lot of personal hygiene is neglected. Toys that have been on the floor or in a toy bag should not be used unless cleaned and – when brought into contact with the genital area – protected. One should wear latex gloves during penetration, especially when in a (more) public environment.

3. What do I do when I (think I) am STD infected?

There is only one answer: visit your doctor as soon as possible. Bear in mind that your doctor is not there to judge you, but to cure you. And yes, doctors have seen it all before and many times. If you feel troubled by having to go to your doctor, turn to a first aid center or a specific STD center if there is one in your area.

Every STD spreads like wildfire! They are among the most contagous diseases. In most cases if you are infected, you do not only have a responsibility to yourself, but also to your partner(s) and to an extent to you entire environment.

4. Can an STD be cured?

Some can, and some cannot. There are no cures yet for HIV, hepatitis C and various forms of herpes, for example. HIV and hepatitis C are potentially lethal. So is syphylus, but there is a good cure for this disease.

5. Does an STD only effect me?

Every STD will effect you but most will also effect your partner and maybe others (such as unborn children) if not properly taken care of. Sometimes an STD can be the cause of dead babies or incurable medical problems. Some will not really effect the bearer, but will badly effect the partner and – for example – cause infertility (in males especially).

6. How do I protect myself against STD infection?

Your first line of defense is strict personal hygiene. Wear latex gloves and use condoms, also on penetrating toys, such as dildos and vibrators. Regularly clean equipment and – for example – wash bondage ropes.

The second important line of defense is to educate yourself. Again, know what the risks are and avoid them.

7. Does an STD spread quicker, because of BDSM activity?

The BDSM community is very open. It is not unusual to temporarily exchange partners, people switch partners frequently and such things as BDSM parties open an easy risk for infection. Besides, BDSM activity implies much more physical contact than most other forms of sexual behavior and there is the frequent use of toys and equipment. So, there indeed are more opportunities for infection, compared to a standard vanilla relationship. As a result – although no real research has been done in this area – there should be a higher risk of spreading an STD.

8. What BDSM activities are likely to spread an STD?

All forms of penetration, genital or by means of toys, fingers, fists or the mouth are activities that can transmit an STD. In terms of BDSM there are also other activities. Whipping may occasionally cause small superficial skin wounds and any breakage of the skin is a serious crack in the bodies main line of defense against diseases, including many STDs. Bondage ropes, used in the genital area, are a well known vehicle for sexually transmitted diseases and so are internal toys (vibrators, dildos, Ben Wah balls, vibrating eggs, etcetera). Nipple clamps may also cause small skin wounds. In general, BDSM activity is much more physically intens and physically demanding than most other forms of sexual activity. As a result, you should be more careful.

9. Why do governmental and health organisation hardly ever mention BDSM-acitivity in their STD information?

Most forms of what is generally known as “alternative sexuality” (such as BDSM) are overlooked by governmental and health organisations, when it comes to information and education about STD risks. The reason for this is largely in the fact that such organisations simply will not believe there are that many practitioners and that such organisations have no clue about BDSM. “Alternative sexuality” in the entire education of health care professionals usually takes up as much space (and attention) as ONE PAGE IN ONE BOOK! That is, if alternative sexuality is being mentioned at all!

10. How can I help to inform people about STD risks?

If you happen to be active in a local BDSM community, or for example have a personal website about BDSM, try and devote some time and space to sexually transmitted diseases occasionally. For example, next to workshops about flogging, bondage or needle play, a workshop about STD prevention will be very helpful. But, since this is not a popular subject you may also want to settle for having leaflets available, writing something in your magazine or newsletter if you have one and putting information on websites.

Hans Meijer, a Dutch former journalist and government spokesmen, is the chairman for the Powerotics Foundation. This organisation is dedicated to provide quality information about alternative lifestyles.

Author: Hans Meijer
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Guest blogger