Bondage Radio

Why are men sexually attracted to lesbians? I have asked a lot of people-self-identifying men and women-for their take on this and these are the theories I have heard:

*Men are jealous; they don’t like the idea of a woman with another man.
*Men don’t want to see other guys’ dicks because they are terribly homophobic.
*One woman is hot, two are hotter; Their eyes glaze over as they think about just how hot they would be.

Why don’t women have an equivalent obsession with gay men? I’ve had at least one female friend describe two men kissing-kissing mind you, not having sex-as “titillating,” but I don’t think that qualifies as a widespread turn-on.

I guess the answer to this depends on which theory you believe. Maybe women are not as jealous as men or maybe they are just not as homophobic. Who knows?

Perhaps the real question is: “Why have men turned lesbians into their fuck fantasies and what are the consequences?”

Those three theories could still apply, but here is an alternate one: Straight culture-straight male culture in particular-seems to deny female sexuality. The conundrum is that if two women are having sex and there are no straight men around-the way I assume most lesbians do have sex-the only logical conclusion is that-gasp-women actually like sex.

Traditionally, women aren’t supposed to like sex and norms of heterosexual dating have served to reinforce this. For example, have you ever wondered why a man is supposed to make the first move on a date, why women who have a lot of sex with different partners are “easy” and “loose” while men who sleep with lots of women are “players” and “ladies’ men” or why women are the ones who are expected to say no?

I admit that some of the norms I just referred to are changing and perhaps straight people are slowly accepting that fine, upstanding women-not just prostitutes and porn stars-have sexual appetites that are completely natural and healthy. These behaviors are obviously vast generalizations that do an injustice to many straight folks. I submit, however, that these norms are still fairly typical among a large proportion of the population, evidenced by the fact that women are still called whores and sluts and are derided by both men and women for embracing their sexual desires while men are lauded for embracing theirs.

The point is that straight culture-especially among men-generally rejects female sexuality. When confronted by it in the form of lesbianism, they twist it into something they can control and own-lesbian porn-which contorts sexualized women into the sexual playthings men want.

As for the consequences, there are many, but in my opinion the main one is that women’s sexuality, particularly in the form of lesbianism, is not taken seriously. But that’s a whole other issue.