Bondage Radio

Sensual touching or caressing is a like a form of artful expression. Close your eyes and picture yourself painting a picture, using only the softest brush stokes that bring out the soft hues of your color. See yourself painting a pattern on your partner’s body using your fingers and hand to develop a soft color design. Sensual touching/caressing, is designed to relax or relieve the stress of a long day you or your partner may be feeling, it is not necessarily sexual, but it can be used to arouse and stimulate your partner, in one of the most fantastic intimate experiences they have ever had,.

After years of practical experience on my Master – husband and some research into the subject, I have developed my own way of using sensual touching / caressing. You may know your partner better then he or she may know themselves, you can develop your own unique way of touching / caressing the right spots on your partner, to reach that most relaxing, moaning and, for them, almost purring sensations to lose all thoughts of the day and be asleep in no time, or to stimulate and arose their sexual desires until your partner is extremely aroused that the slightest touch to his body excites him. You can arose your partner to the point that one type of caressing can have them ready to explode, while another type of caressing can prolong their / pleasure  into an evening of fantastic sex for both. This method is easy to learn and needs no special tools except your own hands. Using flat palms, finger tips and your finger nails in various ways is quite effective in creating the perfect effect for relaxation or arousal for you and your partner.

First step: Set the scene for the room.

Rather you are doing the caressing for relaxation or sexual arousal, set up the room to include your other senses. Stimulating sight, sound and scent can play a big part in the way you perform your technique. This step can be done before your partner gets home from a long day or you can do it together in a way you both are happy. This should be your first step, because after you perform the second step, you may not want to take the time to set the mood for the room before starting your scene.

Here are a few ideas for setting the room.

• Set the lighting to your comfort zone. One item I found most enjoyable was a simple humidifier. It not only created relaxing light changes but I could also add scented oils to the water. This one item could then be used for the comfort of two of your senses, sight and smell. By placing a little lavender oil (or your favorite relaxing scent) in the humidifier, works great.
• Set the temperature in the room where you are most comfortable.
• Your sense of smell, use scented candles, incense, potpourri, scented oils, which ever is your favorite relaxing or stimulating scent.
• Sound, your sense of hearing. Put on some of your favorite music or whatever sound you can relax too the best or arouses you the most. Soft music or sounds of nature I found most relaxing. For some of you no sound at all is very relaxing.
• Remember you are setting the scene that bests suits you and your partner for whichever reason you are performing the sensual touching/caressing.

Step Two: Getting you and your partner ready to relax.

Get comfortable before starting any scene with your partner, if one of you is uncomfortable with how things are set up, then the experience will not be as enjoyable. Find that comfort Zone, what works best for both of you? If you have been together as a couple long enough, then most likely you will know how to Find and Stay within Each Others Comfort Zone.

1. Experiment with different things you can do together to set the scene, and make it an easy part of your daily routine before bed, so that it not only feels relaxing, but it also looks and smells relaxing.
2. One idea that worked well for us, was taking an evening shower together. Besides having a clean body to caress afterwards, it gives both of you some good bonding time with an early start on the caressing by helping each other bathe. Speaking for myself, I found it most enjoyable, comfortable and arousing, bathing my husband in the shower. Being there with him and caressing his naked body with a soapy bath puff, was enjoyable for both of us. That is just one method to start the scene for you and your partner.
3. Clothing;  Clothing is optional, decide rather you want to wear some kind of comfortable clothing or no clothing at all, by this I mean wearing something that is not only comfortable, like boxer underwear or panties. If you are a bit on the bashful side about being totally naked, then a little clothing will keep you in your comfort zone. The less clothing the better, as you will want to have most of your partner’s body bare to perform your touching/caressing technique. For the best experience no clothing at all is recommended. But remember, if you are caressing your partner to relax him, if he usually wears something to sleep in, make sure to have the items ready for him or her to put on before the touching/caressing puts them to sleep. I found it quite difficult to put my husbands sleeping pants on after he fell asleep from the caressing.

Now that you have the room in the right setting, its time to pick your spot to perform the sensual touching/caressing. You can use the bed or the floor especially if you have soft carpeting. I prefer using the bed as it offers the best comfort, plus if your partner falls asleep; he is already in the bed.

For the purpose of explaining this technique lets say we are using the bed. After you get your partner lying on the bed, (you can start with either side first, facing up or down is optional) position yourself in a comfortable way, either sitting or laying down close to your partner. Closeness to your partner is part of the technique, so lay or sit as close to him or her as is comfortable and still giving you a good position to work your sensual magic. Your comfort is as important as your partners.

Practice using your hands for a very light and soft touch. Start with flat palms caressing very softly, as if you were rubbing an infants tummy. Let’s say your partner is lying on his of her belly. Starting at the shoulders begin to gently to caress across his back very softly with your palms, moving your hand across his back from one side to the other working your way down to the buttocks, the caress your way back up to his neck. Extend and spread your fingers and work your hand through his hair caressing his scalp, letting your fingers slide through his hair for several seconds. Then work you hand back down to his back, this time caressing lengthwise up and down his back, continuing along the legs, all the way to the feet and back up again. Repeat this step for several minutes to sensitize and stimulate your partner’s sense to touch. Than have him turn over and repeat the same technique across his chest, around his neck, working your way down his belly over the tops of his legs to the feet then back up again.

The fingertips can now be used excite your partners sensation even more. Using just the tips of your fingers begin moving them over his skin very softly tracing different designs in several directions across your partner’s body.

Example: Draw different sizes of the figure eight across his back.

That is just one example, you can also do circles, straight lines or run your fingers along the lines and curves of your partners back as if you were tracing out each individual muscle and curve of your partners body. This technique can be done on the back, chest, legs, arms and even the face, just about anywhere on your partner’s body you can run your fingers over. This type of caressing/touching will begin to heighten the senses even more then the flat of your palms, from the stimulation created over the surface of the skin. Changing the amount of the pressure of your touching/caressing from soft, medium to a bit harder will cause an increase the flow of blood to the surface of the skin, thus increasing the sensation of pleasure your partner receives. This technique not only feels wonderful, it is also fun to do, unless your partner happens to be ticklish, if so you may not get to the point of using your fingertips and fingernails, if your partner feels like he’s being tickled to death. Use the fingertip technique for several minutes then switch to the fingernails.

Using your fingernails softly trace up and down your partners back, then softly scratch from side to side across his back, then caress the scratches back down with the flat of your palms. Depending on what your partner likes will determine how hard or light you will be able to use your fingernails on his skin. This can be done on any part of your partner’s body that he feels comfortable letting you scratch with your fingernails. This technique will stimulate the blood flow even more increasing the sensation of pleasure for your partner. Do not be alarmed if you see light scratch marks, just remember to be cautious and not scratch so hard that you break the skin open which can cause bleeding. That can ruin the whole routine you have worked up too, unless your partner is into that type of pain/pleasure. Remember to follow each scratching session with the flat of your palms smoothing it back down, in this way it completes the sensation you are trying to achieve.

At this point, you are at a good position to choose to continue the caressing your partners body for the relaxation effect,  or move on to the next step which will arouse and stimulate you and your partner for some great sexual fun.

Step Three: Arousing your partner for a fantastic sexual experience.

Caressing your partner’s genital area is optional; this step depends entirely on the person and what they like. This step can and most times will be quite arousing for you and your partner. Use one or two fingers to gently trace around the edges of the genital area at first. Trace small circles or straight lines around the edge first, working your way closer to his sex, (I will refer this step as if performing the technique on a man, if doing this for the female partner, the fingers would be sliding in and out of the lips of her pussy) tracing circles around his balls then up around his cock as if you were drawing an outline of his cock in whatever position it happens to be in, without moving the cock..  Then caress away from the genital area moving back down the legs and up the side of the legs back to the belly and chest, all the way to the neck. This step will arouse your partner with anticipation for more and produce a hard cock or a moist pussy. After a minute or so caressing the legs and chest make your way back to the genital area, again tracing lines around the balls and cock only this time lightly, as soft as a feather let your fingers caress along the shaft of his cock, then down around each testicle before moving back up the cock again.

Now by this time you stimulate your partner into a more erotic frenzy for some sexual play. It all depends on how both of you feel and what goal you are attempting to achieve, relaxation from a hard day or some fantastic sexual bonding.

Review:

I prefer starting with my partner on his back first, but you can do either side first.

Start with a flat palms first caress working your hands over the full length of his body front and back, including running your fingers through his hair several times.

Work the flat palms in straight motions down his back across his buttocks all the way down his upper leg as far as you can reach comfortable, without have to change your position.

Shift your position if necessary to reach the lower parts of the legs and feet. But remember, your comfort while performing the touching/caressing is just as important as your partners, who is receiving the touching/caressing.

I would usually choose to caress the upper parts of his body well before shifting my position to reach the lower parts of his legs and feet.

Using just your fingertips, begin moving them over his skin very softly tracing different designs in several directions across your partner’s body.

Using your fingernails softly trace up and down your partners back, then softly scratch from side to side across his back, then caress the scratches back down with the flat palms.

Know matter who is the giver and who is the receiver, either way, it works great for both partners as a unique bonding method that will enhance your intimacy together. It will also add spice to your life while bringing you closer together. Massage oils or lotions are not necessary for this type of touching/caressing and so it is best to not use them as it is only light touching and not massaging. The oils and lotions can change the affect of what you are attempting to do.

This paper is a work in progress, thanks for enjoying it. Asha`di

Written by:
Asha`di
2007 ©

01 Instant Gratification 2 Instant Gratification
03 Down Low 2 Down Low
02 Champagne & Cocaine [Explicit] 2 Champagne & Cocaine [Explicit]
04 Animal 2 Animal

Biography:
Cheeks (born Bradley C. Bell; October 4, 1985) is an American multimedia artist based out of Los Angeles, California. Born and raised in Dallas, Texas, he began his career at an early age doing commercials and theater. Cheeks studied film and acting before branching out to write, perform and produce electro pop music in 2008.

Cheeks released his sophomore EP, Glambition, on September 1, 2009, independently. The EP reached number 3 on iTunes and number 8 on the Amazon electronica charts on its day of release. In addition to music, Cheeks continues to produce a variety of mixed media content including socio-satirical videos on both his You Tube channel, GoCheeksGo, and his website, Cheekstv.com. A series of podcasts, Cheeks: Unbuttoned, can be found on his own social network, Cheektopia.

Early Life And Training

Cheeks began showcasing his interests in entertainment as a young child in Dallas, Texas. His aunt, a 5th grade teacher, nurtured his talents and urged him to perform songs for her class by artists such as Paula Abdul and the Beach Boys. He was cast in several commercials and theater productions during these early years. He developed an interest in film production while attending high school; eventually forming a film club which allowed other students that shared common interests an environment to hone their skills.

Following high school, Cheeks decided to move to Los Angeles, California in 2004 to develop his knowledge of the entertainment industry. He studied film production with a strong interest in editing at Los Angeles City College. During this time he began making short horror films and music videos, this would later lead to experimentation with his own music.

Cheeks continued his studies at The Second City Training Center, an improv-based sketch comedy theater and training center with an alumni list that includes John Belushi, Steve Carrell and Tina Fey to name a few. He performed in a graduate show, Stereotypecast, a humorous exploration of the way minorities are viewed by the mainstream.

Television Leads To Inspiration

In addition to his early commercial roles, Cheeks appeared in 2006 on MTV in Why Can’t I Be You?, a reality show featuring ordinary people wishing to gain self improvement and emulate characteristics of others more outgoing and confident than themselves. Cheeks coached his pupil on techniques for building a stronger self image. This appearance would become the catalyst that allowed Cheeks to discover his ability and desire to motivate others to gain their own self awareness through positive affirmations; he would later utilize his social network account on Twitter to spread motivational messages of hope and love.

Character Roles

Cheeks continued to pursue his love of acting in several independent projects. He collaborated with Dana Lauren, an actress and producer, playing a character named Chad in the internet based show Bruno’s; a satirical series based on the true adventures of working in a wacky restaurant. The series was launched on Roband.tv.

In 2008 Cheeks landed the role of Basil in Lushes, directed by Ash Christian of Fat Girls (2006) fame. The film chronicles the tale of two “Transtastic” drag queens, Cork (Ash Christian) and Desi (Parker Torres) that have set out to make a name for themselves in the formidable bar scene of the West Coast. Cheeks portrayal of Basil, the arch nemesis of Cork and Desi, received critical acclaim during its 2009 run at Frameline Film Festival, a San Francisco based LGBT film showcase by reviewer Jay C. Bird “Basil…performed with such perfect sexual ambiguity in style, fashion, manner and humor”. The short film was also featured at Outfest 2009 in Los Angeles, CA and at the Indianapolis LGBT film festival.

Following his success in Lushes, Cheeks appeared in the comedic Doormat: It’s a Boy!, a digital film series by writer/director Erik Larson. Doormat is a three part series based on the adventures of Aunt Doreena, played by Uncle Alice, as she adjusts to life in her new neighborhood. In part 2 of the series, Cheeks plays Xoie, a character with a couple of secrets to hide, the new girlfriend of Auntie Doreena’s favorite nephew, Buckley, played by Christopher Logan. The series premiere is yet to be announced.

In 2010, Cheeks will appear in the thriller, Dreamkiller, as Julian Stoli. The film is set for a limited theatrical run beginning in January.

Cheeks is currently developing a webisode series, Frontmen, for release in Summer, 2010.

Internet: Building A Following

In 2008, Cheeks created his own You Tube channel, GoCheeksGo, focusing a large portion his efforts on the development of Internet based content after recognizing the opportunities afforded to progressive artists through consistent exposure to new audiences and the ability to spread his work through viral video.

His popularity grew as he introduced such comedic videos as It’s Hard Out Here for a Cheeks, 7 Things to Hate About Me, and the socio-satirical commentary on Miss California DETHRONED! capturing the attention of celebrity internet blogger Perez Hilton.

In June 2009, Cheeks urged his fans to follow him into the 21st century by launching a new video, Things You’d NEVER Twitter, to officially launch his Twitter account, @GoCheeksGo. It was on Twitter that Cheeks began to provide followers with motivational affirmations encouraging people of the power of positive thinking. Following the launch, Cheeks placed 8th in overall competition for the Mr. Twitter Universe, an online contest where followers nominated their favorite Twitter personalities. One month later, followers voted him to a 3rd place finish in the Ultimate World Mr. Twitter contest. Currently Cheeks is ranked as 25th most popular account in Hollywood by Twitterholic.com.

In August 2009, on the heels of this surge in popularity, Cheeks founded his own social network, Cheektopia, a community where members are encouraged to ’share, create, explore’ through self expression and connectivity with one another. In September 2009, a podcast series, Cheeks:Unbuttoned, was launched on the network, resulting in membership levels tripling in the first day of release.

Music emerges

Cheeks began experimenting with music as a medium while still pursuing his studies in film and acting. With such early musical influences as Depeche Mode, Britney Spears, and Madonna, the resulting sound emerged in the electro pop genre. This early experimentation captured the attention of writer/director Liz Adams who commissioned Cheeks to co-write and record the title song for her horror short Side Effect; a film that went on to win awards at film festivals around the world.

In September 2008, Cheeks independently released his first EP, The Boy From Venus, on iTunes. Through self promotion on his MySpace page, Cheeks began to build a sizable following for his music.

Encouraged by positive feedback and digital album sales, Cheeks went to work on what would become his second independent album. On September 1, 2009 his sophomore EP, Glambition, was released worldwide. The EP began climbing the electronica album charts on iTunes and Amazon within hours of release; capturing the attention and praise by fellow artist Adam Lambert, “GREAT hard electropop!!!!”. LA Celebrity Examiner music critic Viviane Feilhaber states “The four song EP blends synthetic production, unrepentant naughtiness, and pulsating beats…”.

On September 27, 2009, Cheeks released a collection of ringtones on iTunes and Voeveo titled, Put a Ringtone On It; a mixture of whimsical and inspirational messages for cell phones.

Cheeks released a video for the single “Down Low” on his You Tube channel that was well received by fans and critics. A video for the single “Instant Gratification” was released on January 29, 2010.

Personal Life

Cheeks dated American Idol Season 8 runner up Adam Lambert from 2006-2008, before Lambert’s rise to fame. Their relationship was publicly chronicled when photographs of them kissing surfaced, placing it at the center of a national controversy and landing the story on the The O’Reilly Factor. Additional pictures later surfaced including images of Cheeks and Lambert performing together as an act at the 2006 Burning Man Festival. Pictures of them at the 2007 Blue Blood Halloween Party in Hollywood were published in the April 20th, 2009 issue of Star Magazine and the June 25th, 2009 edition of Rolling Stone. Reports later surfaced on Geno’s World that Cheeks had declined multiple offers to sell details of their relationship to the press.

As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers add a new caution: Don’t try to shave your privates, either.

Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.

“She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit,” Trooper Gary Dunick said. “If I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot … who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought,’Nothing will ever beat this.’ Well, this takes it.”

If that weren’t enough, Megan Mariah Barnes was not supposed to be driving and her 1995 Ford Thunderbird was not supposed to be on the road.

The day before the wreck, Barnes was convicted in an Upper Keys court of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended license, said Monroe County Assistant State Attorney Colleen Dunne. Barnes was ordered to impound her car, and her driver’s license was revoked for five years, after which time she must have a Breathalyzer ignition interlock device on any vehicle she drives, Dunne said. Barnes also was sentenced to nine months’ probation.

Barnes and Charles Judy were southbound in her Thunderbird at 11 a.m. when they slammed into the back of a 2006 Chevrolet pickup driven by David Schoff of Palm Bay. His passengers were a man and two women; the latter were treated for minor injuries at Lower Keys Medical Center, FHP spokesman Alex Annunziato said.

Schoff had slowed to about 5 mph to make a turn when the Thunderbird hit him, traveling about 45 mph, which was within the speed limit, Dunick said.

Barnes allegedly drove another half-mile, then switched seats with Judy, who allegedly claimed to be driving, Annunziato said.

“She jumps in the back seat and he moves over,” Dunick said. “It was like the old comedy bit, ‘Who’s on first?’ “

Burns on Judy’s chest from the passenger-side airbag deploying belied their story, Dunick said. The airbag in the steering wheel did not deploy, he said.

Troopers charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged.

Barnes faces a maximum of a year in jail if found guilty of violating her probation due to the wreck, Dunne said.

“My phone has been ringing off the hook all day, and I know there’s a funny side to this, but it’s also deadly serious. This is a scary road and a lot of bad wrecks are caused by dumb stuff like this,” Dunick said. “It is unbelievable. I’m really starting to believe this stuff only happens in the Keys.”

alinhardt@keysnews.com

via FHP: Driver lacked razor-sharp focus | KeysNews.com.

Big Cage

Many powerful men yearn to relinquish control to a thrilling woman, and to experience a delicious contrast to the decisive command they must display in their professional lives. In fact, being bound is one of the favorite requests men make of call girls – it is something exotic they don’t usually get at home. It is not meant to overcome a man’s reluctance, but to heighten erotic tension.

The very idea that you cannot escape from some very powerful sensations is extremely titillating and forces your body to ratchet up its pleasure receptors. Besides, bondage usually stretches or exposes the skin, which intensifies its sensitivity. As long as you trust each other and play intelligently a little friendly tying will add edginess and adrenaline to your lovemaking repertoire.

Pretend bondage. You may want to slide slowly into the idea of bondage by arranging your man in a somewhat helpless position, like having him lie atop his hands, and then instructing him to remain there where tied. Challenge his concentration by tickling him or giving him mind-blowing oral sex. A little light bondage can be easily accomplished by using a silky scarf, a soft sash, or a piece of your lingerie to tie his hands to the bedpost. Then tell him an outrageous fantasy while you caress him with leather, fur, or scented oil. Scrape your nails lightly over his back and derriere, and fondle the golden scepter he has momentarily surrendered to you.

Bonding treats. Use Velcro hand ties to bind your victim to the upper corners of the bed. Break out some really fine wine, dip your finger in the glass, and slide it across his lips. Dip in again, then glide it over his chest. Lovingly anoint other body parts. Follow this up by dipping your fingers into your own natural juices and lightly touching them to his upper lip. Whip out your fur-lined handcuffs, perhaps just after he has arrived home, and shackle him, sitting, to the front door. Then “desert” him and go change into something sexy, like a black Merry Widow, garters, and spike heels, while he is alone anticipating. Sashay right up to him and offer your exposed vulva to his lips. After you are satisfied, suddenly walk away again, leaving him to simmer in the fires of his lust and your musky aroma. Return in a nurse’s or French maid’s uniform, unzip his trousers, and inspect him with your hands, breasts, and lips. Leave and return in various costumes, offering different parts of yourself to him and commanding the stop-and-go of his excitement, until fever pitch is achieved.

Invigoration. Have him lie facedown on the bed and, using rolls of gauze, tie his hands together at the top of the bed, and his feet together at the bottom. With the side of your fists and the cupped palms of your hands, pound and slap him all over, alternating the pressure between light and heavy and occasionally scraping your nails over his enlivened skin. Because of the way you have tied him, you should be able to easily turn him over to give him the same treatment on his front side. Invigorate him with all-over pinching, pounding, and flicking. Then bring out your scissors, perhaps running the cool steel over his hot flesh with an evil gleam in your eye, and cut him free of his bonds so he can “retaliate.”

Ride em, Cowgirl! Purchase some 100 percent cotton rope in a hardware store, and one evening when he least expects it, lasso him and tie him to the bed, hands apart, feet together. In your cowpoke outfit (or perhaps just boots and bandanna), tease, rein, and tickle him mercilessly, finally hopping on top to ride him to that orgasmic pasture in the sky.

We have a full section of sex and love tips http://womentips.net/category/love-and-sex/I hope you enjoyed the bondage tips! You might also want to check out Kama Sutra Secrets.

WomenTips.Net – Tips that work for you!

WomenTips.Net is the website that gives you practical tips on topics like fashion, hairstyle, skin maintenance, makeup and anti aging. It also contains easy tricks on diet and exercise, so that you can be in the best shape of your life, but it doesn’t neglect your emotional side – tips on love and sex are also available for you.

But the best part of Womentips.net is that most content is written by beauty specialists, stylists and nutritionist, make-up artists and personal trainers all across the country, so here you can always get a good advice. Other tips are coming from women just like you, that write the secrets that worked for them and enter our competition: “Write your own tips to win!”. WomenTips.net recommends the best fashion, diet, health and beauty buys each week. We look for the best offers from the web boutiques and we present them to you, for your shopping pleasure.

Author: Lavinia Rimes
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: PCB Prototype & Manufacturing

1. What is a sexually transmitted disease or STD?

Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) is the politically correct term for what used to be called “veneral disease (VD)”. These are diseases that are transmitted through or as the result of sexual activity (not just sexual intercourse).

There are no BDSM specific sexually transmitted diseases but like any other sexual activity BDSM activity CAN spread STDs.

Heterosexuals are a lot less STD aware than the homosexual world is, but they should be just as educated on the subject. As a result, the current risk groups for any STD are heterosexual women.

There are many different sexually transmitted diseases and certainly not all are directly related to the genital organs.

General information is freely and widely available from doctors, hospitals, first aid centers, pharmacies and of course on the Internet.

2. How does one get STD infected?

Some sexually transmitted diseases are viruses, others are caused by bacteria, some by plain and simple dirt. As a result, there are different ways, in which people can get STD infected. An important form of STD infection is the contact between bodily fluids (most importantly blood, sperm, vaginal fluids and mother milk). This is especially true the most lethal ones in the Western world: such as Hepatitis (around in different varieties) and HIV (Aids). As a result, contact with bodily fluids should be avoided by anyone who has more than one partner (even if that is only incidental) and partners who have not been solely together for MANY years (not months). Incubation time (the “lead” time before the actual infection shows itself), in the case of HIV for example may be as much as five to seven years.

Another well known cause of STD infection is lack of hygiene. In the BDSM world especially quite a lot of personal hygiene is neglected. Toys that have been on the floor or in a toy bag should not be used unless cleaned and – when brought into contact with the genital area – protected. One should wear latex gloves during penetration, especially when in a (more) public environment.

3. What do I do when I (think I) am STD infected?

There is only one answer: visit your doctor as soon as possible. Bear in mind that your doctor is not there to judge you, but to cure you. And yes, doctors have seen it all before and many times. If you feel troubled by having to go to your doctor, turn to a first aid center or a specific STD center if there is one in your area.

Every STD spreads like wildfire! They are among the most contagous diseases. In most cases if you are infected, you do not only have a responsibility to yourself, but also to your partner(s) and to an extent to you entire environment.

4. Can an STD be cured?

Some can, and some cannot. There are no cures yet for HIV, hepatitis C and various forms of herpes, for example. HIV and hepatitis C are potentially lethal. So is syphylus, but there is a good cure for this disease.

5. Does an STD only effect me?

Every STD will effect you but most will also effect your partner and maybe others (such as unborn children) if not properly taken care of. Sometimes an STD can be the cause of dead babies or incurable medical problems. Some will not really effect the bearer, but will badly effect the partner and – for example – cause infertility (in males especially).

6. How do I protect myself against STD infection?

Your first line of defense is strict personal hygiene. Wear latex gloves and use condoms, also on penetrating toys, such as dildos and vibrators. Regularly clean equipment and – for example – wash bondage ropes.

The second important line of defense is to educate yourself. Again, know what the risks are and avoid them.

7. Does an STD spread quicker, because of BDSM activity?

The BDSM community is very open. It is not unusual to temporarily exchange partners, people switch partners frequently and such things as BDSM parties open an easy risk for infection. Besides, BDSM activity implies much more physical contact than most other forms of sexual behavior and there is the frequent use of toys and equipment. So, there indeed are more opportunities for infection, compared to a standard vanilla relationship. As a result – although no real research has been done in this area – there should be a higher risk of spreading an STD.

8. What BDSM activities are likely to spread an STD?

All forms of penetration, genital or by means of toys, fingers, fists or the mouth are activities that can transmit an STD. In terms of BDSM there are also other activities. Whipping may occasionally cause small superficial skin wounds and any breakage of the skin is a serious crack in the bodies main line of defense against diseases, including many STDs. Bondage ropes, used in the genital area, are a well known vehicle for sexually transmitted diseases and so are internal toys (vibrators, dildos, Ben Wah balls, vibrating eggs, etcetera). Nipple clamps may also cause small skin wounds. In general, BDSM activity is much more physically intens and physically demanding than most other forms of sexual activity. As a result, you should be more careful.

9. Why do governmental and health organisation hardly ever mention BDSM-acitivity in their STD information?

Most forms of what is generally known as “alternative sexuality” (such as BDSM) are overlooked by governmental and health organisations, when it comes to information and education about STD risks. The reason for this is largely in the fact that such organisations simply will not believe there are that many practitioners and that such organisations have no clue about BDSM. “Alternative sexuality” in the entire education of health care professionals usually takes up as much space (and attention) as ONE PAGE IN ONE BOOK! That is, if alternative sexuality is being mentioned at all!

10. How can I help to inform people about STD risks?

If you happen to be active in a local BDSM community, or for example have a personal website about BDSM, try and devote some time and space to sexually transmitted diseases occasionally. For example, next to workshops about flogging, bondage or needle play, a workshop about STD prevention will be very helpful. But, since this is not a popular subject you may also want to settle for having leaflets available, writing something in your magazine or newsletter if you have one and putting information on websites.

Hans Meijer, a Dutch former journalist and government spokesmen, is the chairman for the Powerotics Foundation. This organisation is dedicated to provide quality information about alternative lifestyles.

Author: Hans Meijer
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
Provided by: Guest blogger

The term ’sexual orientation’ is mostly used about being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transsexual (LGBT). This powerful concept – ’sexual orientation’ – pioneered courageously by members of the LGBT community, has empowered people, within the last 50 years or so, to think of themselves as not bad, or sick, but just different.

Readers may remember that it is not all that long since homosexuality was considered a form of sickness. Until 1973 Homosexuality was listed in the American Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as a psychopathology: a form of mental illness. The underlying assumption here was that gay people had something wrong with them. While there are of course still individuals who think this, it is no longer generally seen in this way, at least in the USA and UK.

Most people have heard of S&M, or SM (in case you’re one of the few who hasn’t, it stands for Sadism and Masochism). Fewer have heard of D/s (domination and submission), but the most comprehensive acronym which is in general use by those who take part in these activities is BDSM (the B is for bondage). If you Google BDSM you will find a lot of porn websites, some community sites run by members of the BDSM community, sites of suppliers of BDSM gear (fetish clothing, specialist fetters and restraints, whips and so on).

However for those looking for serious research into the prevalence and experience of people who indulge in BDSM with consenting adults, there is not very much around. And yet these practices seem quietly to be sneaking their way into our consciousness, with a growing stream of articles and documentaries which, while they are not serious academic work, are also not purely porn. The internet, TV and mainstream magazines are providing media for people who are perfectly nice, and ‘ordinary’ (whatever that means) to reveal that they get off on BDSM activities. In these articles and TV shows, participants generally don’t seem to feel there’s anything wrong with them, or that they have anything to apologise for about their sexual practices. Having said that, most BDSM-ers feel uncertain about how they might be judged for their activities by, say, employers, friends, health professionals and family. In effect, then, it seems many BDSM-ers think of themselves as not sick, but as having a different sexual orientation.

If we think of BDSM as a sexual orientation then what are the implications of this? The following is a rough list.

• BDSM is not proof of some kind of emotional damage (e.g. trauma or abusive parenting)
• People cannot be counselled or otherwise ‘treated’ out of being into BDSM
• People should not be discriminated against for being into BDSM
• People are not in some way ‘ill’ if they are into BDSM
• People are not in some way ‘bad’ if they are into BDSM

Those who do see BDSM as a form of sickness can still find support in the DSM, where activities involving, for example ‘the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one’s partner’ are classified as a paraphilia: a form of mental disorder. But this is a grey area because there is a systematic ambiguity about whether ’suffering’ or ‘humiliation’ within a mutually consensual roleplay situation is what is meant here. The BDSM players who are on our TV screens, or internet sites, or who are running businesses around BDSM are talking about exactly this mutually consensual game, as opposed to real, non-consensual torture or humiliation.

For therapists who may encounter clients who present with BDSM-related issues, I invite you to consider the bullet points above, and to see if any of these statements conflicts with attitudes you may have held about BDSM. I invite you to entertain the idea of BDSM as a sexual orientation.

Bay Whitaker is a counsellor and partner in the Sheffield based private counselling service, Sheffield Central Counselling http://www.sheffieldcentralcounselling.co.uk. She works with clients on all sorts of topics, and specifically offers counselling to those who are involved in BDSM.

Author: Bay Whitaker
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

C’mon own up, when was the last time you clicked on those dirty Web sites and had your vicarious thrills by seeing men and women dressed in nothing other than harnesses, doing things to each other that can give any normal pervert a chill down his or her spine. You may raise your eyebrows in disgust, but in heart of hearts you do sometimes get tempted to try out things for yourself. And it is not only you lusty lads and dirty old men out there, it is also the oh-so-propah respectable ladies, who pine for such titillation.

Okay, so you insist that you’re not one of them and swear that you don’t even think of indulging in such filthy deeds. Well, no offense meant. But frankly, don’t you think it’s time to let go of your prudery about “this sick stuff people do with whips and whipped creams and stuff” and infuse some excitement into your love life gone limp. Read on and give a boost, if not to your sex life, then to your knowledge, about this bizarre form of entertainment.

BDSM defined

So what is BDSM? Simply stated it is an acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, and Sadomasochism. You may be surprised to know that these so called perversions come quite naturally to most, since some people naturally crave to be submissive and some dominant. If you just take a look at your own sex lives, you’ll be surprised to find that you’ve already tried out some elements of BDSM without even being aware of it. Remember, how you shuddered and ended up in a heap, when your partner blindfolded you and traced the contours of your body with a feather or an ice cube? Welcome to the warped and weird world of BDSM.

Many of you may be relating BDSM only to hardcore sadism or masochism, but the truth is that it can also be remarkably subtle, highly erotic and psychologically charged. It may not even involve sex or sexual tension! It is more of a power game, where one person agrees to submit to another to act out a fantasy. It is driven more by the needs of the submissive than by those of the dominant. And, in this game, the roles of the dominants and submissives are also not fixed and can be interchanged. You may be surprised to know that male submissives actually outnumber the female ones! Talk about role reversal!

BDSM isn’t abuse

But, before you set out to explore the realm of this pain-giving pleasure (or is it pleasure-giving pain?), it’s important to know, at the very outset, that BDSM isn’t abuse. An abuser has no regard for the feelings, needs or limits of the victim, whereas in BDSM each partner is a willing one and has a say in whatever is done to him or her. Also, the victim of abuse is not at liberty to dictate the abusers actions or set limits to it, whereas BDSM caters to the needs and desires of those being dominated. For example, flogging isn’t what you imagine it’d be like. For the most part, it’s more stimulating than painful.

Choose your own fantasy

The good part about BDSM is that it’s only limited by your imagination. There are countless ways in which you can enjoy inflicting pain on others or suffering delightful discomfiture yourself. If you think that inflicting or suffering pain isn’t your idea of enjoyment, think again. Remember those agonizing deep body massages, where you all but cry and tears of joy roll down your cheeks in painful relief? You don’t quit and in the end it proves so gratifying that you continue to come back for more. Same is the case with BDSM, which gets you so much sexually aroused that this kind of stimulation becomes fun and keeps you begging for more.

BDSM encompasses many wildly different practices and some really curious beliefs. But essentially, it gives you an opportunity to challenge your boundaries and test your limits. In the strictest sense, BDSM involves role-playing, where you may be dominant and your partner submissive or vice versa. This allows you to act out scenarios that are highly charged, psychologically and totally gratifying, physically. However, there’re a few who don’t opt for the dominant or submissive roles, as they don’t get turned on by being tied up or by bossing their partners, or such other stuff. But they still enjoy their own version of BDSM fantasies. So, the important thing to know is that there is nothing known as proper BDSM. It is what you enjoy.

Safety first and always

There’s no denying the fact that BDSM involves a controlled consensual minor abuse of the body, so it’s always better to be safe than sorry. To cross the limit in the throes of ecstasy will not only lead to injuries, it may also dampen your partner’s interest. So, you must follow a few safety tips before you queer the pitch for your partner. After all, you do want him or her to come back for more, don’t you?

Give a hint of your intended action: Springing a surprise can be fun and may add to the pleasure of both, but you don’t want to shock your partner with something that he or she may hate. Although, you don’t need to necessarily give away your exact plans, it is always safe to throw in a hint of what’s coming and how.

Slow and steady wins the race: There’s a need to consider your every move deliberately for realizing your fantasy. And it requires preparation, both mental and physical. Don’t be hasty in things you haven’t tried yet. It requires some time to master the techniques and to start enjoying them. For example, don’t immediately jump into the bed with your partner just after reading this article!

Agree upon a ’stop’ word: “Please stop. No. Stop. Puleez. God, no. Oooh!…” Don’t you just get turned on by your partner’s whimpering and pleading for mercy? That’s why the word stop and no doesn’t qualify for stopping the act, when your partner actually wants you to. For you wouldn’t know if he or she actually means it! So, it’s a safe bet to agree upon a word or some action (remember, your partner may be gagged) that the submissive can use, when he or she doesn’t want you to go ahead with what you’re doing. Enough can be a good enough word and thumping the bed or the floor with hands or feet can be a convenient indication to stop the proceedings, much like what the wrestlers do.

Contingency planning: Just imagine, you excitedly pick up a pair of handcuffs from your box of naughty toys and slip them on your partner’s wrists. As you set about your business, you suddenly realize, “Heck! Where’re the keys?” and, at that very moment, someone knocks on the door! To avoid such awkward situations, always have some important stuff handy, like a pair of scissors, a knife or a blade to cut ropes or bandages. They should be safe enough to use in a hurry, if you’re required to release your partner quickly. And don’t forget to locate the keys first, before you use those handcuffs!

Games dominants and submissives play

Now let us come down to the brass tacks. What do you actually do? Out of almost limitless possibilities, there’re some really exciting ones that you can safely introduce into your sex life. These love games can work for both, whether you are male dominant and female submissive or the other way round. Let us see them one by one and learn what they have to offer:

The arousing ice: Ice remains an all time favorite that has even been used by lesser mortals practicing normal sex! This great all-purpose sex toy and can be used in a number of ways. One time-tested method is to run an ice cube over your partner’s body, preferably if he or she is blindfolded and bound. Another way is to place it in your mouth and run your lips and tongue over your partner’s body. For a more imaginative play, make an ice dildo in the refrigerator and enjoy vaginal or anal play. Ice cream moulds may come in handy here!

The bewitching brush: Well, did you know that a brush can be used effectively to make your partner come? All you need to do is to blindfold and tie him or her up. Now, first taking the soft shaving or painting brush, begin by stroking the breasts, nipples, thighs and the sides of your partner, alternating it with a stiff toothbrush. This treatment is enough to get your partner moaning for more. Undoubtedly the only field of art where the canvas is more interesting than the painting!

The captivating clothespin: Did you know that clothespins have uses other than for hanging clothes out to dry? These little biters can work wonders if clamped on the most interesting sites of the body. Clamp them on the nipples, anywhere along the breasts, the sides, arms, legs and thighs and, yes, there too. These are sure to let a shiver of sexual excitement run through the body! Once you’ve clamped the clothespin, don’t be in a hurry to remove them from your partner’s body. The longer they stay on, the more intense will be the sensation, when they finally come off! After you and your partner have started enjoying the pain, you are ready to graduate to the next step. This involves stringing together a number of clothespins by means of a thread and clamping them along your partners’ belly, breast or nipple. Once in position, all you need to do is to find the right time to pull them off sharply, one after the other, to his or her ecstatic delight. For more intense sensation, use small, plastic clothespins that have a sharper grip, than the larger wooden ones. So, the next time you find your neighbors at the supermarket insisting on such clothespins, you’d know what they’re up to!

The thrilling knives: No, we are not recommending cutting down your partner to size. But, blunt butter knives can make psychologically powerful and engaging sex toys. It entails blindfolding and tying up the partner and slowly, very slowly, drawing the knife-edge over the back, chest, thighs and legs. Beginners need to take care not to draw it too hard over the skin. This game is not as risky as it sounds and it gives such an emotionally intense effect and erotically charged sensation that your partner will crave for more. For doubling the effect of the knife, keep it in the freezer before use. It will feel much sharper and your partner may believe that you are actually carving him or her up with the knife.

The fantastic flogger: A flogger is a multi-tailed whip and, despite its intimidating appearance, is not painful at all, provided, of course, you don’t opt for the cheap ones available in many sex shops. The right one should’ve soft lashes and not thick and stiff ones and its edges should be rounded, like a deerskin flogger that doesn’t hurt at all. Such a flogger will also not cause any injury. Remember, if you opt for flogging or even paddling or spanking your partner, be careful where you hit. The safe body sites are the butt, thighs or the upper back. To the experienced, even breasts are permitted. However, never hit the lower back, as there is a risk of kidney damage. Also spare the face and the neck.

The enticing bondage and restraint: So, this is the part that most of you ogle at on those kinky websites. This kind of domination, where you tie up your partner, may be quite stimulating for both. However, it’s important to select what you tie up your partner with. Silk scarves or nylon stockings may seem soft, but are a strict no-no because they get tightened and may hinder or stop the circulation. Their knots, too, become difficult to undo. Good old-fashioned rope is actually far safer. When tying up your partner, don’t get him or her in a spread-eagle position, since it can become uncomfortable or painful very quickly. It is best to tie up the submissive’s arms to the side or to the waist, since such a position can be maintained for much longer. While selecting handcuffs, opt for those that can be double locked. Such handcuffs won’t tighten up, even if you press or sit on them or struggle against them. While indulging in this game always be alert for tingling, numbness or coldness. These symptoms indicate that a nerve is being pressed or the circulation is being affected. In such circumstances, all you need to do is to loosen up the restraints, till the symptoms fade.

These games are not even the tip of the iceberg of what all encompasses BDSM. Suffice to say that these games are limited only by your imagination. That’s why it’s important to exchange notes and learn from each other!

The final word

If you have reached this far without hitting the back button, you’re game for experiencing the deliciously erotic and mind-blowing sensations that devilishly borders on taboo. BDSM does more than just provide sexual gratification. It makes you aware of your own psychological limits when you inflict pain on your partner and your own physical limits when you endure pain perpetrated by him or her.

However, as with other things, it will be wise to adopt BDSM only if you feel comfortable with it both mentally and physically. If you find that your strict upbringing is not allowing you to be comfortable with these kinky acrobatics, by all means walk away. If you find yourself physically unable to undergo the torment, fine, you don’t need to put your health on line. But if you’re the adventurous sort, BDSM guarantees to add such great variety to your love life that you will never complaint of not getting enough!

Author: Arvind Mathur
Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Most people find it hard to describe themselves and in online dating personal ads or profiles, they are even worse. Daters tend to mention things in their profile which they would otherwise never reveal to someone upon first meeting. A search through any personals ad website will make it clear that singles do not talk about the important and relevant items for choosing a date or partner. A typical online dating ad is littered with points such as these:

• Subjective self-descriptive phrases such as “I am honest, creative,
  and spontaneous, “ignoring one important question: who doesn’t think
  that about themselves?!
• Incessant rambling about a favorite TV show, baseball team or rock band. Would you REALLY choose a partner based on that?!
• Sexual innuendos: I like full body massages from my girlfriend/boyfriend, like kissing in public, and so on.

Online Dating Profile Tips

Here are some tips on how to go about writing a great online dating profile. Tips that you should discuss in your profile that highlights and gets the real you across in the message, including a glimpse into your personality. This kind of help should get responses from the right people, making your dating ad worthwhile.

The best way to write a profile is to imagine yourself meeting someone new for the first time in a casual, no pressure setting such as a coffee shop, a local bar, or friend’s party. Think about the kind of things you would tell others about yourself. Your dating profile or personal ad is the same idea extended onto the Internet.

Follow a factual but casual approach to writing your personal ad. You want to let the people get to know concrete things about you, but at the same time, your ad should not come across as a boring resume. Sprinkle it with some humor and exclamation marks! Make it fun and interesting.

A good online dating profile has 200-250 words, with 150-200 words for yourself, and 50-100 words describing the kind of person you are looking for.

Discuss Your Career History and Plans

Talk about schools you have attended, jobs you have held, and your future career aspirations. These are generally looked at as positive. Think of it as the first conversation you are having with someone: Don’t we usually talk about we do? This is excellent to write about in a dating profile. Be somewhat brief because you don’t want to go on and on about selling shoes, delivering the mail, or designing and cars.

If you have children, tell the other online dating singles a little about them. This is an important part of your life, and will peak the interests of people who are interested in dating you. Mention their ages, and whether or not they live with you. Don’t describe them too much but giving their ages for example, makes you come across as a normal parent.

If you have moved around a bit in your life, mention the places
where you have lived. It gets more people interested in you and wanting
to write to you. For example, if you are presently living in Los
Angeles but have lived in Dallas, someone who has a Texas connection is
more likely to write to you. If you have lived internationally, all the
better-people are always interested in life in other places and
cultures.

If you have just moved to where you are living now, mention that.
People love playing tourist guides. They are eager to know new faces
from other parts of the country or the world. They can also help you
settle down in the town more easily-so even if nothing happens
romance-wise, you can always make some good friends.

If you speak a foreign language, mention that. It attracts
attention. Along the same lines, mention a little of your family
genealogy, as people may find a connection there as well (e.g. I have a
Scottish or Chinese mother).

Funny and Witty Go a Long Way in Dating

Talk about how you entertain yourself. This is where you can be
funny and witty, so exercise your imagination. Mention about your
social circle. Are you a social person? Do you have many friends? Do
you go out with them a lot? What activities do you do with them? If you
have a good relationship with your siblings, your parents, and your
family, mention it. Mention if they live close to you, and how often
you see them.

Mention if you like pets, and have any of your own.

When you are talking about the person you are looking for, be clear
about your requirements, but make sure you don’t limit yourself
unnecessarily. If you do not want to date men who have kids, say so. If
you do not want to go out with smokers, mention it clearly in your ad.
Again, be careful because you are restricting potential mates here.
Write personals ads and develop your online dating profile with items
that you are very sure you absolutely want or do not want in a
potential partner.

Mention if you are looking for a stable relationship or if you are
just looking to make friends and will see how things go from there
(“looking for nice and interesting people to hang out with”).

Dating Profile Writing and You

In the end, remember to be yourself and let others know what you
want. It will save you a lot of time and effort and just might pay off!
Good luck!

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