Bondage Radio

Calling someone who only dates within his race a racist is like calling a gay man a misogynist.

By STEVE KOVAL
Friday, November 19, 2004

“I LOVE YOUR sweet black ass.”

That’s what the white guy said to his black lover after sex in a scene in the fantastic new film, “Brother to Brother.”

The film tells the story of a black gay art student thrown out of his parents’ home after his father sees him kissing another man. But that awkward scene elicited nervous laughter from our mixed-race audience.

The black lover immediately pulled away. He wanted to be thought of as a person rather than as the object of his lover’s fetish for black men.

A white friend of mine who exclusively dates black men was very uncomfortable with that scene. Just as the white lover in the film did not understand why what he said was objectionable, my friend was similarly baffled.

He asked me where the line is drawn between feeling attracted to men of a certain race and objectifying them. Is it possible or desirable to change what type of man we find attractive?

AS SOMEONE IN an interracial relationship, I could understand my friend’s discomfort. It’s never been an exclusive thing for me in dating or hooking up, as it has with my friend. For me, “hot” transcends race. If I’m a pig, then I’m an equal opportunity pig.

Although I’m not hotly pursued very often these days, I had the experience a few years ago of being seduced by someone of a different race. He was very attractive and popular. I was flattered by the attention. But I learned later that he had a thing for Jewish guys.

I didn’t feel so special or flattered after I discovered I was just another one of the “Chosen People” to him — double entendre intended. My experience of being the object of a “Jew fetish” helped me relate better to the black lover in “Brother to Brother.”

Several years ago I dated an Asian man who bitterly complained on the first date: “The only thing that white men want is to touch my smooth Asian skin.” You better believe I was never going to comment on his skin after that crack.

Yet after the first time we slept together, he insisted that I tell him how wonderful his skin was. And, indeed, his skin was very smooth, and he relished me telling him so. He might have complained about white guys objectifying him, but at the same time he invited it and enjoyed it.

I’M NOT SURE we can make a conscious change in what type of man we find attractive. I think we’re happier when we are coupled with people to whom we’re naturally drawn.

I’m not saying that only the packaging matters, but there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging our physical types, even if they involve a little racial profiling.

People who brag about how they have “evolved” beyond mere physical attraction protest a little too much. They remind me of the ex-gays who claim to have evolved beyond their same-sex attraction.

In today’s world with embarrassingly frank cyber-profiles just a click away, it’s easy to find someone with complementary tastes.

I can’t get too upset about personal ads and profiles where someone eliminates a whole race or races from the dating pool. There are plenty of black guys only interested in other black guys, white guys only interested in black guys and vice versa.

Is that racist, or honest, or both? Wouldn’t calling someone who only dates within his race a racist be like calling a gay man who refuses to date women a misogynist?

ABOUT SEVEN YEAR ago, I began to feel drawn toward Asian men, for reasons I can’t explain. Fortunately for me, my Asian boyfriend is attracted to white guys for reasons he also can’t explain.

So call it an attraction or a fetish, but as a couple it works for us: a yin and yang kind of thing — or yin and yank, if you’ll excuse the pun.

Of course, you can’t sustain a relationship by simply satisfying your racial preference in selecting a partner. When he’s inconsiderate, absorbed in porn, or failing to help with the housework, the last thing you’re thinking about is his race.

Showing up at a leather conference in a pleather jacket is awkward; not knowing the lingo is worse. How is Unreal supposed to know what a dungeon or a ball-stretcher is, or that “penmanship” translates to “penqueership” in BDSM-speak? (BDSM, FYI, is an umbrella of an acronym that comprises Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism.)

Luckily, we aren’t alone. “I’m kinda freaking out a little bit,” squeals a Washington University med student also attending the “Leather: Work & Play” caucus at last week’s 17th annual National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Creating Change Conference, held at the Millennium Hotel.

Everyone must divulge a secret as a form of introduction (“Shoot!” Unreal squirms). This reveals a former ballet teacher; a guy with a fetish for Airstream trailers; a guy who produces Bear-fetish pornos (read: big hairy blokes); and our personal forite, “Slave Bob,” an AARP rep who also happens to be an ordained minister. (He seems surprised by the secret himself.)

“Leather means different things to different people,” pronounces our moderator, Levi, a sweet, androgynous chap sporting (natch) a black leather vest.

In a nutshell, we learn that leather is not just a material but a way of life, a family, according to one follower, with its own rules (“If you say ‘Chicago,’ that means, ‘Stop!’”) and lessons in fisting, rimming and whipping that come through mentorship and with age.

Leather can also be a nutshell, explains Jason Hendrix, Mr. International Leather 2004, like when you’re vying for his title and you have to endure “Pecs & Personality,” a grueling interview and runway walk wearing a black leather jock strap with “everything” tucked in.

“What do you mean, ‘everything?’” Unreal asks.

“You know, as my mom would say, your hoo-hoo has to be covered.”

Unreal has discovered our secret. We’re not nearly as tight with our mom.

Sean Poulter, Daily Mail
17 November 2004

HIGH STREET stores group Debenhams is to sell sex toys, diamante blindfolds and fetish underwear, it has been revealed.

The chain is following the lead of Boots and Superdrug which are both planning to offer similar products.

Politicians and campaigners say selling such ‘toys’ in family stores is likely to offend the elderly and parents shopping with children, as well as those with strongly-held religious or moral views.

The range will appear in ten Debenhams stores from 22 November, apparently in an attempt to catch the eye of Christmas shoppers.

It is made by a firm called Tabooboo, which opened a concession in Selfridges in London earlier this year.

Debenhams is also introducing a range of fetish underwear under the upmarket brand Myla in 40 stores. This includes a diamante blindfold.

The move comes amid a sexual revolution in the High Street. Tabooboo has already placed sex toy vending machines in London bars.

The Ann Summers chain is opening stores on High Streets, while last month pornographer Larry Flynt opened a sex megastore in Birmingham – his first outside the US.

Director of pressure group Family and Youth Concern Norman Wells, said Debenhams was taking a risky path.

‘Family stores need to consider very carefully the messages they may be sending out to young people,’ he said.’If they go down this line, they will cheapen their image.’

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) — A former flower shop owner who sexually assaulted, tortured and held a Texas man captive in the basement of his store lost his appeal Friday.

Roger Van had asked the Nebraska Supreme Court to vacate his conviction because his victim agreed to such treatment.

Van was sentenced to up to 30 years in prison on several counts, including sexual assault and false imprisonment, related to the 2001 incident at his flower shop in Wayne.
Larson Motor Center

Defense lawyer Melissa Wentling alleged that Van’s conviction was unconstitutional because the “Nebraska Legislature did not intend these statutes to apply to conduct that occurs during a private, consensual relationship” involving bondage and torture.

Van’s lawyers had argued that the 36-year-old Houston man, identified in court papers as J.G.C., consented to being beaten, bound and branded.

Before meeting in Wayne, Van and the man exchanged scores of messages and negotiated a no-limits relationship involving torture and bondage, defense lawyers said.

In one e-mail message, J.G.C indicated he might try to escape and that Van should prevent that from happening.

The man also acknowledged writing an e-mail saying that he needed to be afraid of Van, who also sent him a photo of the small cell where he would be kept.

Defense lawyers said the two agreed not to have a customary “safe word” that signals to the master that the slave can no longer stand the pain and that the session is to end.

“As stated by the United States Supreme Court, homosexuals’ right to liberty under the due process clause gives them a right to engage in consensual sexual activity in home without intervention of the government,” Wentling said earlier.

The Texan said that after a light flogging administered the first day in Wayne, he was ordered to write why he deserved punishment and decided to get out.

But he said Van then refused to believe that he no longer wanted to participate and kept him captive.

The man testified that on one occasion he was placed face down on a table, restrained and branded with the letter “w” on the back of one of his thighs. The pain was so intense that he became ill and broke one of his wrist restraints, the man said.

The high court said that while the evidence presented showed that J.G.C. initially consented to a master-slave relationship, consent was withdrawn the day after he arrived in Wayne.

“Because J.G.C. testified that he told Van that he wished to go home, there was sufficient evidence upon which the jury could conclude that Van acted with the requisite knowledge and intent” to be convicted of false imprisonment, wrote Judge Kenneth Stephan.

As for the sexual assault conviction, Stephan wrote:

“The mere fact that J.G.C. did not verbally or physically resist is not determinative of whether he consented to the acts,” he said. “The record includes evidence that J.G.C. was subject to beatings for disobeying Van and that he revoked his consent to the … relationship prior to the acts of sexual penetration.”

Police said the Texas man escaped with the help of Jerry Marshall, an employee at the flower shop who initially participated in assaulting the Texan but later backed out. Marshall served about six months in jail for misdemeanor assault

[World News]: London, Nov 11 : Football icon David Beckham, who has often been touted as the best example of the metrosexual male, has a fetish for all kinds of cream, his wife, singer Victoria Beckham recently revealed.

According to the Sun, Victoria said that the ‘Real Madrid’ star loves to get his face and hands done and she pampers him with various kinds of face and hand creams every night.

“David is very much a new man and is totally in touch with his feminine side. He loves having his face and nails done. And every night we cover ourselves in moisturiser, eye creams, face creams – you name it,” the report quoted her as saying. (ANI)

Photographer Sam Holden showcases his diverse body of work
By Quinn Rowan
November 12, 2004

Picture yourself walking down Baltimore Street late at night. “Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club” is illuminated with red and blue florescent lights and inside women donned in fishnet stockings and red pleather panties swing their legs into positions that would make gymnasts cringe. As your feet shuffle upon the dirty sidewalk, an old guy who looks like Paul Newman rides his bicycle past you-an empty egg crate securely fastened to its front. Finally, as your eyes peruse the shrouded storefronts you notice Ray Lewis standing shirtless on the corner, hugging a football between bulging muscles. You think to yourself, “Ray, what are you doing here?”

This bizarre, fetish-friendly carnival feeling was overwhelmingly present in Sam Holden’s art exhibit, which is currently being displayed at Mission Space on 338 N. Charles St. A Baltimore native, Holden is a thirty-five year old freelance portrait photographer. He grew up taking pictures with his father, who is also a professional photographer. Although Holden is known primarily for his photographs of the Baltimore Ravens and his contributions to the City Paper, the art displayed at Mission Space covered a wider, more evocative range of topics.

The majority of the photographs in this exhibit display scantily clad women in shiny pleather outfits and tall black boots that seem to require many hours of lacing. Holden’s preference for portraiture is evident throughout the exhibit, although it arguably takes a back-seat in the fetish photographs depicting female masturbation. In a photograph entitled “J.P. #5,” Holden displays the centrifugal crotch shot, wherein a pair of red-nailed hands are thrust suggestively under red zip-up panties. The red of the fingernails as well as the panties contrast dramatically with the green-hued skin because of a technique Holden used called “cross-processing.”

In photography, when you shoot a roll of film, you shoot on negatives. However, if you shoot on slide film, you create a positive. When that positive is developed in a negative developer, the colors become highly saturated, creating a fantastic effect. This technique, especially when used in his fetish images, is suggestive of the fluorescent lighting one might see on Baltimore Street-provocative colors that suggest surreal images. This surrealist atmosphere is accentuated by photographs of sinister characters. For example, in a piece called “J.P.G. #1,” a taunting man with large eyes and a neatly trimmed handlebar mustache invites the viewer to enter into this dramatic theater.

In addition to his fetish photography, Holden’s exhibit includes portraitures of Baltimore Ravens players and well-known bands such as Linkin Park and Good Charlotte. Although Holden produces commercial photography for a living, his inclusion of these portraitures asserts his statement “my professional work and my art are really one in the same.” In one of Holden’s more intimate photographs, “Ray Lewis *NFS,” Lewis is depicted shirtless and dripping wet, cradling a football within his arms as if it were his own baby. Although Lewis is closely shrouded by dark shadows, the picture contains a greenish-yellow hue, creating an eerily personal photograph. In this instance, Holden uses the cross-processing technique in a way that is less theatrical then his fetish pieces.

In a photograph entitled “Billy Martin – Good Charlotte,” Billy Martin stands gallantly in a dark suit with glistening guitar thrust forward, inviting the onlooker to pay close attention. All things in the photograph, including Martin’s face and tie, are tinted a bright green. Although this piece is less artistic than his other works, it is obvious that Holden considers his work an important part of his progress as a photographer.

Finally, in addition to his fetish work and celebrity portraiture, Holden displays a small number of thoughtful, artistic pieces. In a photograph entitled “Dan VanAllen,” Holden depicts an older, friendly-looking man on a skinny bicycle. Although the picture is done with sepia, a brown color which adds an “old-time” feeling to black-and-white photography, it is clear that the man wears a plaid zip-jacket and heavy black boots. “Scales,” another photo, is unique in Holden’s exhibit. This sepia photo depicts a close-up shot of seven scales of an unknown animal. Unlike any other in the exhibit, this photograph suggests Holden’s less comical interest in texture and contrast; although there is no focus on the shiny texture of tight corsets, there is a keen observation of the layered hexagonal scales. These scattered sepia pictures hint at a deeper understanding of evocative photography.

After viewing Holden’s exhibit, with its taunting carnival sentiment, philosophical photography questions arose. Should a picture of Billy Martin holding his guitar be considered art? Holden’s emphasis on staged fetish photography dismisses him from the realm of philosophic answers. However, there are times when his photographs gleam something deeper then the cleft of back skin from a tight corset.

‘Vamps in Vogue’ show presents Gothic fashion with a splash of color

By Emily Sweeney, Globe Staff | November 11, 2004

Imagine watching a Gothic and industrial fashion show. If you picture such an event as a parade of pale faces dressed in black garb, think again.

Tomorrow night, Cambridge’s goth-fetish nightclub, ManRay, will host “Fashion Victims: Vamps in Vogue,” a runway show that promises to be the furthest thing from a funeral procession.

It will not be just a run-of-the-mill fashion show with models strutting down the catwalk, either.

Featured designer Ashley H. Mattox has spent four months working with Angeldustrial, a collective of artists, musicians, and dancers with industrial-strength creativity who have nailed the presentation of her label’s “underworld glamour.” Angeldustrial will model eight Aphrodite Asphodel outfits while performing an elegant ballroom-inspired dance, choreographed to playfully challenge the stereotypes of masculinity and femininity, submission and domination.

Inspired by 18th-century aristocracy, the Jazz Age, and the classic American rebel, Mattox describes the Aphrodite Asphodel look as “born in a rock ‘n’ roll roadbox, raised in a Paris salon, unabashedly nouveau riche, charged with eros and splashed with bourbon . . . all with an industrial edge, of course.”

Mattox has traveled back in time, sneaking into the dressing rooms of vaudeville theaters and peeking into the salons of Paris with a notebook, scribbling the most stylish aspects from the past three centuries of fashion history. Her hands bring all of these elements into single outfits, bits of historic fashion pulled together as tightly as the corsets she makes.

The Fashion Victims show also will feature collections from Anita Bhatt, a Providence-based designer who makes clothes under her own brand, Vicious Dollz.

Drawing from anime, fetish, and Gothic influences, Bhatt creates kimonos and corsets fit for a club-hopping geisha girl of the future. She uses all kinds of fabrics, ranging from Chinese silk brocade to perforated neoprene.

Eloni Feliciano, a ManRay promoter and founder of the Miss Gothic Massachusetts pageant, will model pink and black dreadlocks by Lana Guerra, and a bright pink Vicious Dollz dress.

The “Cabaret Militaria” collection comes from Bettysioux, a Providence-based label designed by Jennifer Lyons. It consists of 10 outfits, ranging from campy pink bomber jackets with leopard-print hotpants to black-and-white floor-length gowns.

Lyons, 28, decided to focus on the military as her theme for the Fashion Victims show, for good reason: her father, a major in the US Army Reserves, was recently deployed to Iraq.

She transformed one of her father’s old uniforms into an outfit she calls “Mess Hall Madam” by stitching blouse-like shoulders into the camouflage shirt and adorning the chest pockets with black sequins. Lyons strategically incorporated swank-looking pinstriped cotton twill into the military fatigues, and topped off the hat with an elegant feather plume.

Another Bettysioux creation, dubbed “Flight of the Aviator,” is a slinky-yet-sporty black gown with white racing stripes along the sides and adjustable straps crossing the open back. Using the pattern from vintage pilot headgear (think Amelia Earhart), Lyons made a stylish aviator cap that’s sophisticated enough for a business executive to wear on her day off, yet still soars beyond the radar of common civilian street style; it’s cool enough to make any club kid jealous.

“My clothing is meant for people who like to stand out and be unique,” said Lyons. “It’s not about goth, fetish, or the underground. It’s about being an individual and allowing your personality to show through your clothing.”

The Fashion Victims show also will include original designs by DISTRO.Y, Zazzi, and several other local fashion companies.

Doors open at 9 p.m. at ManRay, 21 Brookline St., Cambridge. Admission $10, 19-plus. Dress code enforced; minimum all black, no sneakers, no brown shoes. For more information, visit www.xmortis.com.Emily Sweeney can be reached at esweeney@globe.com.

[Hollywood News]: London, Nov 11 : Pop diva Christina Aguilera has revealed that she likes to get experimental while having sex and that she has a fetish for handcuffs.

According to the Sun, the ‘Dirrty’ singer also said that she likes to be the dominating one while having sex and that she likes to play rough.

“If a lover wants to experiment with handcuffs, then that’s fair enough for me! What’s the point of holding back that side of your personality if it’s horny and turns you both on?” the report quoted her as saying.

“I’m a red-blooded women who doesn’t feel guilty about making love. And it’s only human nature to fulfil that need every day if you can. Sometimes I want gentle, tender love-making, other times I like to play a bit rougher and not let the man dominate me,” she added. (ANI)

The English Collective of Prostitutes (ECP) and the International Prostitutes Collective (IPC) invite you to an International Conference on prostitution
Saturday 4 December 6 pm

St Mary the Virgin Church, Eversholt St,
(cnr Aldenham St) London NW1 1BN
Euston / Mornington Crescent

NO BAD WOMEN,
NO BAD CHILDREN,
JUST BAD LAWS

A response to the government’s review of the prostitution laws, the first in 50 years.

For those concerned with the safety and welfare of sex workers, and all women and children, and those ready to learn from the experience in other countries where prostitution has been legalised or decriminalised.

Speakers include:

Catherine Healy, New Zealand Prostitutes Collective

Abhijit Dasgupta, former co-ordinator of anti-trafficking programme Action Aid, International

Terri Dowty, Action on Rights of Children

Adelina Duenas, United Workers Association

Pauline Campbell, mother of Sarah Campbell, who died in Styal prison

Nushra Mapstone, British Association of Social Workers

Rachel West, USPROStitutes Collective

Rev Paul Nicolson

Cari Mitchell, ECP

Chair: Nina Lopez, IPC

Most people believe sex workers should not be criminalised and do not consider paying for sex an offence. Poverty and debt, major factors in driving women into prostitution, are crucial issues for millions of us. Yet cuts to our survival benefits and services as well as unequal pay continue side by side with billions in unrestrained military spending.

The consultation paper appears to target men (the demand), rather than women and children (the suppliers), appealing to many women’s dislike of the sex industry.

But given the punitive approach the UK government has adopted, following the US lead of bullying in civil liberties and criminal justice issues, women and young people can expect the worst:

More Anti-Social Behaviour Orders landing more of us in prison;

More deportations under the guise of cracking down on trafficking;

Higher prison sentences for women working from premises;

Military style boot camps, with an eventual army job, for ‘wayward’ children as young as six.

In other words, criminalisation or militarisation for most of us!
It is time to stand united against our being divided between those of us labelled bad and those labelled respectable. No bad women, no bad children, just bad laws!

November 7, 2004

Once relegated as signposts of by-the-hour motels, services such as adult entertainment, sex toys a la carte and in-room massage are enjoying new cachet thanks to some of the hottest names in Canadian hospitality.

From the hipper-than-thou Drake Hotel in Toronto to the upscale W Hotel in Montreal, fantasy is now just a concierge call away.
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